22 Things Not To Say To A Cop

[HighSchool Fan]

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

3. Aren't you that guy from the Village People?

4. Hey, you must have been doin' at least 120 mph to keep up with me...Good job!

5. Didn't I see you get your ass kicked on COPS?

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a cop.

7. I almost decided to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

8. Bad cop! No donut!

9. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

10. Gee, Officer...that's terrific...the last officer only gave me a warning too!

11. Excuse me...is stick up hyphenated?

12. Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's nightstand.

13. Is it true that people become cops because they're too dumb to work at McDonald's?

14. I pay your salary!

15. So, uh, you on the take, or what?

16. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.

17. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

18. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around-that's how far ahead of me they are.

19. What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" You're the trained specialist.

20. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.

21. Hey, is that a 9 mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 Magnum.

22. Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?

[PhiI C]

Also if you are a hunter and get pulled over by a game warden you don't say "Yes Sir! I got a deer in the trunk. It doesn't have any horns but it sure is a big one!"

[LH Panther Mom]

Originally posted by PhiI C
Also if you are a hunter and get pulled over by a game warden you don't say "Yes Sir! I got a deer in the trunk. It doesn't have any horns but it sure is a big one!"

Good one, Phil!

[Gobbla2001]

"You know why I pulled you over, boy?"

"No sir!"

"You was goin' 15 miles an hour above the posted speed limit!"

"Nope, wasn't me" (then drives off)

[NHSRattler60]

Me and my grandma were in houston getting my grandma's medicine when this old lady told us how she got rear ended (true story i swear):

Old Lady (her 80's): I was just goin right along and all of a sudden this guy comes speeding right up and runs right into the back of me.

Some other lady: O my gosh, how fast was he going?

OL: Had to be about 70

SOL: So he was doing the speed limit?

OL: Honey I don't know, all I know is here I am driving along by that big man on the highway (Sam Houston statue near huntsville) and he ran right into the back of me, and I werent doin but 35.

[Gobbla2001]

haha, that big man...