burnet44
05-01-2007, 12:00 PM
National Football Leaugue
280 Park Avenue
New York, NY 10017
Simply scrawling "Tha NFL" in crayon on an envelope is not sufficient to ensure that the proper personnel will receive your correspondence.
While we encourage you to consult with National Football League management on any and all concerns in the future, we must take issue with certain aspects of your letter.
First, we do not feel that women, nor your anger management counselor, would appreciate your referring to exotic dancers in Las Vegas as "triflin hos." The development of a fundamental respect for women will be critical in your maturation process. Also, we do not condone the use of the phrases "slampiece" or "cooch." If "pudding hatch" means what we think it might, then you are forbidden from using that phrase as well.
We do not feel that placing blame on "mark a$$ snitches" is the proper line of thought. You are a grown man, Mr. Jones, and your willingness to place yourself in questionable situations has led to your ultimate undoing. The continued misdirection of your anger will only serve to perpetuate your troublesome behavior and heighten your hatred for so-called "b**** a$$ punk b******."
The concluding paragraph was largely illegible, as it was smeared in what appeared to be honey mustard dressing and Doritos residue.
We have decided to respectfully decline your appeal of your 2007 season suspension. We have, however, added the requirement of anger management training, and will require remedial English classes at your local elementary school in its stead.
Please route all future correspondence through your agent or another literate individual.
Sincerely,
Roger Goodell
NFL Commissioner
280 Park Avenue
New York, NY 10017
Simply scrawling "Tha NFL" in crayon on an envelope is not sufficient to ensure that the proper personnel will receive your correspondence.
While we encourage you to consult with National Football League management on any and all concerns in the future, we must take issue with certain aspects of your letter.
First, we do not feel that women, nor your anger management counselor, would appreciate your referring to exotic dancers in Las Vegas as "triflin hos." The development of a fundamental respect for women will be critical in your maturation process. Also, we do not condone the use of the phrases "slampiece" or "cooch." If "pudding hatch" means what we think it might, then you are forbidden from using that phrase as well.
We do not feel that placing blame on "mark a$$ snitches" is the proper line of thought. You are a grown man, Mr. Jones, and your willingness to place yourself in questionable situations has led to your ultimate undoing. The continued misdirection of your anger will only serve to perpetuate your troublesome behavior and heighten your hatred for so-called "b**** a$$ punk b******."
The concluding paragraph was largely illegible, as it was smeared in what appeared to be honey mustard dressing and Doritos residue.
We have decided to respectfully decline your appeal of your 2007 season suspension. We have, however, added the requirement of anger management training, and will require remedial English classes at your local elementary school in its stead.
Please route all future correspondence through your agent or another literate individual.
Sincerely,
Roger Goodell
NFL Commissioner