Warning

[tex_male]

If you ever buy DAVE'S TOTAL INSANITY hot sauce read the warning on back.

Use this product one drop at a time. Keep away from eyes, pets and children. Not for people with heart/respiratory problems.

Well needless to say I didn't read this. Almost drank a whole gallon of milk to relieve the burning in my mouth. Nothing I could do on the other end.:flaming:

[LH Panther Mom]

LOL! I'm sorry to laugh but it reminded me of my husband and a couple of his "experiences" with hot sauce.

[STANG RED]

LOL, well I guess I wont be trying any of that stuff. I love good hot sauce, but I'm more into good flavor than just pure blazing heat. I like it pretty warm, but I dont want the heat to overpower the flavor. Thanks for the warning tex_male.

[LH Panther Mom]

***warning - hijack (sort of)***



Every August, Austin has a Hot Sauce festival. There are many tables set up around Waterloo park so that people can sample the various sauces & buy if they want. The booths have chips or crackers and it's always a good time.

The last time we went, 3-4 years ago, we had made most of the rounds and had tasted some excellent sauces. We had seen a guy that had a bright red face that had told us about the hottest sauce he had EVER tasted. So, hubby being really curious :doh: , we had to go find this table. We found it & the sauce was almost black in a bottle about 1.0-1.5 oz at a cost of $100. :eek: :eek: :eek: There weren't any chips for tasting - they had a box of toothpicks. :doh: :doh: :doh: Yes, he tried it. Yes, he cried. Yes, his face was more red than the guy we had seen. Needless to say, we didn't buy it. :D

[tex_male]

LOL about the eye thing because some may wonder how the. Well I just remembered, at the last Relay for Life we had here in Monahans there was a hot sauce eating competition, a young man with a bottle in hand went to drink some hot sauce and got it in his eyes. He was not in good shape after that.

[LH Panther Mom]

Originally posted by tex_male
LOL about the eye thing because some may wonder how the. Well I just remembered, at the last Relay for Life we had here in Monahans there was a hot sauce eating competition, a young man with a bottle in hand went to drink some hot sauce and got it in his eyes. He was not in good shape after that.
Oh wow! I can imagine!


:doh: Hubby had another incident that involved fresh jalapeno juice (from about 20 peppers) on his hands and a call from Mother Nature. :devil: :doh:

[sinton66]

There used to be one made in the Houston area that would blow Dave's Insanity away. Don't know if it's still around. It was called "Death by Stupidity". I've got a bottle of it I bought some years ago. There's a heat index for hot sauces, Dave's was a million BTUs. "Death" was a million and a half.

[tex_male]

A guy here at work had a bottle that says it could be used to clean oil stains off your drive way. I didn't want to try any of that stuff.

[sinton66]

Here's a hint. I learned this watching several "Death" demos at Trader's Village in Houston. Keep a teaspoon of honey handy.;)

[tex_male]

I will keep the honey in mind. I use milk or eat bread.

I notice people try to drink lots of water, wrong thing to do!

My wifes aunt adds water to her salsa to make more with less ingredients.

[sinton66]

Yeah, water doesn't help. Gotta have something to counteract that oil. Capsicum (sp?) Oil is the hottest stuff in the known world.

[nobogey72]

Originally posted by tex_male
If you ever buy DAVE'S TOTAL INSANITY hot sauce read the warning on back.

Use this product one drop at a time. Keep away from eyes, pets and children. Not for people with heart/respiratory problems.

Well needless to say I didn't read this. Almost drank a whole gallon of milk to relieve the burning in my mouth. Nothing I could do on the other end.:flaming:

Here's a tip for what to do about the "other end". Use a popsicle! NOT one of the round skinny ones though. That would be weird. Use one of the flat kind (that has two sticks in it).

