Gsquared
07-26-2007, 11:49 AM
posted on 7-26-07 at 05:07 PM
MAN BANNED FROM WAL MART!
Man Banned From Wal-Mart.
This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.
DON'T TAKE ME IF I DON'T WANT TO GO...........
After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton
insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to
Wal-Mart.
Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men -- he
found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get
out.
Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most
women -- she loved to browse.
One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from
her local Wal-Mart.
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband has been
causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot
tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both
of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr.
Fenton are listed below and are documented by our
video surveillance cameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put
them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to
go off at 5 minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor
leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in
an official voice, "Code 3 in Housewares - get on it
right away."
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put
a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to
a carpeted area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping
department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in
if they would bring pillows and blankets from the
bedding department.
8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help
him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you
people just leave me alone?"
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera
and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting
department, he asked the clerk where the
antidepressants were.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously
while loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced
his "Madonna look" by using different sizes of
funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when
people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the
loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed
"OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"
And last, but not least,
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the
door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey!
There's no toilet paper in here!"
Regards,
Wal-Mart
MAN BANNED FROM WAL MART!
Man Banned From Wal-Mart.
This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.
DON'T TAKE ME IF I DON'T WANT TO GO...........
After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton
insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to
Wal-Mart.
Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men -- he
found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get
out.
Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most
women -- she loved to browse.
One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from
her local Wal-Mart.
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband has been
causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot
tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both
of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr.
Fenton are listed below and are documented by our
video surveillance cameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put
them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to
go off at 5 minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor
leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in
an official voice, "Code 3 in Housewares - get on it
right away."
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put
a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to
a carpeted area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping
department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in
if they would bring pillows and blankets from the
bedding department.
8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help
him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you
people just leave me alone?"
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera
and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting
department, he asked the clerk where the
antidepressants were.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously
while loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced
his "Madonna look" by using different sizes of
funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when
people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the
loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed
"OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"
And last, but not least,
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the
door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey!
There's no toilet paper in here!"
Regards,
Wal-Mart