Things I Have Learned From Living In Texas

[bobcat4life]

* Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.

* There are 5, 000 types of snakes on earth and 4, 998 live in Texas.

* There are 10, 000 types of spiders. All 10, 000 live in Texas, plus a couple no one' s seen before.

*If it grows , it sticks. If it crawls, it bites .

* Onced and Twiced are words.

*It is not a shopping cart; it is a buggy .

* People actually grow and eat okra.

* ' Fixin to' is one word.

* There is no such thing as ' lunch .' There is only dinner and then supper.

* Iced tea is appropriat e for all meals and you start drink ing it when you' re 2. We do like a little tea with our sugar!



* Backwards and forwards means 'I know every thing about you.



* DJeet is actually a phrase meaning 'Did you eat? '



*You don' t have to wear a watch because it doesn 't matter what time it is. You work until you' re done or it's too dark to see.



*You don' t PUSH buttons, you MASH them.

*You measure distance in minutes.

* You' ll probably have to switch from ' heat' to ' A/C' in the same day.

* ' Fix' is a verb. Example: 'I'm fixin to go to the store .
'
*All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.

*You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

*You carry jumper cables in your car . . . for your OWN car.

* There are only four spices: salt, pepper, Tabasco and ketchup.

*The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and sports.

*The first day of deer season is a national holiday.

*100 degrees Fahrenheit is 'a little warm.
'
*We have four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, still Summer and Christmas.

* Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past time known as ' goin' Wal-Martin' or off to ' Wally World .
'
*A cool snap (below 70 degrees) is good pinto - bean weather.

*A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola or pop. . . it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor. Example: ' What kinda coke you want? '

[Bubba-Joe]

Okay here are few you missed

Real men will take their gimme cap or cowboy hat off when they walk inside a building.

Texas women don't mind when you open a door for them.

Texas men always open a door for a female not matter what age the woman is- boys are taught this from the time they are old enough to listen or watch.

The advice to keep your mouth shut if you don't know what your talking about is learned at an early age.

Hauling hay in August build character.

When you build a barbwire fence make sure you wear longsleeves even if you are building that damn fence in late Aug or Sept.

In the winter you carry an axe to break ice on water tanks and a chain saw to cut wood.

[mustang68]

Bubba you been goin to skool behind my back?
I thought it was bobwar:confused:

[OldBison75]

Naw, he ain't been to no school, he jist mispelled bobwar wrong!

[Trashman]

Ya missed a couple thar Bubba...Don't squat wid yer spurs on....and always drank upstream from the heard...::nerd:

[I. B. Watching]

I've always measured distances in Texas by how many beers it takes to get there

[Looking4number8]

How about "Red Beans and Cornbread is a full meal"!

[Rabid Cougar]

The shoulder of the road is for slow cars to drive to let you pass, known to Yankees as a "Texas Pass".

[SintonFan]

Fun stuff yall!

[BILLYFRED0000]

When you say far you mean fire. When you say war you mean wire as in barb war.

IN texas you think you drive an expensive lexus.... 60 grand huh.

I have two 300,000 dollar combines to drive. His and hers.

You don't like the way cows smell. Smells like money to me.

We wave in Texas. Thats right we are friendly.

We don't take cell phones huntin. If you do and it goes off, you better be runnin. We WILL be shootin.

[S_Tex_3A_Fan]

The one about the festivals is a little untrue: you have Come and Take It in Gonzales, Davy Crockett Days in Ozona, Buc Days in Corpus. But you are right about the fruit: Watermellon Thump in Luling, Watermellon Jubilee in Stockdale, Strawberry festival in Poteet(My wifes great grandfather was the fist person to bring Strawberries in Poteet-Atascosa county), Peach and Mellon Festival in De Leon, Peanut Festival in Floresville...

[waterboy]

The Tomato Fest in Jacksonville, the Yamboree in Gilmer, the 'Possum Fest in Rhonesboro.....:D

[BEAST]

I got one for ya, I can almost promise you dang near every man on this site goes outside at night to pee. I bet they dont do that in Yankee land. Heck my 3 boys about halfway think it is a waste of water to pee inside and flush the toilet. 7 times out of 10 they find a tree.:D




BEAST

[DDBooger]

Originally posted by BEAST
I got one for ya, I can almost promise you dang near every man on this site goes outside at night to pee. I bet they dont do that in Yankee land. Heck my 3 boys about halfway think it is a waste of water to pee inside and flush the toilet. 7 times out of 10 they find a tree.:D




