Thirty lines to make you smile!

[lepfan]

THIRTY LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE

1 - My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.

2 - I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

3 - I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!

4 - Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

5 - I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

6 - Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

7 - You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me

8 - Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

9 - Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

10 - I'm not a complete idiot - Some parts are missing.

11 - Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

12. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

13 - God must love stupid people; He made so many.

14 - The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

15 - Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

16 - Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

17 - Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!

18 - Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.

19 - Procrastinate Now!

20 - I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?

21 - A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

22 - A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance

23 - Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!

24 - They call it PMS because MadCow Disease was already taken.

25 - He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.

26 - A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

27 - Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

28 - The trouble with life is there's no background music.

29 - The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.

30 - I smile because I don't know what the heck is going on.

[onfirebball05mustang]

Originally posted by lepfan
THIRTY LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE
30 - I smile because I don't know what the heck is going on.

I've had that on a keychain throughout high school...everybody thought that was just HILARIOUS...I just nod and smile.

[pirate44]

Originally posted by onfirebball05mustang
I've had that on a keychain throughout high school...everybody thought that was just HILARIOUS...I just nod and smile.

all that on a keychain it wasnt one of those really big ones that gas stations attach their restroom keys to, was it??

[sinton66]

29 - The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.

Words to live by.