TexanFan4Life
01-15-2008, 01:18 AM
http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/7675598?MSNHPHMA
If only Terrell Owens' crying jag had come a week ago, he could've won New Hampshire.
He was better than Hillary, sure.
But he was also better than Edmund Muskie, Dick Vermeil and Ellen Degeneres.
In fact, the more you think about it, the "he's my quarterback" bit compares favorably with the guy who defended Britney Spears on Youtube.
By the way, it seems pretty clear that Britney has been studying a lot of Courtney Love game film.
And what are these Cowboys fans crying about? They're in the same position today they were last week: their team hasn't won a playoff game in 13 years.
Kind of bummed that they postponed the hearings in Washington. I mean, Clemens-McNamee was shaping up to be the best Capitol Hill showdown since Anita Hill-Clarence Thomas.
You thought the pubic hair on the Coke can was great? Wait'll you hear about the abscess on Clemens' left butt cheek.
Actually, some things might be just too horrible to imagine.
So what were the odds that Eli would be the only Manning left? Or that Norv Turner and Tom Coughlin would have a shot at the Super Bowl?
If a guy told you that back in October, you'd figure he'd been smoking his allotment of lidocaine.
Gary Shelton of the St. Petersburg Times was good enough to place Clemens' argument in context. You see, the frothing lunatic who threw a shard of a Louisville Slugger at Mike Piazza was telling the truth. But the guy who brought peace to Northern Ireland after centuries, he's the lying dog.
If you're keeping score at home, the best line so far is Clemens saying he can't wait to get into "the private sector."
What, he's been working for the Peace Corps all these years?
Speaking of altruistic enterprises, the Orange County Register recently reported that 22 of the corporate-sponsored bowl games are tax-exempt.
So why is it okay for a grown man who runs around in a canary-yellow blazer with a Tostitos patch to make $415,000 in salary with a ten-year, interest-free loan when guys like Reggie Bush have to take their alleged monies under the table?
I mean, who creates the wealth here?
UCLA athletic director Dan Guerrero knows his new football coach Rick Neuheisel won't ever lie, wager in big money betting pools, or get jammed up for recruiting violations.
And how does he know this?
"I looked Rick in the eye," he said.
Kind of like when Mike Wallace turned to Clemens and said, "Swear?"
I'm not saying Wallace has lost his fastball, just that there might be an opening on "New Year's Rockin' Eve."
Though an irate Isiah Thomas made bodily contact with an NBA official, the NBA refused to suspend him.
After all, the intent was to punish the Knicks coach.
It's not O.J. Mayo's fault he's overrated.
I'd only have a problem with Tony Romo if he wasn't in Cabo with Jessica Simpson during an off-week.
The Jints should vote Tiki a playoff share.
Still trying to figure out how the Nuggets gave up 78 points in a half.
You couldn't do that in a summer league.
Looking forward to Roy Jones-Felix Trinidad. Boxing needs a senior tour.
Got a kick out of Peyton Manning saying how he liked to "stay under the radar." This from a guy shilling for everything except Trojan condoms.
How did I ever miss the Major League Soccer combine?
True Giants Fans can't help it. They're a little despondent this morning, knowing that Father Coughlin is finally due for that extension.
Don't know about this French President knocking up his girlfriend, but look for Sarkozy as an early entry in the Breeder's Cup.
The Celtics may have reached 30 wins in fewer games than any team in NBA history, but the best story to come out of Boston this season is The Assist by Neil Swidey.
Read it. Learn something.
At this very moment, T.O. is watching a DVD of "Brian's Song," telling himself, "Billy Dee got nothing on me."
Tony Romo was a friend of mine.
If only Terrell Owens' crying jag had come a week ago, he could've won New Hampshire.
He was better than Hillary, sure.
But he was also better than Edmund Muskie, Dick Vermeil and Ellen Degeneres.
In fact, the more you think about it, the "he's my quarterback" bit compares favorably with the guy who defended Britney Spears on Youtube.
By the way, it seems pretty clear that Britney has been studying a lot of Courtney Love game film.
And what are these Cowboys fans crying about? They're in the same position today they were last week: their team hasn't won a playoff game in 13 years.
Kind of bummed that they postponed the hearings in Washington. I mean, Clemens-McNamee was shaping up to be the best Capitol Hill showdown since Anita Hill-Clarence Thomas.
You thought the pubic hair on the Coke can was great? Wait'll you hear about the abscess on Clemens' left butt cheek.
Actually, some things might be just too horrible to imagine.
So what were the odds that Eli would be the only Manning left? Or that Norv Turner and Tom Coughlin would have a shot at the Super Bowl?
If a guy told you that back in October, you'd figure he'd been smoking his allotment of lidocaine.
Gary Shelton of the St. Petersburg Times was good enough to place Clemens' argument in context. You see, the frothing lunatic who threw a shard of a Louisville Slugger at Mike Piazza was telling the truth. But the guy who brought peace to Northern Ireland after centuries, he's the lying dog.
If you're keeping score at home, the best line so far is Clemens saying he can't wait to get into "the private sector."
What, he's been working for the Peace Corps all these years?
Speaking of altruistic enterprises, the Orange County Register recently reported that 22 of the corporate-sponsored bowl games are tax-exempt.
So why is it okay for a grown man who runs around in a canary-yellow blazer with a Tostitos patch to make $415,000 in salary with a ten-year, interest-free loan when guys like Reggie Bush have to take their alleged monies under the table?
I mean, who creates the wealth here?
UCLA athletic director Dan Guerrero knows his new football coach Rick Neuheisel won't ever lie, wager in big money betting pools, or get jammed up for recruiting violations.
And how does he know this?
"I looked Rick in the eye," he said.
Kind of like when Mike Wallace turned to Clemens and said, "Swear?"
I'm not saying Wallace has lost his fastball, just that there might be an opening on "New Year's Rockin' Eve."
Though an irate Isiah Thomas made bodily contact with an NBA official, the NBA refused to suspend him.
After all, the intent was to punish the Knicks coach.
It's not O.J. Mayo's fault he's overrated.
I'd only have a problem with Tony Romo if he wasn't in Cabo with Jessica Simpson during an off-week.
The Jints should vote Tiki a playoff share.
Still trying to figure out how the Nuggets gave up 78 points in a half.
You couldn't do that in a summer league.
Looking forward to Roy Jones-Felix Trinidad. Boxing needs a senior tour.
Got a kick out of Peyton Manning saying how he liked to "stay under the radar." This from a guy shilling for everything except Trojan condoms.
How did I ever miss the Major League Soccer combine?
True Giants Fans can't help it. They're a little despondent this morning, knowing that Father Coughlin is finally due for that extension.
Don't know about this French President knocking up his girlfriend, but look for Sarkozy as an early entry in the Breeder's Cup.
The Celtics may have reached 30 wins in fewer games than any team in NBA history, but the best story to come out of Boston this season is The Assist by Neil Swidey.
Read it. Learn something.
At this very moment, T.O. is watching a DVD of "Brian's Song," telling himself, "Billy Dee got nothing on me."
Tony Romo was a friend of mine.