CHS_CG
03-06-2008, 06:05 PM
Subject: Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic?
Following is supposedly an actual question given on a university
chemistry exam.
The answer by one student was so profound that the professor shared it
with
colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the
pleasure
of enjoying it as well.
Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
(gas cools
when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need to
know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which
they are
leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to
Hell, it
will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls
are
entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the
world
today. Most of these religions state: that if you are not a member of
their
religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not
belong
to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth
and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell
to
increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume
in Hell
because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and
pressure in
Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately
as souls
are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all
Hell
breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell,
then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
that,
"It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into
account
the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true,
and thus
I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The
corollary of
this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is
not
accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct ... leaving only
Heaven
thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last
night,
Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God.......Oh my God....."
Following is supposedly an actual question given on a university
chemistry exam.
The answer by one student was so profound that the professor shared it
with
colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the
pleasure
of enjoying it as well.
Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
(gas cools
when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need to
know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which
they are
leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to
Hell, it
will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls
are
entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the
world
today. Most of these religions state: that if you are not a member of
their
religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not
belong
to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth
and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell
to
increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume
in Hell
because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and
pressure in
Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately
as souls
are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all
Hell
breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell,
then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
that,
"It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into
account
the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true,
and thus
I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The
corollary of
this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is
not
accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct ... leaving only
Heaven
thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last
night,
Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God.......Oh my God....."