For Men Only! Dont look ladies!!!

[STANG RED]

Men strike back!

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
Them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to
Build up the required pressure.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told
-------------------------------------------------------------------
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
-------------------------------------------------------------------

[big daddy russ]

ROFL. Seen it before, but don't mind seeing it again.

[crzyjournalist03]

Originally posted by big daddy russ
ROFL. Seen it before, but don't mind seeing it again.

that's what she said. ;)

funny stuff!

[STANG RED]

Originally posted by big daddy russ
ROFL. Seen it before, but don't mind seeing it again.

I had seen some of these before, but some were new to me, so I figured some would be new to others as well. Anyway, if you hadnt seen them in a while they are very funny.

[Old Green]

Good one Stang Red:clap:
So far the women have not posted on it.:p :D

[pirate4state]

Originally posted by Old Green
Good one Stang Red:clap:
So far the women have not posted on it.:p :D

He didn't want us to look, but I'm sure he knows most of us find these just as funny!! I do anyway. Also, because we know Stang Red would NEVER treat his wife this way!!! :p :p

[STANG RED]

Originally posted by Old Green
Good one Stang Red:clap:
So far the women have not posted on it.:p :D

It's because they were told not to look, and their doing what they were told, Im sure. :devil:

[sweetwater07]

Originally posted by STANG RED
It's because they were told not to look, and their doing what they were told, Im sure. :devil:



hahaha i just about fell out of my chair on the first few

[pirate4state]

Originally posted by STANG RED
It's because they were told not to look, and their doing what they were told, Im sure. :devil:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[Old Green]

Originally posted by pirate4state
He didn't want us to look, but I'm sure he knows most of us find these just as funny!! I do anyway. Also, because we know Stang Red would NEVER treat his wife this way!!! :p :p I know he wouldn't, but I knew you would look. lol:p

[pirate4state]

Originally posted by Old Green
I know he wouldn't, but I knew you would look. lol:p Heck ya! If someone tells me not to look, I look :D

He should have titled it "basketball stuff" ;)

[Ranger Mom]

Originally posted by pirate4state
He didn't want us to look, but I'm sure he knows most of us find these just as funny!! I do anyway. Also, because we know Stang Red would NEVER treat his wife this way!!! :p :p

Heck no he wouldn't!! :hand:

[Bearkat]

Originally posted by STANG RED
Men strike back!


-------------------------------------------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
-------------------------------------------------------------------

-------------------------------------------------------------------



:clap: Isn't this the truth!!!:D

[DaHop72]

Originally posted by Ranger Mom
Heck no he wouldn't!! :hand: If he did she would kick his rear. She's small, but wiry.:D

[Ranger Mom]

Originally posted by STANG RED

I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
-

This one is my favorite...because it's so true!!:D

[luvhoops34]

Originally posted by STANG RED
It's because they were told not to look, and their doing what they were told, Im sure. :devil:

I KNOW you're not talking about me...:devil:

[Phantom Stang]

Waylon Jennings & Tompall Glaser

Put another log on the fire
Cook me up some bacon and some beans
And go out to the car and change the tire
Wash my socks and sew my old blue jeans.

Come on baby you can fill my pipe and then go fetch my slippers
And boil me up another pot of tea
Then put another log on the fire babe
And come and tell me why you're leaving me.

Now don't I let you wash the car on Sunday
And don't I warn you when you're gettin' fat
Ain't I a gonna take you fishin' with me someday
Well, a man can't love a woman more than that.

Ain't I always nice to your kid sister
Don't I take her driving every night
So sit here at my feet cause I like you when you're sweet
And you know it ain't feminine to fight.

So put another log on the fire...

[Sweetwater Red]

Originally posted by STANG RED
Men strike back!

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
Them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to
Build up the required pressure.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told
-------------------------------------------------------------------
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
-------------------------------------------------------------------

I think I'm beginning to understand why I'm divorced.:doh:

[Old Green]

Stang red, your thread has been invaded:devil: :D

[STANG RED]

Originally posted by DaHop72
If he did she would kick his rear. She's small, but wiry.:D

I'm just feeling a little frisky. She's going to visit her sisters, so I'm on my own for the next few days. :cheerl: :smoker: :thumbsup: :crazy1: :evillol:
And your all invited to the keg party after the game on Friday. There will be dancin girls, beer drinkin, cigar smoking, and poker playin going on at the STANG RED house, while Mrs. STANG RED is away.
Oh, but you all have to be gone by 11:00 pm.:( Thats about the time she usually calls to check up on me, and it's my mandetory bedtime anyway.:D

[STANG RED]

Originally posted by Old Green
Stang red, your thread has been invaded:devil: :D

It was never a question of if, but rather how long it would take.
Didnt take long did it?
Wicked women on dlow!!!:devil:

[DaHop72]

Originally posted by STANG RED

Oh, but you all have to be gone by 11:00 pm.:( Thats about the time she usually calls to check up on me, and it's my mandetory bedtime anyway.:D :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:

[burnet44]

Did Roy Williams say that?

[pirate4state]

Originally posted by STANG RED
I'm just feeling a little frisky. She's going to visit her sisters, so I'm on my own for the next few days. :cheerl: :smoker: :thumbsup: :crazy1: :evillol:
And your all invited to the keg party after the game on Friday. There will be dancin girls, beer drinkin, cigar smoking, and poker playin going on at the STANG RED house, while Mrs. STANG RED is away.
Oh, but you all have to be gone by 11:00 pm.:( Thats about the time she usually calls to check up on me, and it's my mandetory bedtime anyway.:D

Well great where were you on the 15th??? :mad: ;)

[STANG RED]

Originally posted by pirate4state
Well great where were you on the 15th??? :mad: ;)
Flying back from Biloxi Mississippi. Didnt get in till nearly 10 that night. Sure hated missing a chance to meet n greet with everyone.

[pirate4state]

Originally posted by STANG RED
Flying back from Biloxi Mississippi. Didnt get in till nearly 10 that night. Sure hated missing a chance to meet n greet with everyone. I suppose that's a good excuse. :D You may not have wanted G2 at your house though, he makes such a mess!! :eek: :eek:

[STANG RED]

Originally posted by pirate4state
I suppose that's a good excuse. :D You may not have wanted G2 at your house though, he makes such a mess!! :eek: :eek:
Not a problem. The little wifey would have just cleaned it up with all the new cleaning supplies I just bought for her for her birthday. I still cant believe she had already ran out of all that stuff since the previous supply I had gotten her for our 25th anniversary. Wasteful winch.;)

[pirate4state]

Originally posted by STANG RED
Not a problem. The little wifey would have just cleaned it up with all the new cleaning supplies I just bought for her for her birthday. I still cant believe she had already ran out of all that stuff since the previous supply I had gotten her for our 25th anniversary. Wasteful winch.;)

HAHAHA

[CHS_CG]

My boss just got a big kick out of that!