Female Rules

[bearcat1]

1.The female makes the rules.
2.The rules are subject to change by the female at any time without prior notification.
3.No male can possibly know all the rules. Attempts to document the rules are not permitted.
4.If the female suspects that the male may know some or all of the rules, she must immediately change some or all of the rules.
5.The female is never wrong.
6.If the female is wrong, it is because of a misunderstanding, which was the direct result of something the male did, said, did not do,
or did not say.
7.If rule 6 is invoked, the male must apologize immediately for having been the cause of the misunderstanding without any clues from the female
as to what he did to have caused the misunderstanding. See rule 13.
8.The female may change her mind at any time for any reason or no reason at all.
9.The male is never permitted to change his mind or under circumstances without the express written consent of the female which is given only in
cases where the female wanted him to change his mind but gave no indication of that wish. See rules 6, 7, 12, and 13.
10.The female has the right to be angry or upset for any reason, real or imagined, at any time and under any circumstance which in her sole
judgement she deems appropriate. The male is not to be given any sign of the root cause of the female's being angry or upset. The female may,
however, give false or misleading reasons to see if the male is paying attention. See rule 13.
11.The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be angry or upset.
12.Under no circumstances may the female give the male any clue or indication whether or why she wants him to be angry or upset.
13.The male is expected to read the mind of the female at all times. Failure to do so will result in punishments and penalties imposed at the
sole discretion of the female.
14.The female may, at any time and for any reason, resurrect any past incident without regard to temporal or spacial distance, and modify,
enlarge, embellish, of wholly reconstruct it in order to demonstrate to the male that he is now or has in the past been wrong, insensitive,
or deceitful.
15.The female may use her interpretation of any past occurrence to illustrate the ways in which the male has failed to accord her the
consideration, respect, devotion, or material possessions, he has bestowed on other females, domestic pets or barnyard animals, sports
teams, automobiles, motorcycles, boats, aircraft, or coworkers. Such illustrations are non-rebuttable.
16.If the female is experiencing PMS, Post-PMS, or Pre-PMS, the female is permitted to exhibit any manner of behaviors she wishes without regard to
logical consistency or accepted norms of human behavior.
17.Any act, deed, word, expression, statement, utterance, thought, opinion, or belief by the male is subject to the sole, subjective interpretation of the female, other external factors not-withstanding. Alibis, excuses, explanations, defenses, reasons, extenuations, or
rationalizations will not be entertained. Abject please for mercy and forgiveness are acceptable under some circumstances, especially when accompanied by tangible evidence of contrition.

bc

[BHKrystal06]

I like #1, #5, #10, and #13 the best!

[SintonFan]

eek! eek! The female is a lawyer!

[Brahma73]

Damn hormones.... eek!

[spaniard]

some peoples mom's/wives/sisters/aunts/etc. :rolleyes: hehe, i guess us guys had that coming, except our list made sense...all of it :mad: :D

[SintonFan]

spaniard:
some peoples mom's/wives/sisters/aunts/etc. :rolleyes: hehe, i guess us guys had that coming, except our list made sense...all of it :mad: :D .
Yes, the guys list did make sense. This list was made by a female lawyer. eek!
That's just not right! I'm gonna call a guy's guy lawyer right now... :p

[Wildcat81]

I like the men rules better we guys have to stick
together.

[onfirebball05mustang]

Ouch! Are we REALLY THAT bad? I guess you'll just have to read my mind!!!

[RPM]

bearcat1:
1.The female makes the rules.
The male breaks the rules

[RPM]

bearcat1:

2.The rules are subject to change by the female at any time without prior notification.
Of course they do. As hardheaded as women are why wouldnt they.

[RPM]

bearcat1:
3.No male can possibly know all the rules. Attempts to document the rules are not permitted.
Your right we dont know all the rules because women cant seem to make up there mind. We dont like to right down notes anyways.

[RPM]

bearcat1:
4.If the female suspects that the male may know some or all of the rules, she must immediately change some or all of the rules.
Clearly supporting my theory about them changing there mind all the time. Even though they find out we discovered the rules they dont like to admit it.

[RPM]

bearcat1:

5.The female is never wrong.
Or at least they think there never wrong sometimes we just let it pass so they can just close there mouths. Its alot easier instead of thinking of another rule.

[RPM]

bearcat1:
6.If the female is wrong, it is because of a misunderstanding, which was the direct result of something the male did, said, did not do,
or did not say.
Its because of the dam cell phone the women picked. Can u hear me know. chicken stew OH! I thought u said BBQ

[RPM]

bearcat1:

7.If rule 6 is invoked, the male must apologize immediately for having been the cause of the misunderstanding without any clues from the female
as to what he did to have caused the misunderstanding. See rule 13.
have u noticed that when men apologize we have one hand in our pocket. thats because we cross our fingers hopeing to sleep in the couch and watch tv all night long. See rule 1 on mens thread.

