Because I'm a woman, when I lock my keys in the car I will call my man and demand he leave work to rescue me. I don't care if he is working overtime to pay for a pool I have nagged him into buying, he must show up upon demand...or more nagging will occur.
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Because I'm a woman, when the car isn't running , I will again demand my man leave the work he is doing which I forced him to do to pay for something he doesn't want anyway. If he has the audacity to say that the car must have gas in order to run, I will complain that he should have filled it up twice this week. To make up for his failure, I will call my mom and we will go to the mall to do "Comfort shopping"
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Because I'm a woman, when I catch a cold, I will not stay in bed like my man suggests. The best medicine in the world for me is to be complaining. So I must get up by my own choice and complain that I never get a break. I feel better already.
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Because I'm a woman, I can be relied upon need to go to the grocery store 5-6 times a week. I myself of course cannot be expected to find go even though I forgot to get what was needed. Therefore I send someone else and complain when I do not tell them what to buy and they come home with something different. It does however give me another golden chance at nagging.
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Because I'm a woman, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on calling the repair person right away. Just because it was only unplugged, it still costs $75 in service fees but hey no worries. I still get to spend money and use the phone in one easy step. Life is grand! Top that with now my man gets to work more overtime to pay for that. I need to go shopping to feel better......
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Because I'm a woman, I must talk without ceasing so that my man must hold the television remote control in his hand to adjust the volume while I am talking. When I hide the thing so that he MUST listen to me, I blame him and tell him he lost it. That way I can nag if he spends time looking for it or or I can nag even if he stops and pays attention to me. Either way I win and he never catches on....applies to women with a mother in another town mainly.
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Because I'm a woman, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The answer is always either shopping, my mother, or how I can manipulate you. (But mostly just controling you). I have to nag when you ask, so please ask.
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Because I'm a woman, I want to visit my mother, or have my mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls for the 9th time today. Our main topic is how we make fools of men and they keep comming back for more. After that we shop.
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Because I'm a woman, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if i am crying at the end of it, another woman wrote it and it made me think of how sorry you are. If you do ask me if I liked it, it gives me the chance to nag about how insensitive you are. If you don't ask I can still do it. Either way I get to nag and feel better. Time to shop again.
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Because I'm a woman, I think what you're wearing is tacky. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was tacky, too. Even if I pick out your clothes and control you, you look tacky. Can we just waste another 30 minutes changing clothes? ( I get to nag either way...I win)
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Because I'm a woman, and this is, after all, the year 2005, I will share equally in the earning of money. What I make is mine. What you make is mine. You get the bills. Work more overtime for things I really do not need but will nag you about if you do not get them for me. Time to shop again.