PDA

View Full Version : Headlines From The Year 2029



BobcatBenny
09-27-2007, 12:35 PM
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia , form er ly known as California . White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iraq , Afghanistan , Syria and Lebanon ).

Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica .

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals, violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.

Gobbla2001
09-27-2007, 12:39 PM
France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica

that's freakin' halarious... not really because France is taken over, but because it's freaking FAR AWAY Jamaica...

CLASSICNESSTION!!!

DU_stud04
09-27-2007, 12:40 PM
wow, this sounds like something i would write up....why didnt i???

nice post

pirate4state
09-27-2007, 01:16 PM
Originally posted by DU_stud04
wow, this sounds like something i would write up....why didnt i???

nice post

you were probably sober :p

SUPERMANN5107
09-27-2007, 10:41 PM
Originally posted by BobcatBenny
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia , form er ly known as California . White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.



Ain't that the truth...this maybe sooner than 2029

BILLYFRED0000
09-27-2007, 11:42 PM
Benny where did you come up with this stuff.

Hilarious......:clap: :clap:

lakers
09-27-2007, 11:44 PM
where did u find that???
that is freakin hilarious......:clap:

burnet44
09-28-2007, 12:25 AM
Originally posted by BobcatBenny


Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.



1. We aint that lucky
2. we aint that lucky

BobcatBenny
09-28-2007, 12:28 AM
I had a friend send it to me. It is not original and normally I do not pass junk on or even read it, but this stuff was pretty good.