Funny quotes from Vacation movies...

[kaorder1999]

Vacation

Clark: Could I do your back, honey?
Ellen Griswold: I've already done my back.
Clark: Could I do your front?
Ellen Griswold: Go do your own front.


European Vacation

Rusty Griswold: [watching the romantic couple make out at the table] Dad he's grabbing her boobs right there at the table!
Clark Griswold: Just eat your breakfast, Russ.
Rusty Griswold: [Rusty still watching the couple] ... Dad, I think he's gonna pork her.
Clark Griswold: He's not gonna pork her, Russ.
Rusty Griswold: I think he's gonna.
Clark Griswold: He may pork her, finish your breakfast.

Christman Vacation

Clark: Hey. If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey pooh he is. Hallelujah. Holy crap. Where's the Tylenol?

Vegas Vacation

Marty: You don't know when to quit, do ya Griswold?... Here's an idea: Why don't you give me half the money your were gonna to bet, then we'll go out back, I'll kick you in the nuts, and we'll call it a day!

Cousin Eddie: I haven't seen a beatin' like that since somebody stuck a banana in my pants and turned a monkey loose.
Clark Griswold: Thanks for the pick me up Eddie.

[kaorder1999]

Here is the original Audrey!


http://www.80sreborn.com/images/vacation-1.jpg

http://hollywoodiscalling.com/celebrity_photos/dbarron.jpg

[DDBooger]

Clark: real tomato ketchup eddie?
Cousin Eddie: nothing but the best

[TexasHSFootball]

Aunt Edna: ... he shouldn't even have a license to drive an automobile.. he should be behind bars! dog killer!

Ellen: Aunt Edna get in the car its hot and dangerous out here. (with fist in Edna's face) sit down and shut up! move out of that seat and i will split your lip. (car door slams)

[g$$]

What's Eddie's line about his son working for the carnival? Something about guessing people's weight, etc. "College? No, carnival..."

Help me out...good stuff.

[injuredinmelee]

Aunt Edna's prayer in Christmas Vacation is one of my favorites.

[Phantom Stang]

From Christmas Vacation....

Cousin Eddie: He's cute ain't he? Only problem is, he's got a little bit a Mississippi Leg Hound in him. If the mood catches him rite, he'll grab your leg and just go to town. You don't want him around if your wearing short pants, if you know what I mean. Word of warning though, if he does lay into ya, it's best to just let him finish.:eek:

[Bull Butter]

Eddie's Daughter: "I french kiss now"
Audrey: "So what, a lot of girls french kiss"
Eddie's Daughter: "Yeah, but Daddy says I'm the best in the county"

[Phantom Stang]

Clark:
"We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny ****ing Kaye."

[3&2count]

Ellen: What are you looking at?
Clark: Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn... the clean, cool chill of the holiday air... an asshole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer...
[Eddie, in the driveway, is draining the RV's toilet]
Eddie: Crapper was full.
Clark: Ah, yeah. You checked our crappers, honey?
Ellen: Clark, please. He doesn't know any better.
Clark: He oughta know it's illegal. That's a storm sewer. If it fills with gas, I pity the person who lights a match within ten yards of it.