Lose weight with the Purina Diet

[sinton66]

(joke)
Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer.

Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for Athena the wonder dog, at Wal-Mart and was about to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again. Although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the foods nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard.

WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore!!!

[Ranger Mom]

:D :D :clap: :clap: :clap:

[crzyjournalist03]

why won't Wal-Mart let you shop there anymore? You didn't do anything wrong as far as I can tell.

EDIT: didn't see that it was joke

[nobogey72]

Another Wal-Mart story.

My wife and I were wanting to join a church that we had been visiting for about a month, but to join we had to have a meeting with the minister. He told us that to prove our committment to the church aspiring members had to take a vow of abstainance (sp?) for 30 days to even apply for membership. After 2 weeks we went back in to see the minister. He asked how it was going, and I told him that the first week went just fine, but long about the end of the second week, I lost it. I told him how one day she had bent over to pick something off of the floor and that was all I could take and I broke the vow right there in the middle of the floor. He said, "Well, I'm sorry, but you can't come back to this church." I said, "That's what I figured, we can't go back in that Wal-Mart either.":inlove: :inlove:

[BIG BLUE DEFENSIVE END]

I didn't see that it was a joke either. I was about to have a new-found respect for you Tony, you should have just went with it. :D

[nobogey72]

Is the Irish Setter OK?

[jimmyceatworld]

LOL

[mwynn05]

Thats is GREATNESS

[KingRob]

I'd think things would've gotten ugly once you started marking you territory!:)