North vs South

[44INAROW]

SOUTHERN vs. NORTHERN FOOTBALL

Stadium Size:
NORTH: College football stadiums hold 20,000 people.
SOUTH: High school football stadiums hold 20,000 people.

Campus Decor:
NORTH: Statues of founding fathers.
SOUTH: Statues of Heisman trophy winners.

Homecoming Queen:
NORTH: Also a physics major.
SOUTH: Also Miss America.

Cheerleaders:
NORTH: If you are slightly coordinated, you make the varsity squad.
SOUTH: You begin cheer camp at age two, complete with ballet, dance, &
gymnastic training.

Getting Tickets:
NORTH: 5 days before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus
and purchase tickets.
SOUTH: 5 months before the game you walk into the ticket office on
campus & put name on the waiting list.

Friday Classes After a Thursday Night Game:
NORTH: Students and teachers not sure they're going to the game, because
they have classes on Friday.
SOUTH: Teachers cancel Friday classes because they don't want to see the
few hung-over students that might actually make it to class and puke on
their floor.

Parking:
NORTH: An hour before game time, the University opens the campus for
game parking.
SOUTH: RVs sporting their school flags begin arriving on Wednesday for
the weekend festivities. The really faithful arrive on Tuesday.

Game Day:
NORTH: A few students party in the dorm and watch ESPN on TV.
SOUTH: Every student wakes up, has a beer for breakfast, and rushes over
to where ESPN is broadcasting "Game Day Live" to get on camera and wave
to the idiots up north.

Tailgating:
NORTH: Raw meat on a grill, beer with lime in it, listening to local
radio station with truck tailgate down.
SOUTH: 30-foot custom pig-shaped smoker fires up at dawn. Cooking
accompanied by live performance by "Dave Matthews' Band," who come over
during breaks and ask for a hit off bottle of bourbon.

Getting to the Stadium:
NORTH: You ask "Where's the stadium?" When you find it, you walk right
in.
SOUTH: When you're near it, you'll hear it. On game day it becomes the
state's third largest city.

Concessions:
NORTH: Drinks served in a paper cup, filled to the top with soda.
SOUTH: Drinks served in a plastic cup with the home team's mascot on it,
filled less than halfway with soda, to ensure enough room for Jack
Daniels/Crown.

When National Anthem is Played:
NORTH: Stands are still less than half full.
SOUTH: 100,000 fans, all standing, sing along in perfect four-part
harmony.

The Smell in the Air After the First Score:
NORTH: Nothing changes.
SOUTH: Fireworks, with a touch of Jack Daniels/Crown.

Commentary (Male):
NORTH: "Nice play."
SOUTH: "Dammit, you slow sumbitch - tackle him and break his legs."

Commentary (Female):
NORTH: "My, this certainly is a violent sport."
SOUTH: "Dammit, you slow sumbitch - tackle him and break his legs."

Announcers:
NORTH: Neutral and paid.
SOUTH: Announcer harmonizes with the crowd in the fight song, with a
tear in his eye because he is so proud of his team.

After the Game:
NORTH: The stadium is emptying out.
SOUTH: Another rack of ribs goes on the smoker while somebody goes to
the nearest package store for more bourbon. Planning begins for next
week's game.

[AP Panther Fan]

Good one 44!

"Dammit, you slow sumbitch - tackle him and break his legs.":evillaugh :evillaugh :evillaugh

[big daddy russ]

Originally posted by 44INAROW
Getting to the Stadium:
NORTH: You ask "Where's the stadium?" When you find it, you walk right
in.
SOUTH: When you're near it, you'll hear it. On game day it becomes the
state's third largest city.

Auburn, AL:
Population: 42,987 (as of the 2000 census)
The 10th-largest city in Alabama.

Jordan-Hare Stadium (Auburn University): seats 87,451
On game days during just about any given day during the fall, the stadium alone becomes the fifth-largest city in the state. When you combine the stadium with everyone else in Auburn: tailgaters, locals and tourists, Auburn, AL becomes the third-largest city in AL.

Baton Rouge, LA:
Population: 227,818 (2000 census)
Second-largest city in Louisiana.

Death Valley (Tiger Stadium-LSU): seats 92,000+
On game days becomes sixth-largest city in the state, following NO, the city it calls home, Shreveport, Metairie and Lafayette. Combined with Baton Rouge locals, students and tailgaters, it surpasses New Orleans (population 484,674) as the largest city in the state.