A day in the life of Uncle Jose Villa

[pancho villa]

My 1 day employment

So after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter,
a good find for many retirees,
I lasted less than a day......


About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud,
unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids,
Yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.


As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly, 'Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart.
Nice children you have there. Are they twins?'


The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say,
'Hell no, they ain't twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7.
Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?'


So I replied,
'I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am,
I just couldn't believe someone slept with you twice.
Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.'


My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work..

[waterboy]

:spitlol: :spitlol: That's funny! Sorry that didn't work out for ya. She had it coming, though.:clap: :D

[Bullaholic]

Here's a cruel but funny joke, Pancho...

A woman was shopping at the local supermarket where she selected:

A half-gallon of 2% milk
A carton of eggs
A quart of orange juice

A head of lettuce
A 2 lb. can of coffee
A 1 lb. package of bacon

As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk
standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated,
‘You must be single.’

The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the
derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at the six items
on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that
could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of her, she said: ‘Well, you know what, you’re
absolutely right. But how on earth did you know that?’

The drunk replied, ”Cause you’re ugly.’

[pancho villa]

Originally posted by Bullaholic
Here's a cruel but funny joke, Pancho...

A woman was shopping at the local supermarket where she selected:

A half-gallon of 2% milk
A carton of eggs
A quart of orange juice

A head of lettuce
A 2 lb. can of coffee
A 1 lb. package of bacon

As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk
standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated,
‘You must be single.’

The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the
derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at the six items
on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that
could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of her, she said: ‘Well, you know what, you’re
absolutely right. But how on earth did you know that?’

The drunk replied, ”Cause you’re ugly.’

An oldie but a goodie

[pancho villa]

Do you know why women have small feet?
So they can stand closer to the sink.

[garciap77]

Originally posted by pancho villa
Do you know why women have small feet?
So they can stand closer to the sink.

:eek: :eek: :eek:



:clap:




:)

[duckhunter]

Originally posted by pancho villa
Do you know why women have small feet?
So they can stand closer to the sink. hahahahhahahaahahahahahahahahah:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:

[mac77]

Pancho is infamous for this one. When asked by his wife if he would like a steak or to make whoopee for his birthday, Pancho replied, "I like my steak medium well!"

[Trashman]

Originally posted by pancho villa
My 1 day employment

So after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter,
a good find for many retirees,
I lasted less than a day......


About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud,
unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids,
Yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.


As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly, 'Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart.
Nice children you have there. Are they twins?'

The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say,
'Hell no, they ain't twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7.
Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?'


So I replied,
'I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am,
I just couldn't believe someone slept with you twice.
Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.'


My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work..

Since the Walmart gig didn't work out, you can always go back to watering dirt.


:D