Need Advice

[rangerjim]

Just found out today the wife wants a divorce.

Do I share her lawyer to save money because she says "we can split this up amicably" or get my own lawyer, spend twice as much and truly piss her off and the fight is on.

Pros and cons. May take somewhat of a beating by doing it amicably but take a chance with my own lawyer of prolonging this deal out for a long time and fighting over little crap and spending a ton of money on lawyers.

Neither option is good to me.

Good news though - I'll have more time on my hands for the down low and it's less than 100 days I think till football.

And the other good news is my Cubbies are still in first and on TV alot this summer....................

[kaorder1999]

hate to hear that...will be praying for you.

[GreenMonster]

That depends:

1. Is she leaving for someone else?
A: drag it out as long as possible just to piss her off, besides you might get proof she's messing around and get more of your stuff back.

2. She just wants out, but you don't.
A: try to talk her into councelling and promise you will change (just promise, don't actually make an effort).

3. She just wants out and you do too.
A: same lawyer and stay friends.

4. She's leaving for a woman.
A: ask the other chick to move in and share the "man duties" this way you have more free time and all your stuff.

There are many other scenarios I could think up, but I don't want to be here all night.

[BIG BLUE DEFENSIVE END]

You could give all of your assets to someone you trust in hopes they will return them after the divorce, that way you don't have to give her anything. :)

[zebrablue2]

Originally posted by kaorder1999
hate to hear that...will be praying for you.



:ditto:

[JasperDog94]

Originally posted by kaorder1999
hate to hear that...will be praying for you. Same here.:(

[espn1]

Always get your own Attorney. If there's any sharing to do let her use your Attorney. That way you make the rules. Always stay in control. Always remember to give and take. It does you no good to turn a $ 400 couch into a $1000 one.

[44INAROW]

sure hate to hear that Rangerjim - I would suggest your own attorney but maybe the 4 of you'll can sit down and be adults about it and not spend too much money in the process..

[Ranger Mom]

First of all, I'm sorry!!

I guess I was lucky. When I got my divorce I got a lawyer and he didn't. He let me handle the entire thing. We were living in a house his dad bought, so we didn't have to worry about splitting anything from that.

It was a "no brainer" that I would get the kids.....so he left with his recliner, stereo and his clothes....I got everything else.

And....when my lawyer found out that I was only working part time .... he handled the entire thing pro-bono!!:D

The ex didn't even show up to court on "D-day" and I was in and out in 5 minutes!

[Chief Woodman]

It is a trap....call me

[rangerjim]

The trap thought keeps going through my mind. She wants out - is wounded and bitter. Lots of details but can't share them. Wait for the Jerry Springer show next spring................

I'll be the one with the 3aDownLow t-shirt and missing a few teeth.

[eppy 12]

Originally posted by GreenMonster
That depends:

1. Is she leaving for someone else?
A: drag it out as long as possible just to piss her off, besides you might get proof she's messing around and get more of your stuff back.

2. She just wants out, but you don't.
A: try to talk her into councelling and promise you will change (just promise, don't actually make an effort).

3. She just wants out and you do too.
A: same lawyer and stay friends.

4. She's leaving for a woman.
A: ask the other chick to move in and share the "man duties" this way you have more free time and all your stuff.

There are many other scenarios I could think up, but I don't want to be here all night. regarding #4 you forgot the g-on-g action:clap: overall the pro's and con's are good but still sorry to hear it, never easy no matter how bad the relationship is due to it being an investment of emotions...:(

[GreenMonster]

Originally posted by rangerjim
The trap thought keeps going through my mind. She wants out - is wounded and bitter. Lots of details but can't share them. Wait for the Jerry Springer show next spring................

I'll be the one with the 3aDownLow t-shirt and missing a few teeth.

I feel for you man. It's a crappy thing to have to go through. Good luck. Hopefully my first post on this subject at least made you smile if only for an instant.

[eppy 12]

Originally posted by GreenMonster
I feel for you man. It's a crappy thing to have to go through. Good luck. Hopefully my first post on this subject at least made you smile if only for an instant. :clap:

[pirate4state]

You should always protect yourself -- get a lawyer.

I'm sorry

[ronwx5x]

Originally posted by rangerjim
Just found out today the wife wants a divorce.

Do I share her lawyer to save money because she says "we can split this up amicably" or get my own lawyer, spend twice as much and truly piss her off and the fight is on.

Pros and cons. May take somewhat of a beating by doing it amicably but take a chance with my own lawyer of prolonging this deal out for a long time and fighting over little crap and spending a ton of money on lawyers.

Neither option is good to me.

Good news though - I'll have more time on my hands for the down low and it's less than 100 days I think till football.

And the other good news is my Cubbies are still in first and on TV alot this summer....................

