funnies for the day

[HighSchool Fan]

Actual signs

Plumber: "We repair what your husband fixed."

On the trucks of a local plumbing company in NE Pennsylvania: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."

Pizza shop slogan: "Seven days without pizza makes one weak."

At a tire shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout."

Door of a plastic surgeon's office: "Hello, can we pick your nose?"

Sign at the psychic's Hotline: "Don't call us, we'll call you."

At a laundry shop: "How about we refund your money, send you a new one at no charge, close the store and have the manager shot. Would that be satisfactory?"

At a towing company "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."

Billboard on the side of the road: "Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs."

On an electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."

In a non-smoking area: " If we see smoking, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

On maternity room door: "Push, Push, Push."

At an optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

On a taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."

In a podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels."

On a butcher's window: "Let me meat your needs."

On a fence: "Salesman welcome, Dog food is expensive."

At a car dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."

Outside a muffler shop: "No appointment necessary, we hear you coming."

Outside a hotel: "Help! We need inn-experienced people."

On a desk in a reception room: "We shoot every third salesman, and the second one just left."

In a veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in five minutes. Sit! Stay!"

At the electric company: "We would be de-lighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be."

On the door of a computer store: "Out for a quick byte."

In a restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry. Come on in and get fed up."

Inside a bowling alley: "Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop."

In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully, we'll wait."

In a counselor's office: "Growing old is mandatory, growing wise is optional."

[Ranger Mom]

LOL!! Those are great!

Wooten Septic Tank Specialties here in Midlands slogan is:

We're No. 1 in the No. 2 business!!

[pirate44]

id love to get paid to think up slogans.

[District303aPastPlayer]

those are just plain funny

[89JDAWG]