Little Kids Instructions on Life

[LH Panther Mom]

Never trust a dog to watch your food.
Patrick, Age 10
*
When you want something expensive, ask your grandparents.
Matthew, Age12
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Never smart off to a teacher whose eyes and ears are twitching.
Andrew, Age 9
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Wear a hat when feeding seagulls.
Rocky, Age 9
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Sleep in your clothes so you'll be dressed in the morning.
Stephanie, Age 8
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Never try to hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
Rosemary, Age 7
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Don't flush the john when your dad's in the shower.
Lamar, Age 10
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Never ask for anything that costs more than five dollars when your parents are doing taxes.
Carrol, Age 9
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Never bug a pregnant mom.
Nicholas, Age 11
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Don't ever be too full for dessert.
Kelly, Age 10
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When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" don't answer him.
Heather, Age 16
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Never tell your mom her diet's not working.
Michael, Age 14
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Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat.
Joel, Age12
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When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone.
Alyesha, Age 13
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Never try to baptize a cat.
Laura, Age 13
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Never do pranks at a police station.
Sam, Age 10
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Beware of cafeteria food when it looks like it's moving.
Rob, Age 10
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Never tell your little brother that you're not going to do what your
mom told you to do.
Hank, Age 12
*
Remember you're never too old to hold your father's hand.
Molly, Age 11
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Listen to your brain. It has lots of information.
Chelsey, Age 7
*
Stay away from prunes.
Randy, Age 9
*
Never dare your little brother to paint the family car.
Phillip, Age 13

[AP Panther Fan]

Good ones

My kids have learned to ask, say and do all sorts of things while I am on the phone.

It never fails to amaze me...I can give them my undivided attention for hours and yet they wait for the phone to ring!

[Phil C]

Originally posted by AP Panther Fan
Good ones

My kids have learned to ask, say and do all sorts of things while I am on the phone.

It never fails to amaze me...I can give them my undivided attention for hours and yet they wait for the phone to ring!

Hey AP or how about when you have company since they think you will be more receptive to what they want in front of others?

[spiveyrat]

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q:Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A:Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large
pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

Q: What is artificial insemination?
A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie

Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.

Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section"
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome.

Q: What does the word "benign" mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight

[AP Panther Fan]

Originally posted by Phil C
Hey AP or how about when you have company since they think you will be more receptive to what they want in front of others?

Oh certainly! And don't forget, they would rather call you at work and ask you a question over the phone than wait 15 minutes until your scheduled to be home and they have the opportunity to ask you face to face.