Rules for moving to Texas

[HighSchool Fan]

Notice to Northerners moving South

The following is a pre-approved posting whose purpose is to offer insight and advice to Northerners moving South.

1. Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean Southerners can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows.

2. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four-wheel pick-up with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

3. You can ask Southerners for directions, but unless you already know the positions of key hills, trees and rocks, you're better off trying to find it yourself.

4. Remember: Y'all is singular. All y'all is plural. All y'all's is plural possessive.

5. Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?"

6. Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand you, either.

7. If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this!" Stay out of his way. These are likely the last words he will ever say, or worse still, that you will ever hear.

8. Most Southerners do not use turn signals; they ignore those who do. In fact, if you see a signal blinking on a car with a Southern license plate, you may rest assured that it was already turned on when the car was purchased.

9. If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the most minuscule accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It does not matter if you need anything from the store. It is just something you're supposed to do.

10. Satellite dishes are very popular in the South. When you purchase one, it is positioned directly in front of the house. This is logical, bearing in mind that the dish cost considerably more than the house, and should, therefore, be prominently displayed.

11. Be advised that in the South, 'He needed killin!', is a valid defense.

[HighSchool Fan]

Here's a few more things to know

Texas words of wisdom

1. Don't squat with your spurs on.

2. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

3. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in.

4. If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.

5. If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

6. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

7. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

8. There're two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.

9. If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

10. Never slap a man who's chewin' tobacco.

11. It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

12. Always drink upstream from the herd.

13. When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson.

14. When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.

15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.

16. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

[big daddy russ]

LOL. These were awesome, had to send 'em back to the top. I especially enjoyed 2, 4, 7, 8, and 9 on the first post and 6 on the second.

[CHS_CG]

also..

" If you say POP instead of SODA.. you're gunna get hit."

[bullfrog_alumni_02]

Originally posted by CHS_CG
also..

" If you say POP instead of SODA.. you're gunna get hit."

...it was to my understanding that all is called coke...soda is from maine, new hampshire, mass, that general area.

[CHS_CG]

both are said here.. just as long as you dont say pop.. i saw a guy come down here, and he asked for a pop, and got "popped" upside the back of his head.. i couldnt stop laughin!

[bullfrog_alumni_02]

the only reason i asked was because i had a gf in high school who was from maine and we used to always play-fight about what it was. we still play fight over it today, only now were just friends.

[LH Panther Mom]

Originally posted by bullfrog_alumni_02
...it was to my understanding that all is called coke...soda is from maine, new hampshire, mass, that general area.

That's mine as well. Soda's generally a yankee term, pop is the midwestern term. In Texas (born & raised), it's coke.....then you ask what kind.

[HighSchool Fan]

I always thought it was sodee-water in Texas.

[bullfrog_alumni_02]

Originally posted by LH Panther Mom
That's mine as well. Soda's generally a yankee term, pop is the midwestern term. In Texas (born & raised), it's coke.....then you ask what kind.

you earned major cool points for this post!!!!

[Phantom Stang]

Originally posted by HighSchool Fan
I always thought it was sodee-water in Texas.

yep

[Stang_bball89]

my falimy's from maine and we're always gettin' razzed for the way we pronounce things like 'aunt' and 'route'

[Stang_bball89]

Originally posted by CHS_CG
both are said here.. just as long as you dont say pop.. i saw a guy come down here, and he asked for a pop, and got "popped" upside the back of his head.. i couldnt stop laughin!

that's what happened to my brother

[Ranger Mom]

The word "Pop" or "Soda" has never come out of my mouth used in that context.

Around here it's:

"Do you wanna coke"?

"Yes"

"OKay, what kind"

"Dr Pepper"

[htowntransplant]

one more rule....do NOT underestimate texas heat. u BETTER have sunscreen and dont bother bringing coats...