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  1. #1
    All-American Ranger Mom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    Midland, (Greenwood) TX
    Posts
    38,690

    Default Don't mess with MOM

    To all people that have teenagers or have already raised teenagers, or have children who will soon be teenagers or those who will be parents someday OR ANYONE WHO'D JUST GET A LAUGH ..I love this One!!!

    My son came home from school one day,
    With a smirk upon his face.
    He decided he was smart enough
    To put me in my place.

    Guess what I learned in Civics Two,
    That's taught by Mr. Wright?
    It's all about the laws today,
    The 'Children's Bill of Rights.'

    It says I need not clean my room,
    Don't have to cut my hair
    No one can tell me what to think,
    Or speak, or what to wear.

    I have freedom from religion,
    And regardless what you say,
    I don't have to bow my head,
    And I sure don't have to pray.

    I can wear earrings if I want,
    And pierce my tongue & nose.
    I can read & watch just what I like,
    Get tattoos from head to toe.

    And if you ever spank me,
    I'll charge you with a crime.
    I'll back up all my charges,
    With the marks on my behind.

    Don't you ever touch me,
    My body's only for my use,
    Not for your hugs and kisses,
    That's just more child abuse.

    Don't preach about your morals,
    Like your Mama did to you.
    That's nothing more than mind control,
    And it's illegal too!

    Mom, I have these children's rights,
    So you can't influence me,
    Or I'll call Children's Services Division,
    Better known as C.S.D."

    Of course my first instinct was
    To toss him out the door.
    But the chance to teach him a lesson
    Made me think a little more.

    I mulled it over carefully,
    I couldn't let this go.
    A smile crept upon my face,
    He's messing with a pro.

    Next day I took him shopping
    At the local Goodwill Store.
    I told him, "Pick out all you want,
    There's shirts & pants galore.

    I've called and checked with C.S.D.
    Who said they didn't care
    If I bought you K-Mart shoes
    Instead of those Nike Airs.

    I've canceled that appointment
    To take your driver's test.
    The C.S.D. is unconcerned
    So I'll decide what's best."

    I said "No time to stop and eat,
    Or pick up stuff to munch.
    And tomorrow you can start to learn
    To make your own sack lunch.

    Just save the raging appetite,
    And wait till dinner time.
    We're having liver and onions,
    A favorite dish of mine."

    He asked "Can I please rent a movie,
    To watch on my VCR?"
    "Sorry, but I sold your TV,
    For new tires on my car.

    I also rented out your room,
    You'll take the couch instead.
    The C.S.D. requires
    Just a roof over your head.

    Your clothing won't be trendy now,
    I'll choose what we eat.
    That allowance that you used to get,
    Will buy me something neat.

    I'm selling off your jet ski,
    Dirt-bike & roller blades.
    Check out the 'Parents Bill of Rights',
    It's in effect today!

    Hey hot shot, are you crying,
    Why are you on your knees?
    Are you asking God to help you out,
    Instead of C.S.D..?"

    from a MOM (Mean Old Mother.)

  2. #2

    Default

    hahaha thats great!!!!


    ~Not keeping her opinion to herself since Oct. 2002~

  3. #3

    Default

    GO MOM GO

    Isn't it strange that after a bombing everyone blames the Crazy Azz bomber(s), but after a shooting the problem is the gun?

  4. #4
    All-American CheerMom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    2,820

    Default

    That's right, Don't Mess with Mom!!!

  5. #5
    All-American
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    Sinton, TX
    Posts
    25,163

    Default

    I remember at work about 25 years ago a lady (and she was maybe barely 5ft tall) had three teenage sons 15, 14 and 13 and all three were bigger than her. The oldest was really tall and big for his age. Her husband was a truck driver and was gone much of the time and she also worked so before she went to work she would tell them what chores she wanted done. Well one day she was telling them what to do before she went to work and the oldest said "Mother we are all bigger than you and if we don't do what you say and there isn't a thing you can do about it." She just said "That may be true Bud but I guarantee you're going to have to sleep some time."
    That ended that conversation and the chores got done.

    Go Sinton Pirates and Lady Pirates! I also like old movies like "Dawn at Socorro." I also like the Tour de France. I like the Pelican West Band located at South Padre Island, Texas. Phil is PhiI is Bill is the compassion police. He is also the Sinton Matador. Some call him the Sinton Prophet. {Also Captain Obvious. } BEWARE OF THE HOWLING BEAR! He's going for the Corner - he's got it! Roy Orbison rules.
    Phil C Cares!

  6. #6
    All-American
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Cuero,Tx
    Posts
    5,584

    Default

    cant touch that...pretty cool...
    STATE CHAMPIONS 1973, 1974, 1987
    STATE FINALISTS 1970, 1975, 1985
    1986, 1993, 1998, 2004

  7. #7
    onfirebball05mustang
    Guest

    Default

    I love my mom...if i didn't...where would i be?

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