SINTON65
01-06-2004, 11:49 PM
Just had to share these. I got it on email and thought some of these were priceless!
WHAT HALLMARK DOESN'T PRINT
>
>So your daughter's a hooker, and it spoiled your day...
>Look at the bright side, it's really good pay!
>
>My tire was thumping, I thought it was flat...
>When I looked at the tire I noticed your cat! SORRY!
>
>Heard your hubby left you, how upset you must be, but don't fret about
it...
>He moved in with me!
>
>Looking back at the years that we've been together, I can't help but
wonder...
>What the hell was I thinking?
>
>Congratulations on your wedding day!
>Too bad no one likes your husband.
>
>How could two people as beautiful as you...
>Have such an ugly baby?
>
>I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having
>met you...
>I've changed my mind.
>
>I must admit, you brought religion into my life...
>I never believed in HELL until I met you!
>
>As the days go by I think of how lucky I am...
>that you're not here to ruin it for me!
>
>Congratulations on your promotion! Before you go...
>would you like to take this knife out of my back? You'll probably need it
>again!
>
>Someday I hope to get married...
>But not to you!
>
>Happy Birthday! You look great for your age...
>Almost lifelike!
>
>When we were together you said you'd die for me...
>Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise.
>
>We have been friends for a very long time...
>What say we stop?
>
>I'm so miserable without you...
>It's almost like you're here!
>
>Congratulations on your new bundle of joy!
>Did you ev! er find out who the father is?
>
>Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday...
>So we're having you put to sleep.
>
>Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad! (available only in Arkansas, Tennessee,
>Kentucky, and West Virginia
WHAT HALLMARK DOESN'T PRINT
>
>So your daughter's a hooker, and it spoiled your day...
>Look at the bright side, it's really good pay!
>
>My tire was thumping, I thought it was flat...
>When I looked at the tire I noticed your cat! SORRY!
>
>Heard your hubby left you, how upset you must be, but don't fret about
it...
>He moved in with me!
>
>Looking back at the years that we've been together, I can't help but
wonder...
>What the hell was I thinking?
>
>Congratulations on your wedding day!
>Too bad no one likes your husband.
>
>How could two people as beautiful as you...
>Have such an ugly baby?
>
>I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having
>met you...
>I've changed my mind.
>
>I must admit, you brought religion into my life...
>I never believed in HELL until I met you!
>
>As the days go by I think of how lucky I am...
>that you're not here to ruin it for me!
>
>Congratulations on your promotion! Before you go...
>would you like to take this knife out of my back? You'll probably need it
>again!
>
>Someday I hope to get married...
>But not to you!
>
>Happy Birthday! You look great for your age...
>Almost lifelike!
>
>When we were together you said you'd die for me...
>Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise.
>
>We have been friends for a very long time...
>What say we stop?
>
>I'm so miserable without you...
>It's almost like you're here!
>
>Congratulations on your new bundle of joy!
>Did you ev! er find out who the father is?
>
>Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday...
>So we're having you put to sleep.
>
>Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad! (available only in Arkansas, Tennessee,
>Kentucky, and West Virginia