BEAST
you know, i'm not Country by any sense of the word, but yeah, a good pee outside is great, especially after your 20th beer or so, the bathroom becomes a non-option. You could have a skid-o-can outside and I'd pee on the side of it! lmao

[charlesrixey]

Originally posted by BEAST
I got one for ya, I can almost promise you dang near every man on this site goes outside at night to pee. I bet they dont do that in Yankee land. Heck my 3 boys about halfway think it is a waste of water to pee inside and flush the toilet. 7 times out of 10 they find a tree.:D

BEAST

i'll go ahead and admit this as well

there was nothing like being able to hang out on your back porch and not have to go inside when nature called:)

[turbostud]

Originally posted by BEAST
I got one for ya, I can almost promise you dang near every man on this site goes outside at night to pee. I bet they dont do that in Yankee land. Heck my 3 boys about halfway think it is a waste of water to pee inside and flush the toilet. 7 times out of 10 they find a tree.:D




BEAST

I do it in daylight. My wife and I will be working in the backyard(yes I have a fence) and instead of wasting time I just go in right there. No since in wasting time walking to the toilet inside. My daughter will tell on me and my wife just shakes her head. :D

[skins4life]

Originally posted by Looking4number8
How about "Red Beans and Cornbread is a full meal"!

Don't forget the fried Tatters!!!

[DDBooger]

Originally posted by skins4life
Don't forget the fried Tatters!!!
http://i253.photobucket.com/albums/hh80/NuclearCookout/slingblade.jpg

[skins4life]

Wasn't even thinking of Sling Blade. We used to have beans, tatters and cornbread nearly every night when I was growing up. Every now and then we would have to pouch a deer for meat. Had to save the beef and hogs for the sale barn to pay the lease!

[BILLYFRED0000]

Originally posted by S_Tex_3A_Fan
The one about the festivals is a little untrue: you have Come and Take It in Gonzales, Davy Crockett Days in Ozona, Buc Days in Corpus. But you are right about the fruit: Watermellon Thump in Luling, Watermellon Jubilee in Stockdale, Strawberry festival in Poteet(My wifes great grandfather was the fist person to bring Strawberries in Poteet-Atascosa county), Peach and Mellon Festival in De Leon, Peanut Festival in Floresville...

Here is one for you. Bois' d Arc bash in Commerce.

[BILLYFRED0000]

Nuther one for ya'll.

Creek (pronunciation Crick) Wide ditch with rattlers in it.

And we do have the rattle snake round up.

Ol Denny Rae Braswell of Bronte been doin that for ever. Good buddy of mine and he has an impressive rattlebug ranch at Bronte too.

[Ranger Mom]

My husband will be sitting in his recliner watching TV and get up and PASS the bathroom, walk to the back door and go outside to pee!!

OH....and I have never heard anyone call a shopping cart a "buggy!":confused:

[waterboy]

Originally posted by Ranger Mom
My husband will be sitting in his recliner watching TV and get up and PASS the bathroom, walk to the back door and go outside to pee!!

OH....and I have never heard anyone call a shopping cart a "buggy!":confused:
Peeing outside is a MAN thing. I thought all men did it.

And you ain't never heard a shopping cart be called a buggy?:confused: Are you sure you're from Texas? :doh: I've rarely heard them referred to as shopping carts!:thinking:

[BEAST]

Originally posted by Ranger Mom
My husband will be sitting in his recliner watching TV and get up and PASS the bathroom, walk to the back door and go outside to pee!!

OH....and I have never heard anyone call a shopping cart a "buggy!":confused:

Heck yes. Im not the only one to pass a perfectly good bathroom for the outdoors. Also, you've never heard buggy? Thats all I have ever heard them called.



BEAST

[Looking4number8]

Originally posted by Ranger Mom


OH....and I have never heard anyone call a shopping cart a "buggy!":confused:
I am with you RM, never heard it called a buggy, always a shoping cart

[Texasfootball2]

Originally posted by Looking4number8
I am with you RM, never heard it called a buggy, always a shoping cart

I have called it a "basket" or "basket thingy":)

[crzyjournalist03]

Originally posted by Ranger Mom
My husband will be sitting in his recliner watching TV and get up and PASS the bathroom, walk to the back door and go outside to pee!!

OH....and I have never heard anyone call a shopping cart a "buggy!":confused:

Almost everybody I know has used the term "buggy"! :thinking:

[lakers]

Originally posted by crzyjournalist03
Almost everybody I know has used the term "buggy"! :thinking:

In my parts we call 'em "baskets".(West Texas if u consider Abilene West Texas)

To me a buggy is like a go-kart or golf cart etc...