SintonFan
03-20-2009, 11:37 AM
I sit here typing sick to my stomach, overwhelmed by stink and can only hear out of one ear....
why you ask? Here goes.
.
A couple of days ago I went outside my parent's house at night to have a smoke and decided to pet one of my dad's cats. Well low and behold as I approached the garage where the cats hang around, I saw something that looked very very wrong. It was dark and I wasn't sure what I saw because his cat's don't have BIG fluffy tails and this thing did. Sure enough it was a skunk! Happily eating the cat food that was scattered about. I thought "get the gun" but dad didn't have any ammo and he has a big heart nowadays. So me being a respectful son decided that I was gonna trap me that skunk and take it to his ranch... big mistake.
Last night I set his varmit trap(one of those like a cage with a pressure plate on the far end) out with bait and after letting out a couple of pesky cats determined to take the bait, sure enuf around 11 pm last night I finally caught that darn varmit! I got about ten feet away and he threatened with the way skunks do, by getting bigger and raising his tail. So he was a pi$$ed off and aggressive skunk too. Wonderful, I thought. I'll leave him there and take care of it in the morning.
This morning comes along and as I approached the cage he raised his tail and looks pretty mean. I was gonna get a long wire and drag the cage to the corner of the property and just call animal control after seeing how aggressive he was. Well no, dad says just get a tarp and cover him so he can only spray the tarp. Great plan I thought. NOT!
I grabbed a tarp and raised it in front of me covering my whole body and approach that varmit. Sure enuf, as I get within 5 feet something touched my head and upper body. It was that stupid skunk! He had arched a spay over the tarp I was holding! I instantly smelled that familiar smell coming from my head and shoulders! I ran inside and thought "find some tomato! find some tomato soup!" I frantically looked all around and no friggin tomato soup or even V8! Arghhhhh! I was doomed!!!!!!!!
I kept looking and spotted a can of concentrated tomato bisque. I thought well since it has tomato in it it must work! So I went to the bathroom and proceeded to paste myself with the contents of that can. I had that there bisque everywhere from my hair to my face to my shoulders. I scrubbed and scrubbed with that stuff. I rinsed off and proceeded to then wash my hair several times and soap up soap up soap up. I washed off put on clean clothes and threw away the stinky clothes but I still smell like damnation! I washed again and the odor is still strong so I wash again, while this is going on, my parent's toy rat terriers are feverishly barking at my bathroom door thinking a wild animal is in there with me. :eek:
After resigning myself to the fact I did as best I could and would just have to "stink" today I proceeded to dress again and headed to the office. I'm a little bewildered by all this crap this morning and I walk in the office dad just starts laughing and laughing cuz he can still smell me. Thanks dad I said to his amusement...
I noticed at this point my hearing was a little weird. Turns out my hearing in the left ear is muted somewhat...
I didn't know Campbells Tomato Bisque had chunks of tomatoes in it... but I do now...:doh: :doh: :doh:
And now you know why "I sit here typing sick to my stomach, overwhelmed by stink and can only hear out of one ear....":D
why you ask? Here goes.
.
A couple of days ago I went outside my parent's house at night to have a smoke and decided to pet one of my dad's cats. Well low and behold as I approached the garage where the cats hang around, I saw something that looked very very wrong. It was dark and I wasn't sure what I saw because his cat's don't have BIG fluffy tails and this thing did. Sure enough it was a skunk! Happily eating the cat food that was scattered about. I thought "get the gun" but dad didn't have any ammo and he has a big heart nowadays. So me being a respectful son decided that I was gonna trap me that skunk and take it to his ranch... big mistake.
Last night I set his varmit trap(one of those like a cage with a pressure plate on the far end) out with bait and after letting out a couple of pesky cats determined to take the bait, sure enuf around 11 pm last night I finally caught that darn varmit! I got about ten feet away and he threatened with the way skunks do, by getting bigger and raising his tail. So he was a pi$$ed off and aggressive skunk too. Wonderful, I thought. I'll leave him there and take care of it in the morning.
This morning comes along and as I approached the cage he raised his tail and looks pretty mean. I was gonna get a long wire and drag the cage to the corner of the property and just call animal control after seeing how aggressive he was. Well no, dad says just get a tarp and cover him so he can only spray the tarp. Great plan I thought. NOT!
I grabbed a tarp and raised it in front of me covering my whole body and approach that varmit. Sure enuf, as I get within 5 feet something touched my head and upper body. It was that stupid skunk! He had arched a spay over the tarp I was holding! I instantly smelled that familiar smell coming from my head and shoulders! I ran inside and thought "find some tomato! find some tomato soup!" I frantically looked all around and no friggin tomato soup or even V8! Arghhhhh! I was doomed!!!!!!!!
I kept looking and spotted a can of concentrated tomato bisque. I thought well since it has tomato in it it must work! So I went to the bathroom and proceeded to paste myself with the contents of that can. I had that there bisque everywhere from my hair to my face to my shoulders. I scrubbed and scrubbed with that stuff. I rinsed off and proceeded to then wash my hair several times and soap up soap up soap up. I washed off put on clean clothes and threw away the stinky clothes but I still smell like damnation! I washed again and the odor is still strong so I wash again, while this is going on, my parent's toy rat terriers are feverishly barking at my bathroom door thinking a wild animal is in there with me. :eek:
After resigning myself to the fact I did as best I could and would just have to "stink" today I proceeded to dress again and headed to the office. I'm a little bewildered by all this crap this morning and I walk in the office dad just starts laughing and laughing cuz he can still smell me. Thanks dad I said to his amusement...
I noticed at this point my hearing was a little weird. Turns out my hearing in the left ear is muted somewhat...
I didn't know Campbells Tomato Bisque had chunks of tomatoes in it... but I do now...:doh: :doh: :doh:
And now you know why "I sit here typing sick to my stomach, overwhelmed by stink and can only hear out of one ear....":D