Write a BS "Icebreaker" Story

[PPHSfan]

OK,
This might be fun.
Write a BS story that you could use the “break the ice” at a party.
I will go first.


When I was in grade school my parents didn’t have a lot of money, so in order to supplement our income, my dad said that we should form a singing group. Well as you can imagine, it was really hard to find work as a singing family back then and we didn’t have much success.

One night I was sitting in my room writing more songs for the family when I came up with a catch little tune. The next day we got out the tape recorder, and recorded what is now the theme song for Gilligan’s Island.

Dad quickly sold the song to a television station, and before you knew it, a hit TV show was formed around my latest work. Later, we recorded the song in Spanish, German, French, and Japanese, as it was an instant classic. I guess the coolest part of it all was when Bob Denver aka Gilligan, and Tina Louise aka Ginger, came to my school and had lunch with me.

Later, the family recorded some more of the songs that I wrote, including the Theme to the cartoon Speed Racer.

Anyways it all seems like so long ago now, but I still get a royalty check every time either show is played in public.

[westtxfballfan]

At the halftime of the Monahans-Bridgeport playoff game last Fall during the meet and greet, I was telling Sweetwater Red about my bi-wing plane which I'd flown in for the game. He didn't believe that I really had one, so I offered to take him for a ride as it was sitting out in the parking lot since I'd taxi'd it down the streets of Sweetwater from the local airport.

Since the Loboes were way up and the game was obviously over, he and I headed out to the parking lot. Soon enough we were taking off in scarfs and googles, like the Red Baron, or - in Red's case - Snoopy, after I had loaned Red my only parachute.

Several thousand feet over the stadium, I cut the motor off and pretended that the engine had quit unexpectedly. I pretended to be frantically trying to restart the motor and looked back and told Red he should jump out with my chute. With a blood-curdling scream that would have made Howard Dean proud, Red jumped out and disappeared into the night below me. I turned the motor on and landed safely on the street behind the home pressbox in time to see Red glide into the north endzone and be led away by Sweetwater's finest as he pleaded his innocence.

[waterboy]

When I was about 24 years old, I took a trip to Galveston for the weekend on a regular basis. On one of these trips, being single and a lady's man, with a hot ride and plenty of money, I drove over to East Beach just to cruise and check out the local ladies. I had just broken up with my girlfriend at the time so I really was a little down. I needed a distraction, if you will, in other words, some action. I really didn't want to be in a big crowd, so I drove over to an area where there weren't any cars, got out, sat on the hood, and watched the ships going in and out of the harbor. After about 15 minutes, sitting there alone, a beautiful young lady drove up and parked her car a few feet from mine. I had my stereo blaring loud enough that, even the wind and noise wouldn't cover it. I looked over and she was doing a dance.........a very sexy, exotic dance. I couldn't believe my eyes! Why would this beautiful woman choose to park beside me, get out and do this right beside where I was parked? After watching her for a few moments, she started actually stripping! I had to say something to her! I proceeded to walk over to her, nervous as can be. I asked her if I could join, she said, "Of course! Please do!" Needless to say, we ended up renting a room at the San Luis Resort where we made love all weekend, even on the beach, the private balcony, and everywhere else the notion hit us. Unfortunately, after that weekend, we contacted each other numerous times, but we never were able to get back together. Imagine my surprise, when a few months later I saw her in a movie! It turns out that this lady's name was Diane Lane!

[BreckTxLonghorn]

So I jump ship in Hong Kong, and I get a job as a looper. You know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking.

So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says?
"Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-lagunga."

So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.

[DaHop72]

Originally posted by westtxfballfan
At the halftime of the Monahans-Bridgeport playoff game last Fall during the meet and greet, I was telling Sweetwater Red about my bi-wing plane which I'd flown in for the game. He didn't believe that I really had one, so I offered to take him for a ride as it was sitting out in the parking lot since I'd taxi'd it down the streets of Sweetwater from the local airport.

Since the Loboes were way up and the game was obviously over, he and I headed out to the parking lot. Soon enough we were taking off in scarfs and googles, like the Red Baron, or - in Red's case - Snoopy, after I had loaned Red my only parachute.

Several thousand feet over the stadium, I cut the motor off and pretended that the engine had quit unexpectedly. I pretended to be frantically trying to restart the motor and looked back and told Red he should jump out with my chute. With a blood-curdling scream that would have made Howard Dean proud, Red jumped out and disappeared into the night below me. I turned the motor on and landed safely on the street behind the home pressbox in time to see Red glide into the north endzone and be led away by Sweetwater's finest as he pleaded his innocence. Man, I thought he said it was suppose to be a bs story. :devil: :devil: :devil: :devil: Well, other than the Loboes being way up and the game being over. :D :D

[ASUFrisbeeStud]

Originally posted by BreckTxLonghorn
So I jump ship in Hong Kong, and I get a job as a looper. You know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking.

So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says?
"Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-lagunga."

So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.


hahaha classic


Let me tell you a little story? I once knew a guy who could have been a great golfer, could have gone pro, all he needed was a little time and practice. Decided to go to college instead. Went for four years, did pretty well. At the end of his four years, his last semester he was kicked out... You know what for? He was night putting, just putting at night with the fifteen-year-old daughter of the Dean... You know who that guy was Danny?