PS BE SURE and hold it by the stick. :eek: (I learned this the hard way):doh: Anyway, good luck.:)

[tex_male]

Originally posted by nobogey72
Here's a tip for what to do about the "other end". Use a popsicle! NOT one of the round skinny ones though. That would be weird. Use one of the flat kind (that has two sticks in it).

PS BE SURE and hold it by the stick. :eek: (I learned this the hard way):doh: Anyway, good luck.:)


HA HA HA HA

NO!

One way hole!

[nobogey72]

Originally posted by tex_male
HA HA HA HA

NO!

One way hole!

Woah!!! I don't think I said anything about anything in or out or anything like that.:doh: :eek: Just a little relief for the outer edges. :D

[tex_male]

LOL :D

[Trashman]

(Warning contians some rough language)

Notes from an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast:

Recently I was honoured to be selected as an outstanding famous celebrity in Texas, to be a judge at a Chili cook-off, because no one else wanted to do it. Also the original person called in sick at the last moment, and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides, they told me that I could have free beer during the tasting. So I accepted.

Here are the scorecards from the event:

CHILI # 1: MIKE'S MANIC MONSTER CHILI

JUDGE ONE: A little to heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.

JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavour. Very mild.

FRANK: Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway with this stuff. I needed two beers to put the flames out. Hope that's the worst one. Those Texans are crazy.

CHILI # 2: ARTHUR'S AFTERBURNER CHILI

JUDGE ONE: Smokey, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.

JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavour. Needs more peppers to be taken seriously.

FRANK: Keep this out of reach of children! I'm not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave of two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich manoeuvre. They had to walkie-talkie in three extra beers when they saw the look on my face.

CHILI # 3: FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI

JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans.

JUDGE TWO: A beanless chili. A bit salty. Good use of red peppers.

FRANK: Call the EPA, I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting drunk.

CHILI # 4: BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC

JUDGE ONE: Black Bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.

JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods. Not much of a chili.

FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills; that 300 lb bitch is starting to look HOT, just like this nuclear-waste I'm eating.

CHILI # 5: LINDA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER

JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.

JUDGE TWO: Chili using shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

FRANK: My ears are ringing, and I can no linger focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly from a pitcher onto it. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Freakin' Rednecks! ! !

CHILI # 6: VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY

JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spice and peppers.

JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions and garlic.

FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulphuric flames. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that slut Sally. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone!

CHILI # 7: SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI

JUDGE ONE: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.

JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum. Tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried about Judge # 3.

FRANK: You could put a #)$^@#*&! Grenade in my mouth, pull the #)$^@#*&! pin, and I wouldn't feel a damn thing. I've lost the sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my X*$(@#^&$ mouth. My pants are full of lava-like crap, to match my X*$(@#^&$ shirt. At least the during the autopsy they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the four inch hole in my stomach.

CHILI # 8: HELEN'S MOUNT SAINT CHILI

JUDGE ONE: A perfect ending. This is a nice blend chili, safe for all; not too bold, but spicy enough to declare its existence.

JUDGE TWO: This final entry is a good balanced chili, neither mild now hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3 passed out, fell and pulled the chili pot on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor Yank.

FRANK: - - - - - Mama?- - - (Editor's Note: Judge # 3 was unable to report).

[rockdale80]

Originally posted by tex_male
If you ever buy DAVE'S TOTAL INSANITY hot sauce read the warning on back.

Use this product one drop at a time. Keep away from eyes, pets and children. Not for people with heart/respiratory problems.

Well needless to say I didn't read this. Almost drank a whole gallon of milk to relieve the burning in my mouth. Nothing I could do on the other end.:flaming:

You should also not take a leak after eating a habanero. :(

[espn1]

Just ladle a little honey on there and then let the dog lick it off!

[rockdale80]

Originally posted by espn1
Just ladle a little honey on there and then let the dog lick it off!



Its not cheating because its your dog!!

