BILLYFRED0000
07-25-2008, 07:32 AM
Green Garden Grass snakes can be dangerous. Yes,
grass snakes..not rattlesnakes.
A couple in Sweetwater, Texas had a lot of potted
plants, and during a recent cold spell, the wife was
bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a
possible freeze. It turned out that a little green
garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants and
when it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife
saw it go under the sofa. She let out a very loud
scream.
The husband, who was taking a shower, ran out into the
living room naked to see what the problem was. She
told him there was a snake under the sofa. He got
down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for
it.
About that time, the family dog came and cold-nosed
him on the leg. He thought the snake had bitten him
and he fainted. His wife thought he had a heart
attack so she called an ambulance. The attendants
rushed in, loaded him on the stretcher and started
carrying him out.
About that time, the snake came out from under the
sofa and the Emergency Medical Technician saw it and
dropped his end of the stretcher. That's when the man
broke his leg and why he is in the hospital.
The wife still had the problem of the snake in the
house so she called on a neighbor man. He volunteered
to capture the snake. He armed himself with a
rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch.
Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who
sat down on the sofa in relief. But in relaxing, her
hand dangled in between the cushions, where she felt
the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted,
the snake rushed back under the sofa, and the neighbor
man, seeing her laying there passed out, tried to use
CPR to revive her.
The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from
shopping at the grocery store, saw her husband's mouth
on the woman's mouth and slammed her husband in the
back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking
him out and cutting his scalp to the point where it
needed stitches.
The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she
saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife
bending over him, so she assumed he had been bitten by
the snake. She went to the kitchen, brought back a
small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down
the man's throat.
By now the police had arrived. They saw the
unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that
a drunken fight had occurred. They were about to
arrest them all when the two women tried to explain
how it all happened over a little green snake. They
called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and
his sobbing wife.
Just then the little snake crawled out from under the
couch. One of the policemen drew his gun and fired
at it. He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end
table that was on one side of the sofa. The table
fell over and the lamp on it shattered. As the bulb
broke, it started a fire in the drapes.
The other policeman tried to beat out the flames and
fell through the window into the yard on top of the
family dog who, startled, jumped up and raced out into
the street where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it
and smashed into the parked police car and set it on
fire. Meanwhile the burning drapes had spread to the
walls and the entire house was blazing.
Neighbors called the fire department and the arriving
fire truck had started raising his ladder as they were
halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out
the overhead wires, put out the electricity and
disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city block
area.
Time passed --- Both men were discharged from the
hospital, the house was rebuilt, the police acquired a
new car, and all was right with their world.
About a year later, they were watching TV and the
weatherman announced a cold snap for that night. The
husband asked his wife if she thought they should
bring in their plants for the night.
She shot him.
grass snakes..not rattlesnakes.
A couple in Sweetwater, Texas had a lot of potted
plants, and during a recent cold spell, the wife was
bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a
possible freeze. It turned out that a little green
garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants and
when it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife
saw it go under the sofa. She let out a very loud
scream.
The husband, who was taking a shower, ran out into the
living room naked to see what the problem was. She
told him there was a snake under the sofa. He got
down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for
it.
About that time, the family dog came and cold-nosed
him on the leg. He thought the snake had bitten him
and he fainted. His wife thought he had a heart
attack so she called an ambulance. The attendants
rushed in, loaded him on the stretcher and started
carrying him out.
About that time, the snake came out from under the
sofa and the Emergency Medical Technician saw it and
dropped his end of the stretcher. That's when the man
broke his leg and why he is in the hospital.
The wife still had the problem of the snake in the
house so she called on a neighbor man. He volunteered
to capture the snake. He armed himself with a
rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch.
Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who
sat down on the sofa in relief. But in relaxing, her
hand dangled in between the cushions, where she felt
the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted,
the snake rushed back under the sofa, and the neighbor
man, seeing her laying there passed out, tried to use
CPR to revive her.
The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from
shopping at the grocery store, saw her husband's mouth
on the woman's mouth and slammed her husband in the
back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking
him out and cutting his scalp to the point where it
needed stitches.
The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she
saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife
bending over him, so she assumed he had been bitten by
the snake. She went to the kitchen, brought back a
small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down
the man's throat.
By now the police had arrived. They saw the
unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that
a drunken fight had occurred. They were about to
arrest them all when the two women tried to explain
how it all happened over a little green snake. They
called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and
his sobbing wife.
Just then the little snake crawled out from under the
couch. One of the policemen drew his gun and fired
at it. He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end
table that was on one side of the sofa. The table
fell over and the lamp on it shattered. As the bulb
broke, it started a fire in the drapes.
The other policeman tried to beat out the flames and
fell through the window into the yard on top of the
family dog who, startled, jumped up and raced out into
the street where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it
and smashed into the parked police car and set it on
fire. Meanwhile the burning drapes had spread to the
walls and the entire house was blazing.
Neighbors called the fire department and the arriving
fire truck had started raising his ladder as they were
halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out
the overhead wires, put out the electricity and
disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city block
area.
Time passed --- Both men were discharged from the
hospital, the house was rebuilt, the police acquired a
new car, and all was right with their world.
About a year later, they were watching TV and the
weatherman announced a cold snap for that night. The
husband asked his wife if she thought they should
bring in their plants for the night.
She shot him.