Men's Rules( Ladies don't get upset it's just for fun)

[Wildcat81]

Finally, the guys side of the story.I mus admit, it's pretty good and a lot of it is really true!

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please
note...these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up,put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends give you.

1.A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one
of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just
do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expectan answer you don't want to hear. If you don't want to know, don't ask.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that,it's like camping.

[jason]

lol...thats good....

[Old No. 7]

Thanks Wildcat81, I enjoyed that. (because it's true) :D :D

[CatWoman]

I'm not a traitor to my gender, but I have to admit those are pretty good. I never knew men could decipher hints. You need to work on that!!!

[JasperDog94]

I wasn't sure whether I was supposed to laugh or treat it as sacred text. I'm still debating...

[Bandera YaYa]

<small>[ January 27, 2004, 02:22 PM: Message edited by: Bandera YaYa ]</small>

[Bandera YaYa]

Oh you silly boy......and what an imagination you have!! :D :D

If having these "rules" make you feel more secure in a woman's world, then go ahead and have them.......but,we women know what's what.

<small>[ January 27, 2004, 02:51 PM: Message edited by: Bandera YaYa ]</small>

[Bandera YaYa]

<small>[ January 27, 2004, 02:19 PM: Message edited by: Bandera YaYa ]</small>

[JasperDog94]

New Rule:

1. Only post things once. If we don't get it the first time, repeating yourself won't make any difference. wink

[Wildcat81]

Man I haven't been called a silly boy in 30 years. :D :D :D :D

[PPHSfan]

1. Contrary to popular belief by the other sex..."I'm sorry, I was wrong, and it will never happen again." are the only 3 lies that men ever tell.

[sinton66]

PPHSfan:
1. Contrary to popular belief by the other sex..."I'm sorry, I was wrong, and it will never happen again." are the only 3 lies that men ever tell.That's not totally true. I can think of at least two more.... :D :D :D

[Ranger Mom]

Sorry girls....but I have to agree with MOST of those "rules"!!

[crzyjournalist03]

my absolute favorite has to be number 1 :D :D :D

[Bandera YaYa]

JasperDog94:
New Rule:

1. Only post things once. If we don't get it the first time, repeating yourself won't make any difference. wink Sorry...

[lepfan]

My husband has a rule he lives by....when it concerns me...just smile and nod :D (cause he knows I am gonna win anyway :rolleyes: )

[Bandera YaYa]

Bandera YaYa:

JasperDog94:
New Rule:

1. Only post things once. If we don't get it the first time, repeating yourself won't make any difference. wink Sorry...Gee, I have had a bad day with my computer at work...we are trying to get high speed internet installed and it just isn't going very well..thus, all my posts got hung up and posted several times...or didn't post at all...SORRY GUYS!! I didn't mean to triple post!!

[JaSpErBuLLdOgDrUmMeRGaL06]

Lol, those were cute and funny :)

[BrahmaMom]

I can verify the accuracy of these, having lived with five males. I quit trying with the toilet seat when I got outnumbered (it just made sense). There is one left off that could save some grief: Socks are cheap. Lose 'em, rip 'em, wear 'em outside, don't bleach 'em till the elastic is ruined--REPLACE THEM regularly. Once I learned this, life was easier!

[BIG BLUE DEFENSIVE END]

I think the toilet seat rule is the best of them all.....its a pain to lower the seat just for ya'll when ya'll don't raise it for us.

[crzyjournalist03]

just one comment regarding the toilet seat thing:

I've never understood the whole big issue regarding it...I mean, any guy who has a good grip on his manhood should be able to aim for a slightly smaller hole without any problems...it's not difficult at all...so what's the point in going to the trouble to raise the seat in the first place (let alone have to put it back again)???

[20dawgz05]

yeah well the toilet seat thing will never change lol... but guys yall just have to face it this is a womans world and thats how it will always be lol... we will always get our way over yall gettin yalls b/c yall cant resist us!!! :p hehe

[SintonFan]

LOL
Those were good. I wonder how long it will be before the woman's rules appear here? :p

<small>[ January 28, 2004, 11:09 PM: Message edited by: SintonFan ]</small>

[JasperDog94]

SintonFan:
LOL
Those were good. I wonder how long it will be before the woman's rules appear here? :p Shhhhhhhhh.... :p

[Ladycat684]

These "rules" as you call them are a laugh and a half but do you really think that ladies are going to pay attention to them at all after all we do think for ourselves ya know :rolleyes:

[Matthew328]

crzyjournalist03:
just one comment regarding the toilet seat thing:

I've never understood the whole big issue regarding it...I mean, any guy who has a good grip on his manhood should be able to aim for a slightly smaller hole without any problems...it's not difficult at all...so what's the point in going to the trouble to raise the seat in the first place (let alone have to put it back again)???All I can say is it is TOUGH to pee when morning wood is around... that hole gets tough to hit LOL LOL

<small>[ January 29, 2004, 10:24 AM: Message edited by: Matthew328 ]</small>

[JasperDog94]

Ladycat684:
These "rules" as you call them are a laugh and a half but do you really think that ladies are going to pay attention to them at all after all we do think for ourselves ya know :rolleyes: Some of these rules are actually good guidelines for a successfull relationship. You might want to re-read them. wink

[westcoast54]

Sinton Fan, this board is not big enough for all the women'e rules!!!

