Top Ten Rejected Valentine's Day Cards

[HighSchool Fan]

10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk
But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk
9. Our love will never become cold and hollow
Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.

8. I bought this Valentine's card at the sto.
In hopes that later, you'd be my ho.

7. This feels so good, it feels so right
I just wish it wasn't $250 a night.

6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class
Especially when I'm spanking your big, round, fat ass.

5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished
But now I'm fulfilled... SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!!!

4. Through all the things that came to pass
Our love has grown... but so has your ass.

3. You're a honey... and you're a cutie
I just wish you had J-Lo's booty.

2. I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny
So, right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny!

1. If you think that hickey looks like a blister
You should check out the one that I gave to your sister

[LH Panther Mom]

Originally posted by HighSchool Fan
5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished
But now I'm fulfilled... SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!!!

I can just see your lovely (yes I said it) wife throwing this one back in your face.

[rockdale80]

A few more I had saved on my computer....





"I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having
met you, I've changed my mind."

"I must admit, you brought religion into my life. I never believed
in Hell till I met you."

"Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help
but wonder: What the heck was I thinking?"

"As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am that you're not here
to ruin it for me."

"If I get only one thing for Christmas, I hope it's your sister."

"Thanks for being a part of my life! I never new what evil was
before this!"

"Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go, I would like you
to take this knife out of my back. You'll probably need it again."

"Someday I hope to get married, but not to you."

"I just want you to know that I'm sorry for what happened,
especially since you survived."

"Happy Birthday! You look great for your age... Almost Lifelike!

"Congratulations on getting married! It's not every day you decide
to ruin your life!"

"I always wanted to be rich, powerful, and well respected. While I'm
dreaming, I wish you weren't so darn ugly."

"When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that
we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise."

"We have been friends for a very long time, let's say we call it
quits."

"I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're here."

"Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. Did you ever find out
who the father was?"

"If you didn't have any money, I'd still love you. And miss you very
much."