[Necks_Fan]

Originally posted by Trashman
(Warning contians some rough language)

Notes from an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast:

Recently I was honoured to be selected as an outstanding famous celebrity in Texas, to be a judge at a Chili cook-off, because no one else wanted to do it. Also the original person called in sick at the last moment, and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides, they told me that I could have free beer during the tasting. So I accepted.

Here are the scorecards from the event:

CHILI # 1: MIKE'S MANIC MONSTER CHILI

JUDGE ONE: A little to heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.

JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavour. Very mild.

FRANK: Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway with this stuff. I needed two beers to put the flames out. Hope that's the worst one. Those Texans are crazy.

CHILI # 2: ARTHUR'S AFTERBURNER CHILI

JUDGE ONE: Smokey, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.

JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavour. Needs more peppers to be taken seriously.

FRANK: Keep this out of reach of children! I'm not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave of two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich manoeuvre. They had to walkie-talkie in three extra beers when they saw the look on my face.

CHILI # 3: FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI

JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans.

JUDGE TWO: A beanless chili. A bit salty. Good use of red peppers.

FRANK: Call the EPA, I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting drunk.

CHILI # 4: BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC

JUDGE ONE: Black Bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.

JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods. Not much of a chili.

FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills; that 300 lb bitch is starting to look HOT, just like this nuclear-waste I'm eating.

CHILI # 5: LINDA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER

JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.

JUDGE TWO: Chili using shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

FRANK: My ears are ringing, and I can no linger focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly from a pitcher onto it. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Freakin' Rednecks! ! !

CHILI # 6: VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY

JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spice and peppers.

JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions and garlic.

FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulphuric flames. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that slut Sally. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone!

CHILI # 7: SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI

JUDGE ONE: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.

JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum. Tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried about Judge # 3.

FRANK: You could put a #)$^@#*&! Grenade in my mouth, pull the #)$^@#*&! pin, and I wouldn't feel a damn thing. I've lost the sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my X*$(@#^&$ mouth. My pants are full of lava-like crap, to match my X*$(@#^&$ shirt. At least the during the autopsy they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the four inch hole in my stomach.

CHILI # 8: HELEN'S MOUNT SAINT CHILI

JUDGE ONE: A perfect ending. This is a nice blend chili, safe for all; not too bold, but spicy enough to declare its existence.

JUDGE TWO: This final entry is a good balanced chili, neither mild now hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3 passed out, fell and pulled the chili pot on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor Yank.

FRANK: - - - - - Mama?- - - (Editor's Note: Judge # 3 was unable to report). FYI: There is some rough language in this post. I didn't want to DIRECTLY quote it.

[nobogey72]

Originally posted by espn1
Just ladle a little honey on there and then let the dog lick it off!

BrrRabbit Syrup & Log Cabin work also. Or, so I've heard.:doh:

[charlesrixey]

Originally posted by sinton66
Yeah, water doesn't help. Gotta have something to counteract that oil. Capsicum (sp?) Oil is the hottest stuff in the known world.

oleoresin capsicum is the active ingredient in "OC" spray

pepper spray comes from peppers---

military grade is even stronger than the regular stuff-almost like the bear spray some hunters have

don't ask me how i know--but the biohazard sign should be a hint!:)

[charlesrixey]

Originally posted by Necks_Fan
FYI: There is some rough language in this post. I didn't want to DIRECTLY quote it.

one of my favorite forwards ever!

[sinton66]

The Capsicum is made from the seeds of peppers. It's the oil squeezed out of them when pressed. They use some dang hot peppers from Africa, and elsewhere. It usually is black in color. That is the majority ingredient in Dave's Insanity and Death by Stupidity. Daves is about 75% Capsicum and DBS is about 90%.

[lepfan]

My son drinks Tobasco and will eat habanero peppers whole....I asked him about this stuff...LOL...he said that stuff is "ridiculously hot!!! He said the first time he tried it he 'hurts' you...That is all I need to know...I won't go near it!!!