Dear _________

[SWMustang]

Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.
Sincerely,
Unicorns


Dear Twilight Fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping
through them, they can never get an erection.
Enjoy fantasizing about that.
Sincerely,
Logic


Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.
Sincerely,
The Titanic


Dear J.K. Rowling,
Your books are entirely unrealistic.. I mean, a ginger kid with two friends?
Sincerely,
Anonymous


Dear America ,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely,
Canada


Dear Yahoo,
I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just
saying...
Sincerely,
Google


Dear 2010,
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? ***
happened?!
Sincerely,
1985


Dear Windshield Wipers,
Can't touch this.
Sincerely,
That Little Triangle


Dear Rose,
There was definitely room on that raft for the both of us.
Sincerely,
Jack


Dear girls who have been dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're all dead.
Sincerely,
BP


Dear Saturn,
I liked it, so I put a ring on it.
Sincerely,
God


Dear Fox News,
So far, no news about foxes.
Sincerely,
Unimpressed


Dear Michael Jackson,
You really should have become a Catholic Priest. The pay isn't great, but
the benefits....
Sincerely,
The Pope


Dear jf;ldsfa/kvsmmklnn,
Please lknvfdmv.xvn.
Sincerely,
Stevie Wonder


Dear Nickleback,
That's enough.
Sincerely,
The World


Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,
Please make one for every skin color.
Sincerely,
Black people


Dear Mary,
Just admit that you slept with someone else. This is getting out of hand.
Sincerely,
Joseph


Dear Osama Bin Laden,
Marco....
Sincerely,
United States


Dear World of Warcraft,
Thank you for ensuring my son's virginity.
Sincerely,
Parents Everywhere


Dear Anne Frank,
Two can play this game....
Sincerely,
Waldo


Dear Batman,
What was your power again?
Sincerely,
Superman


Dear Customers,
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely,
Nail Salon Ladies


Dear Americans,
I'm sorry, did you just insult us? I couldn't hear you over my health care
benefits.
Sincerely,
Canadians


Dear Global Warming,
You're the best imaginary friend ever!
Sincerely, > Al Gore


Dear Ugly People,
You're welcome.
Sincerely,
Alcohol


Dear Mr. Gump
*** are you talking about? There's a little diagram on the lid that tells
you EXACTLY what you're gonna get....
Sincerely, Jenny


Dear Katy Perry,
I liked the kiss too.
Sincerely,
Justin Beiber

Dear Haiti ,
Is it too early to ask what's shakin'?
Sincerely,
Seriously Going To Hell

Dear Martin Luther King Jr.
I have a dream within a dream within a dream within another dream.... What
now?
Sincerely,
Leonardo Di Caprio


Dear World,
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars ends there because some
Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok?
Sincerely,
The Mayans


Dear Snooki,
GET BACK TO WORK!
Sincerely,
Willy Wonka


Dear White People,
Don't you just hate immigrants?
Sincerely,
Native Americans


Dear Twihards,
If he sparkles, he's probably one of ours Sincerely, Gay Men Of America


Dear iPhone,
Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of
shut.
Sincerely,
Every iPhone User


Dear Giant Spider on the Wall,
Please die. Please die. Please die. Please die. CRAP! Where did you go?
Sincerely,
Terrified


Dear Trash,
At least you get picked up...
Sincerely,
The Girls of Jersey Shore


Dear Man,
It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?
Sincerely,
Elephant


Dear Dr. Phil,
Look man, there's only room for one fake doctor in this world and I was here
first.
Sincerely,
Dr. Pepper


Dear Scissors,
I feel your pain.....no one wants to run with me either.
Sincerely,

Sarah Palin

[Ernest T Bass]

Stevie Wonder one made me seriously laugh out loud. Does that make me bad?

[Blastoderm55]

Originally posted by Ernest T Bass
Stevie Wonder one made me seriously laugh out loud. Does that make me bad?

At least it wasn't the one about bandaids as in my case.

[AP Panther Fan]

LOL....those were great!

Dear Customers,
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely,
Nail Salon Ladies

I have always thought this!

[44INAROW]

Dear Twilight Fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping
through them, they can never get an erection.
Enjoy fantasizing about that.
Sincerely,
Logic


this one made me laugh out loud.........

[coach]

Originally posted by 44INAROW
Dear Twilight Fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping
through them, they can never get an erection.
Enjoy fantasizing about that.
Sincerely,
Logic


this one made me laugh out loud.........

Dear Mary was wrong but funny

[IrishTex]

Dear Osama Bin Laden,
Marco....
Sincerely,
United States


Cracked me up......lolol

[garciap77]

Dear Rick Perry



Governor Perry,

I am a teacher for a school located in the heart of Austin Texas. Before you disregard this letter, I would like to send my appreciations for taking time to review my issue. Fortunately, I have not been cut or laid off. However, many of my colleagues have been or are about to be. Please read this respectfully and with dignity.

I am under the impression that you are convinced that education is the most important investment a state can make in its people. Am I correct when I say that your goal is to ensure that Texas institutions of higher education are providing students the best chance at a better life? What about when you mentioned the importance of focusing on the core themes of accountability, affordability, and accessibility? I believed that you were for higher education and encouraging educators in preparing our learners for entry into our booming state economy. We took your sugar coated words and took our passions into the classroom with a promise that teachers would be safe from the chopping block. I fear that you are not understanding the uncomfortable impact you are putting on Texas educators. What you are failing to realize, is that our students are the ones in danger. No teachers.... no education.