[SintonFan]

westcoast54:
Sinton Fan, this board is not big enough for all the women'e rules!!!You got that right! :D
.
.

JasperDog94:

SintonFan:
LOL
Those were good. I wonder how long it will be before the woman's rules appear here? :p Shhhhhhhhh.... :p ok, I'll be wery, wery quiet... wink

[Old No. 7]

20dawgz05:
yeah well the toilet seat thing will never change lol... but guys yall just have to face it this is a womans world and thats how it will always be lol... we will always get our way over yall gettin yalls b/c yall cant resist us!!! :p hehelol. You learned that lesson to early. :D

[Wildcat81]

Old No. 7:

20dawgz05:
yeah well the toilet seat thing will never change lol... but guys yall just have to face it this is a womans world and thats how it will always be lol... we will always get our way over yall gettin yalls b/c yall cant resist us!!! :p hehelol. You learned that lesson to early. :D Somebody taught her well. :D

[Bandera YaYa]

Matthew328:

crzyjournalist03:
just one comment regarding the toilet seat thing:

I've never understood the whole big issue regarding it...I mean, any guy who has a good grip on his manhood should be able to aim for a slightly smaller hole without any problems...it's not difficult at all...so what's the point in going to the trouble to raise the seat in the first place (let alone have to put it back again)???All I can say is it is TOUGH to pee when morning wood is around... that hole gets tough to hit LOL LOL...morning wood???? I hope you are not saying what I think you are saying...... eek! eek! I hope that is some kind of golfing term...... :rolleyes:
I thought this was a GP-13 site??? :D

<small>[ January 29, 2004, 01:41 PM: Message edited by: Bandera YaYa ]</small>

[Wildcat81]

Bandera YaYa:

Matthew328:

crzyjournalist03:
just one comment regarding the toilet seat thing:

I've never understood the whole big issue regarding it...I mean, any guy who has a good grip on his manhood should be able to aim for a slightly smaller hole without any problems...it's not difficult at all...so what's the point in going to the trouble to raise the seat in the first place (let alone have to put it back again)???All I can say is it is TOUGH to pee when morning wood is around... that hole gets tough to hit LOL LOL...morning wood???? I hope you are not saying what I think you are saying...... eek! eek! I hope that is some kind of golfing term...... :rolleyes:
I thought this was a GP-13 site??? :D you are most likely right.Rated G site sounds better. eek!

[crzyjournalist03]

Matthew328:

crzyjournalist03:
just one comment regarding the toilet seat thing:

I've never understood the whole big issue regarding it...I mean, any guy who has a good grip on his manhood should be able to aim for a slightly smaller hole without any problems...it's not difficult at all...so what's the point in going to the trouble to raise the seat in the first place (let alone have to put it back again)???All I can say is it is TOUGH to pee when morning wood is around... that hole gets tough to hit LOL LOLhe's lucky he's an administrator...otherwise he could get ROMed for this one lol :D wink

[JasperDog94]

Matthew328:

crzyjournalist03:
just one comment regarding the toilet seat thing:

I've never understood the whole big issue regarding it...I mean, any guy who has a good grip on his manhood should be able to aim for a slightly smaller hole without any problems...it's not difficult at all...so what's the point in going to the trouble to raise the seat in the first place (let alone have to put it back again)???All I can say is it is TOUGH to pee when morning wood is around... that hole gets tough to hit LOL LOLYou live near the Cubs pitcher Kerry Wood? Wow. That's pretty cool.
wink :D

[BIG BLUE DEFENSIVE END]

Matthew328:

crzyjournalist03:
just one comment regarding the toilet seat thing:

I've never understood the whole big issue regarding it...I mean, any guy who has a good grip on his manhood should be able to aim for a slightly smaller hole without any problems...it's not difficult at all...so what's the point in going to the trouble to raise the seat in the first place (let alone have to put it back again)???All I can say is it is TOUGH to pee when morning wood is around... that hole gets tough to hit LOL LOLThe man does have a point.......not to mention the fact that you are droopy eyed and half-asleep.

[Ladycat684]

Ladycat684:
These "rules" as you call them are a laugh and a half but do you really think that ladies are going to pay attention to them at all after all we do think for ourselves ya know
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Some of these rules are actually good guidelines for a successfull relationship. You might want to re-read them.
) I agree with that Jasperdog but some of them are a little off the wall but I said what I said to see what kind of response I would get from the guys. I acctually agree with some of them

[dawgdad]

This is DawgMom talking now. After living with a man for twentyfour years, Yes Ladies, That is 2 decades and four years. They're not such bad creatures. As long as you pet them once in awhile. They need rules.