Wednesday Story Time

[eppy 12]

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man picks up the phone and begins to talk.
MAN: "Hello."

WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes"

WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure, ...go ahead if you like it."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2008 models. I saw one I really liked."

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "$60,000"

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing...the house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000."

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!

MAN: "Bye, I love you, too."

The man hangs up and asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"

:confused: :thinking: :doh:

[LH Panther Mom]

:evillol: :evillol: :evillol: :clap:

[44INAROW]

A man is stranded on a desert island, all alone for ten years. One day, he sees a speck in the horizon. He thinks to himself, "It's not a ship." The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, "It's not a boat." The speck gets even closer and he thinks, "It's not a raft." Then, out of the surf comes this gorgeous blonde woman, wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She comes up to the guy and says, "How long has it been since you've had a cigarette?"


"Ten years!", he says.


She reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes.


He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag, and says, "Man, oh man! Is that good!"


Then she asked, "How long has it been since you've had a drink of whiskey?"


He replies, "Ten years!"


She reaches over, unzips her waterproof pocket on her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and gives it to him.


He takes a long swig and says, "Wow, that's fantastic!"


Then she starts unzipping a longer zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit and she says to him, "And how long has it been since you've had some real fun?"


And the man replies, "Wow! Don't tell me that you've got golf clubs in there!"

[pirate4state]

HAHAHAHAHA

[BILLYFRED0000]

APPLES & WINE ................

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the
top of the tree.

Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.

Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground
that aren't as good, but easy.

The apples at the top think something is wrong with them,
when in reality, they're amazing.

They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the
one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Now Men.... Men are like a fine wine.

They begin as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the
crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.



thanks for the edit..... I copied and forgot the s word was in there.

[crzyjournalist03]

A woman born with no arms and no legs is laying out on the beach. An elderly man walks by and sees her crying.

He asks, "What's wrong my dear?"

She replies, "I was born with no arms and no legs, so nobody has ever loved me...I've never even had a hug."

Feeling sympathetic, the elderly man stops, gives her a hug, and proceeds on his way.

A few minutes later, a man in his mid thirties walks by and sees the woman crying.

He asks her what's wrong.

She replies, "I was born with no arms and no legs, so nobody has ever loved me...in fact, I've never even been kissed in my life."

Feeling sorry for the woman, the man stops, gives her a peck on the cheek, and proceeds on his way.

Minutes afterwards, a male college student is strolling on the beach and sees the woman crying.

He asks, "What's wrong?"

She responds, "I was born with no arms and no legs, so nobody has ever loved me. I've never been screwed in my life!"

Without saying a word, the guy walks up to her, picks her up in his arms, wades into the water with her, and drops her. As he walks off laughing, he responds to her, "Well, you sure are screwed now!!!"

[waterboy]

Originally posted by crzyjournalist03
A woman born with no arms and no legs is laying out on the beach. An elderly man walks by and sees her crying.

He asks, "What's wrong my dear?"

She replies, "I was born with no arms and no legs, so nobody has ever loved me...I've never even had a hug."

Feeling sympathetic, the elderly man stops, gives her a hug, and proceeds on his way.

A few minutes later, a man in his mid thirties walks by and sees the woman crying.

He asks her what's wrong.

She replies, "I was born with no arms and no legs, so nobody has ever loved me...in fact, I've never even been kissed in my life."

Feeling sorry for the woman, the man stops, gives her a peck on the cheek, and proceeds on his way.

Minutes afterwards, a male college student is strolling on the beach and sees the woman crying.

He asks, "What's wrong?"

She responds, "I was born with no arms and no legs, so nobody has ever loved me. I've never been screwed in my life!"

Without saying a word, the guy walks up to her, picks her up in his arms, wades into the water with her, and drops her. As he walks off laughing, he responds to her, "Well, you sure are screwed now!!!"
Now that's COLD! :tisk: