I think we need a Holy Grail thread

[pirate4state]

Bring out your dead! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grbSQ6O6kbs)

:D :D

[pirate4state]

In honor of Billyfred's signature! haha (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rAaWvVFERVA)

BE QUIET!

[BILLYFRED0000]

What is your favorite color????? blue----no yellow!!! aaahhhhgggg.

[CelinaCatFan]

But you've got no arms...Yes I have!

It's a mere flesh wound!

[BILLYFRED0000]

MORTICIAN: Who's that then?
CUSTOMER: I don't know.
MORTICIAN: Must be a king.
CUSTOMER: Why?
MORTICIAN: He hasn't got ***t all over him.

[BILLYFRED0000]

DENNIS: I mean, if I went around sayin' I was an empereror just
because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me they'd
put me away!
ARTHUR: Shut up! Will you shut up!
DENNIS: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system.
ARTHUR: Shut up!
DENNIS: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system!
HELP! HELP! I'm being repressed!
ARTHUR: Bloody peasant!
DENNIS: Oh, what a give away. Did you here that, did you here that,
eh? That's what I'm on about -- did you see him repressing me,
you saw it didn't you?

[turbostud]

You don't frighten us, English pig dogs. Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called "Arthur King," you and all your silly English K-nig-hts.

[CelinaCatFan]

Niiiiiiiiii

[BILLYFRED0000]

NARRATOR: The wise Sir Bedemir was the first to join King Arthur's
knights, but other illustrious names were soon to follow:
Sir Launcelot the Brave; Sir Galahad the Pure; and Sir Robin the
Not-quite-so-brave-as-Sir-Launcelot who had nearly fought the Dragon
of Agnor, who had nearly stood up to the vicious Chicken of Bristol
and who had personally wet himself at the Battle of Badon Hill; and
the aptly named Sir Not-appearing-in-this-film. Together they formed
a band whose names and deeds were to be retold throughout the centuries,
the Knights of the Round Table.

[BILLYFRED0000]

I'm French! Why do think I have this outrageous accent, you
silly king!

[BILLYFRED0000]

I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal
food trough whopper! I fart in your general direction! You mother
was a hamster and your father smelt of eldeberries.

No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time-a!

[BILLYFRED0000]

Bravely bold Sir Robin, rode forth from Camelot.
He was not afraid to die, o Brave Sir Robin.
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways.
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin!

He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed
into a pulp,
Or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken.
To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away,
And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin!

His head smashed in and his heart cut out,
And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged,
And his nostrils ripped and his bottom burned off,
And his penis--

[turbostud]

There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.
Are there? Oh well, tell us.
Tell me. What do you do with witches?
Burn them.
And what do you burn, apart from witches?
More witches.

[turbostud]

Good. So how do you tell whether she is made of wood?
Build a bridge out of her.

[BILLYFRED0000]

She turned me into a newt.

A Newt?

Wull, I got better.

[turbostud]

Here's a classic from Life of Brian.

LIfe of Brian (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2K8_jgiNqUc)

[I. B. Watching]

Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?

[PPHSfan]

It is I, Arthur, King of the Britains

You're not MY King.

[Twirling Time]

I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

[coxjj]

King Arthur: How does it... um... how does it work?
Sir Lancelot: I know not, my liege.
King Arthur: Consult the Book of Armaments.
Brother Maynard: Armaments, chapter two, verses nine through twenty-one.
Cleric: [reading] And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and large chu...
Brother Maynard: Skip a bit, Brother...
Cleric: And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.
Brother Maynard: Amen.
All: Amen.
King Arthur: Right. One... two... five.
Galahad: Three, sir.
King Arthur: Three.