12 things you should never say to a cop

[STANG RED]

1.. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas )
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
5. Are You An dy or Barney?
6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
7. You're not gonna check the trunk , are you?
8. I pay your salary!
9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other
cars around.. That's how far ahead of me they are.
12. When the Officer says "Gee Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

[Nursebetty]

HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[lakers]

Is anybody guilty of the following?

ttt

[LH Panther Mom]

Originally posted by STANG RED

12. When the Officer says "Gee Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

[DU_stud04]

Didn't I see you get your ass kicked on COPS?

Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture on my quickies nightstand.

How long is this going to take? Your wife is expecting me.

Hey officer, is that your nightstick or are you just glad to see me?

[Txbroadcaster]

No Officer I never drink on nights I am killing

[STANG RED]

Originally posted by Txbroadcaster
No Officer I never drink on nights I am killing

Now that one cracked me up.

[Old Green]

I'm sorry I didn't stop officer. You see my wife ran off with a police officer and I thought you were him trying to stop me and give her back.

[nobogey72]

True Story:

I was working for a drilling company back in the early 80's and the owner of the rigs wanted to go to Dallas with me to call on and meet a man that we had drilled about 10 wells for. My boss not only had never met the man, he had never been to Dallas even though he had lived in Texas all his life. He had a big pic of John Wayne behind his desk if that gives you an idea of this man. Great man, but had a refreshing lack of sophistication. On our way home he decided he wanted to drive. We were out on LBJ about 5:30 pm and he somehow got stuck in the far left lane and was driving about 55 and the cars were just blowing by him and he was pretty intimidated with how fast everyone was driving. All of a sudden a cop pulled up behind him and turned his lights on, so we worked our way over to the shoulder and stopped. He came to the door and asked for his licence, looked at it and asked "Mr. Lee, do you know why I stopped you ?" Charles replied "Yeah, I magine I was the only SOB you could catch!" I started laughing and eventually the cop started laughing and gave him a warning for having burned out tail lights.

[garciap77]

Don't Tase Me, Bro!" Should be number one think not to say to an officer.

[Lion_Addict]

Originally posted by STANG RED
1.. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas )
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
5. Are You An dy or Barney?
6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
7. You're not gonna check the trunk , are you?
8. I pay your salary!
9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other
cars around.. That's how far ahead of me they are.
12. When the Officer says "Gee Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

Work at the PD here and I've seen some of these on more than one occasion. Lots of really CLUELESS people in this world ya know... . Was a funny post though

[waterboy]

Originally posted by Lion_Addict
Work at the PD here and I've seen some of these on more than one occasion. Lots of really CLUELESS people in this world ya know... . Was a funny post though

So you're a policeman? Help us out here. I need to hear some of the funnier ones you've heard. And the most effective.......for later use.

[Old Green]

True story.

When I was a young Police Officer for the City of Goliad in the 80's , I stopped a young man for DUI. When he got out of his truck, a Jack Daniels bottle fell to the ground.

The young man picked up the bottle, threw it back in his truck, and with slurred speech said, "I'm sorry officer about that, but that bottle just keeps following me around". Never laughed so hard making an arrest.

[SWMustang]

Probably shouldn't tell an HPD office to "F" off and that he's a crooked SOB. Glad I had a passenger in the car or I would have suffered a serious beatdown. Officer Smalls - if you're still with HPD - I still think you suck. Always a few bad apples out there.

[crzyjournalist03]

Officer: "Do you know why I've pulled you over?"
Driver: "Not entirely, but I have a feeling that I'm wanted in connection with that murder in Abilene last week."