Along with many educators, I am concerned with the sudden budget cuts and losses in our districts. There are great educators walking on eggshells to keep their jobs as leaders of our great future leaders. Teachers are being laid off due to low budgets and not enough money. As teachers and as a community of educators, we want to believe that our institutions money is being used in a responsible manner by our boards and city leaders. We are wondering where this money is going. Governor Perry, do you realize the more teachers that are cut, the less we remain a village of teachers and the less we are able to change the lives of our students. Where are you when they are standing outside of a school where to doors will soon be locked forever?

You have children of your own who probably had great teachers.

I am disappointed with your choices as you failed to provide adequate assurances that the money for our institutions would be used properly.

This is not hate mail and I write you in all respect. On behalf of Austin ISD and all schools in Austin, including Charter Institutions, we ask that you help us get our jobs back and allow us to lead and influence. Do not let fiscal issues be the reason for closed institutions and less educators. We voted for you and we believed that you would support us all the way. This generation needs us. Greatly. We know what you can do for us. We know how you can help us.

Remember this when you lay your head down at night: without teachers, there is no future.

Thank you.

Ugh, why can't we pay our schools with cupcakes? Then we wouldn't have to cut anybody. Is the education system becoming... not so sweet??

Picture courtesy Google Pics - The OC.News

[Farmersfan]

Originally posted by garciap77
Dear Rick Perry



Governor Perry,

I am a teacher for a school located in the heart of Austin Texas. Before you disregard this letter, I would like to send my appreciations for taking time to review my issue. Fortunately, I have not been cut or laid off. However, many of my colleagues have been or are about to be. Please read this respectfully and with dignity.

I am under the impression that you are convinced that education is the most important investment a state can make in its people. Am I correct when I say that your goal is to ensure that Texas institutions of higher education are providing students the best chance at a better life? What about when you mentioned the importance of focusing on the core themes of accountability, affordability, and accessibility? I believed that you were for higher education and encouraging educators in preparing our learners for entry into our booming state economy. We took your sugar coated words and took our passions into the classroom with a promise that teachers would be safe from the chopping block. I fear that you are not understanding the uncomfortable impact you are putting on Texas educators. What you are failing to realize, is that our students are the ones in danger. No teachers.... no education.


Along with many educators, I am concerned with the sudden budget cuts and losses in our districts. There are great educators walking on eggshells to keep their jobs as leaders of our great future leaders. Teachers are being laid off due to low budgets and not enough money. As teachers and as a community of educators, we want to believe that our institutions money is being used in a responsible manner by our boards and city leaders. We are wondering where this money is going. Governor Perry, do you realize the more teachers that are cut, the less we remain a village of teachers and the less we are able to change the lives of our students. Where are you when they are standing outside of a school where to doors will soon be locked forever?

You have children of your own who probably had great teachers.

I am disappointed with your choices as you failed to provide adequate assurances that the money for our institutions would be used properly.

This is not hate mail and I write you in all respect. On behalf of Austin ISD and all schools in Austin, including Charter Institutions, we ask that you help us get our jobs back and allow us to lead and influence. Do not let fiscal issues be the reason for closed institutions and less educators. We voted for you and we believed that you would support us all the way. This generation needs us. Greatly. We know what you can do for us. We know how you can help us.

Remember this when you lay your head down at night: without teachers, there is no future.

Thank you.

Ugh, why can't we pay our schools with cupcakes? Then we wouldn't have to cut anybody. Is the education system becoming... not so sweet??

Picture courtesy Google Pics - The OC.News

For every single teacher that doesn't get cut, someone else will have to be. There is NO MORE MONEY! I resent the constant attitude from teachers that they deserve better than everyone else does or are better than everyone else. The nonsensical drivel about how firing some teachers means our kids won't be educated is equivilent to saying if we fire the janitor then the toilets will be dirty. No! If they fire the janitor then someone else will simply have to clean the toilets ........................ Get it?

[BEAST]

Originally posted by garciap77
Dear Rick Perry



Governor Perry,

This generation needs us. Greatly.

I am certainly no teacher, but something isnt right with that set of sentences. Shouldnt it be, "This generation needs us greatly."?

Perhaps the teacher that wrote the letter is making Perrys case for him.




BEAST

[Blastoderm55]

Originally posted by BEAST
I am certainly no teacher, but something isnt right with that set of sentences. Shouldnt it be, "This generation needs us greatly."?

Perhaps the teacher that wrote the letter is making Perrys case for him.




BEAST

Just a literal device for emphasis. Not necessarily an example of poor grammer.

[Ernest T Bass]

Originally posted by Farmersfan
If they fire the janitor then someone else will simply have to clean the toilets

But if they fire all the janitors and they don't hire anymore?

[AP Panther Fan]

Originally posted by Ernest T Bass
But if they fire all the janitors and they don't hire anymore?

Cleaning toilets could become part of your job description. You might get lucky if they give it to the cafeteria ladies instead.

[Ernest T Bass]

Toilets will still get clean, but the quality will diminish greatly. They won't get as clean and they won't get cleaned as often.
Same thing will happen when teachers get laid off. School will continue, but the quality will be greatly diminished. To actually suggest any different is, well, it's a lot of things. I'll just called it grossly ignorant to many things.

[Ernest T Bass]

Originally posted by AP Panther Fan
Cleaning toilets could become part of your job description. You might get lucky if they give it to the cafeteria ladies instead.

It already is part of my job. Coaches' office doesn't get clean itself, and no one else does it either.