[RPM]

bearcat1:
8.The female may change her mind at any time for any reason or no reason at all.
You hinted that on rule 2 and 4 already blah blah blah

[RPM]

bearcat1:
9.The male is never permitted to change his mind or under circumstances without the express written consent of the female which is given only in
cases where the female wanted him to change his mind but gave no indication of that wish. See rules 6, 7, 12, and 13.
To much reading no pictures.

[Jacket2000]

bearcat1:
1.The female makes the rules.
2.The rules are subject to change by the female at any time without prior notification.
3.No male can possibly know all the rules. Attempts to document the rules are not permitted.
4.If the female suspects that the male may know some or all of the rules, she must immediately change some or all of the rules.
5.The female is never wrong.
6.If the female is wrong, it is because of a misunderstanding, which was the direct result of something the male did, said, did not do,
or did not say.
7.If rule 6 is invoked, the male must apologize immediately for having been the cause of the misunderstanding without any clues from the female
as to what he did to have caused the misunderstanding. See rule 13.
8.The female may change her mind at any time for any reason or no reason at all.
9.The male is never permitted to change his mind or under circumstances without the express written consent of the female which is given only in
cases where the female wanted him to change his mind but gave no indication of that wish. See rules 6, 7, 12, and 13.
10.The female has the right to be angry or upset for any reason, real or imagined, at any time and under any circumstance which in her sole
judgement she deems appropriate. The male is not to be given any sign of the root cause of the female's being angry or upset. The female may,
however, give false or misleading reasons to see if the male is paying attention. See rule 13.
11.The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be angry or upset.
12.Under no circumstances may the female give the male any clue or indication whether or why she wants him to be angry or upset.
13.The male is expected to read the mind of the female at all times. Failure to do so will result in punishments and penalties imposed at the
sole discretion of the female.
14.The female may, at any time and for any reason, resurrect any past incident without regard to temporal or spacial distance, and modify,
enlarge, embellish, of wholly reconstruct it in order to demonstrate to the male that he is now or has in the past been wrong, insensitive,
or deceitful.
15.The female may use her interpretation of any past occurrence to illustrate the ways in which the male has failed to accord her the
consideration, respect, devotion, or material possessions, he has bestowed on other females, domestic pets or barnyard animals, sports
teams, automobiles, motorcycles, boats, aircraft, or coworkers. Such illustrations are non-rebuttable.
16.If the female is experiencing PMS, Post-PMS, or Pre-PMS, the female is permitted to exhibit any manner of behaviors she wishes without regard to
logical consistency or accepted norms of human behavior.
17.Any act, deed, word, expression, statement, utterance, thought, opinion, or belief by the male is subject to the sole, subjective interpretation of the female, other external factors not-withstanding. Alibis, excuses, explanations, defenses, reasons, extenuations, or
rationalizations will not be entertained. Abject please for mercy and forgiveness are acceptable under some circumstances, especially when accompanied by tangible evidence of contrition.

bcThe sad part about this is that y'all think this is a joke! But she really means it! LOL :D
J2K

[RPM]

bearcat1:
10.The female has the right to be angry or upset for any reason, real or imagined, at any time and under any circumstance which in her sole
judgement she deems appropriate. The male is not to be given any sign of the root cause of the female's being angry or upset. The female may,
however, give false or misleading reasons to see if the male is paying attention. See rule 13.
female:Im a fat?
male:no!
Female:Liar! your just saying that
male:ok, maybe just a little
Female: your so mean
male:"confused" Im I sleeping in the couch :D

[RPM]

bearcat1:

11.The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be angry or upset.
Its a year round thing of being angry and upset when a women cant make up her mind.

[RPM]

bearcat1:

12.Under no circumstances may the female give the male any clue or indication whether or why she wants him to be angry or upset.
Dont be asking for opinions when were both shopping at victoria secrets. Common sense and studies show that well you know.....LOL

[RPM]

bearcat1:
13.The male is expected to read the mind of the female at all times. Failure to do so will result in punishments and penalties imposed at the
sole discretion of the female.
Reading the mind of a female takes research and possibly doctors prescription.

[RPM]

bearcat1:

14.The female may, at any time and for any reason, resurrect any past incident without regard to temporal or spacial distance, and modify,
enlarge, embellish, of wholly reconstruct it in order to demonstrate to the male that he is now or has in the past been wrong, insensitive,
or deceitful.
Women! They can never get over the past. Why am I not surprised.

<small>[ January 30, 2004, 02:19 PM: Message edited by: RPM ]</small>

[RPM]

bearcat1:
15.The female may use her interpretation of any past occurrence to illustrate the ways in which the male has failed to accord her the
consideration, respect, devotion, or material possessions, he has bestowed on other females, domestic pets or barnyard animals, sports
teams, automobiles, motorcycles, boats, aircraft, or coworkers. Such illustrations are non-rebuttable.I swear the cat was already dead when I backed out.

