Angeleyes
05-17-2007, 11:24 AM
Amazingly Simple Home Remedies
1. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock,
will prevent you from rolling over and going back to
sleep after you hit the snooze button.
2. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of
laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
3. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing
vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
4. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the
toilet seat by simply using the sink.
5. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut
yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the
pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
6. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a
hammer and you will forget about the toothache.
Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules
of life really are:
You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape.
If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40.
If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
Remember:
* Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
* Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
* If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.
And finally, be really nice to your family and
friends; you never know when you might need them to
empty your bedpan.
PPS: Silence is golden...
Duct tape is silver
1. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock,
will prevent you from rolling over and going back to
sleep after you hit the snooze button.
2. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of
laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
3. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing
vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
4. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the
toilet seat by simply using the sink.
5. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut
yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the
pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
6. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a
hammer and you will forget about the toothache.
Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules
of life really are:
You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape.
If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40.
If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
Remember:
* Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
* Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
* If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.
And finally, be really nice to your family and
friends; you never know when you might need them to
empty your bedpan.
PPS: Silence is golden...
Duct tape is silver