I have to tell you that the 3A Downlow is probably not the place you want to go for marital advice. It's a great place for arguing football but enough said. I've been married for 40 years as of last Sunday and I can assure you I'm still not qualified to tell anyone how they should act or react!
:helpme: :helpme:

[Ranger Mom]

Originally posted by ronwx5x
I have to tell you that the 3A Downlow is probably not the place you want to go for marital advice. It's a great place for arguing football but enough said. I've been married for 40 years as of last Sunday and I can assure you I'm still not qualified to tell anyone how they should act or react!
:helpme: :helpme:

I agree!! We don't have (and don't need to know) any background on the marital discord!!!

For all I know she deserves everything and he nothing......or vice versa!!:)

[CenTexSports]

RM, maybe you could call her and explain that it is not always necessary to eject someone. Maybe he just needs to be benched for a few days.

Rangerjim, one thing I have come to believe, is that if you can possibly do it, is to move on if she leaves you no other options. There are many many many good women out there that want a good man to share time with. Don't rush into something because it feels good but find one that shares your interest and that you can get along with.

[rangerjim]

Thanks for the support from the board. CenTex, I know there's good women out there. In fact, Greenmonster is trying to set me up with two of them.

There's no bad person in this deal, just something that didn't work out. Life goes on........

[Ranger Mom]

Originally posted by rangerjim
Thanks for the support from the board. CenTex, I know there's good women out there. In fact, Greenmonster is trying to set me up with two of them.

There's no bad person in this deal, just something that didn't work out. Life goes on........

Is he trying to pawn his two spinster sisters off again???

:eek:

He did tell you they are siamese twins....didn't he???



**DISCLAIMER**

I in no way mean to insult those who are conjoined!!!!

[crzyjournalist03]

Originally posted by Ranger Mom
Is he trying to pawn his two spinster sisters off again???

:eek:

He did tell you they are siamese twins....didn't he???



**DISCLAIMER**

I in no way mean to insult those who are conjoined!!!!

I heard they come with the tagline:

"Twice the action for half the price!"

[eppy 12]

Originally posted by crzyjournalist03
I heard they come with the tagline:

"Twice the action for half the price!" :eek: :thinking: :clap:

[rangerjim]

Does that mean twice the "happy ending"?

[BIG BLUE DEFENSIVE END]

I could take her out for you.

[BILLYFRED0000]

Originally posted by rangerjim
Just found out today the wife wants a divorce.

Do I share her lawyer to save money because she says "we can split this up amicably" or get my own lawyer, spend twice as much and truly piss her off and the fight is on.

Pros and cons. May take somewhat of a beating by doing it amicably but take a chance with my own lawyer of prolonging this deal out for a long time and fighting over little crap and spending a ton of money on lawyers.

Neither option is good to me.

Good news though - I'll have more time on my hands for the down low and it's less than 100 days I think till football.

And the other good news is my Cubbies are still in first and on TV alot this summer....................

Brother there are pros and cons. I do not know your wife. But if she is asking chances are she has planned this a little and while she says amicably that might not be so. If you have children that complicates the matter. If I were you I would suggest to her to try arbitration that binds and see if she means amicably. An arbiter will cost less and be much less abrasive than a court case. IF she has not already got her ducks lined up she may be willing and you will get fair treatment instead of a lawyer she paid for.

But if she really is bitter, then get a lawyer. I cannot tell you how vicious it can get. And if you have a good heart you will find it difficult to do the things you need to do to protect yourself and your rights in this matter. As a point of law always start in the strongest position you can because this is going to be a negotiation depending on your assets etc. If you are not losing much take the path of least resistance. But if you have something to lose take care of yourself.

I was there once when my oldest two daughters and I were left high and dry by their mother. She said amicable and yada yada after she left me and the kids 7 and 9. Did not even show up to see her girls for 3 months. The kicker is that she had told the girls several months before that I would be leaving.
I filed and blew her carefully laid plans to smithereens. I maintained custody of my girls. My oldest will not even speak to or see her mother. It was brutal because I still loved her but I knew her leaving the kids like that meant that she was messed up. If I had not found out from my oldest (in her diary she showed me when her mother told them and she wrote it down to tell me if things looked bad), I would have been completely blindsided.

[slpybear the bullfan]

What everyone else has suggested is the best idea.

Contact a lawyer, negotiate a fee with him, then use him to protect your interests.

In today's world it is sad, but you have to watch out for your kid's best interests, retirement plans, etc.

I have not been through one, but many of my friends have. They generally started off amicable, but most ended terrible.

good luck, I will remember you in prayer.

[sinton66]

They can get very vicious when the lawyer is THEIRS. All sorts of things you would never suspect can and probably will be be launched at you IN COURT. If counseling or arbitration is out of the question, get your OWN lawyer. Her lawyer is there to protect HER interests, not yours.