<small>[ January 30, 2004, 02:30 PM: Message edited by: RPM ]</small>

[RPM]

bearcat1:

16.If the female is experiencing PMS, Post-PMS, or Pre-PMS, the female is permitted to exhibit any manner of behaviors she wishes without regard to
logical consistency or accepted norms of human behavior.
males have already figured out the average PMS last a week not YEAR ROUND!

[RPM]

bearcat1:

17.Any act, deed, word, expression, statement, utterance, thought, opinion, or belief by the male is subject to the sole, subjective interpretation of the female, other external factors not-withstanding. Alibis, excuses, explanations, defenses, reasons, extenuations, or
rationalizations will not be entertained. Abject please for mercy and forgiveness are acceptable under some circumstances, especially when accompanied by tangible evidence of contrition.
We talking about Females or psychos here

[RPM]

I finally found a women one day who likes to talk about a matter of diff. in opinions. I havent slept in the couch in 4 years. And if the day ever came..... well it wont cause its my house, says so in the contract. LOL

[Bandera YaYa]

RPM:

bearcat1:


have u noticed that when men apologize we have one hand in our pocket. thats because we cross our fingers hopeing to sleep in the couch and watch tv all night long. See rule 1 on mens thread.....oh sure, that's what you are doing with that hand..... wink wink :D

[RPM]

Did I say which pocket.... wink

[20dawgz05]

Bandera YaYa:

RPM:

bearcat1:


have u noticed that when men apologize we have one hand in our pocket. thats because we cross our fingers hopeing to sleep in the couch and watch tv all night long. See rule 1 on mens thread.....oh sure, that's what you are doing with that hand..... wink wink :D LMAO!!! :p

[RPM]

Wildcat81:
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.:D

[poncho]

Guys just remember woman are from venus and men are from mars....Whatever that means, I'm about to read the book. :cool:

[bearcat1]

Jacket2000:

The sad part about this is that y'all think this is a joke! But she really means it! LOL :D
J2KOh be quiet. You're happy and you know it. :D

bc

[20dawgz05]

bearcat1:

Jacket2000:

The sad part about this is that y'all think this is a joke! But she really means it! LOL :D
J2KOh be quiet. You're happy and you know it. :D

bcisnt that a song u learned when u were little... but it said if your happy and you know it clap your hands...... lol anyways i agree with all those rules but u forgot the one about a girl can never go to the bathroom by herself lol... WE CANT AND NO ONE KNOWS WHY!!!!

[bearcat1]

Bandera YaYa
...oh sure, that's what you are doing with that hand..... wink wink :D [/QB]LOL

bc

[Knightmoon]

" blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,blah...blah."

"Oh, I'm sorry dear, Did you say something"?

[Bandera YaYa]

"blah"

"Oh, I'm sorry honey...did you want something??"
:D

<small>[ January 31, 2004, 09:31 PM: Message edited by: Bandera YaYa ]</small>

[Jacket2000]

bearcat1:

Jacket2000:

The sad part about this is that y'all think this is a joke! But she really means it! LOL :D
J2KOh be quiet. You're happy and you know it. :D

bcYes dear, I am. And if I ever get confused about that, I can just refer to rules 1, 5 and 9.
J2K

[SintonFan]

Jacket2000:

bearcat1:

Jacket2000:

The sad part about this is that y'all think this is a joke! But she really means it! LOL :D
J2KOh be quiet. You're happy and you know it. :D

bcYes dear, I am. And if I ever get confused about that, I can just refer to rules 1, 5 and 9.
J2K.
Now I know Jacket is on vacation and bearcat has his password. :D
Oh the humanity! :p

[sinton66]

Nah, he's just playing like he agrees with all that stuff. I think I know better! :D :D :D

[bearcat1]

bc=pants wearer :D

LOL

[sinton66]

bearcat1:
bc=pants wearer :D

LOLUh huh. Prolly shouldn't rub it in, girl! :D

[bearcat1]

sinton66:

bearcat1:
bc=pants wearer :D

LOLUh huh. Prolly shouldn't rub it in, girl! :D Hey it's ok, he doesn't get home til 10 and I can delete this before then LOL.

bc

[sinton66]

You have to enlist a promise from everybody not to tell. You know I'm cool, but what about all these other "witnesses"? :D :D :D

[bearcat1]

sinton66:
You have to enlist a promise from everybody not to tell. You know I'm cool, but what about all these other "witnesses"? :D :D :D LOL Okay. But, I think we're the only ones here reading.

bc

[sinton66]

You could be right, except for Kyle.

[SintonFan]

LOL
Nope, I'm reading too.

[3afan2K3]

sinton66:
You could be right, except for Kyle.For some reason I seem to click on this topic, I didnt even read the first post
.

.

P.S. Get it 66

<small>[ February 03, 2004, 09:56 PM: Message edited by: 3afan2K3 ]</small>

[Bandera YaYa]

...me too!! :D

[Jacket2000]

bearcat1:
bc=pants wearer :D

LOLIs that a fact? Well babe, since you're suddenly wearin' the pants, I reckon you can wear the tool belt right along with'em.
J2K

[sinton66]

Uh oh, BUSTED! :D