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AP Panther Fan
04-20-2007, 12:11 PM
Excerpts from a Dog's Diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Diary

Day 983 of my captivity My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.
B@$t@#^$! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with
the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.

For now...

:D :D :D

pirate4state
04-20-2007, 01:18 PM
Is it just me or did anyone else use Stewie's voice when reading the excerpt from the cat? :thinking: :D

smustangs
04-20-2007, 01:25 PM
Originally posted by pirate4state
Is it just me or did anyone else use Stewie's voice when reading the excerpt from the cat? :thinking: :D

haha not when i read but now that you mention it it does sound like him

DU_stud04
04-20-2007, 01:33 PM
Originally posted by pirate4state
Is it just me or did anyone else use Stewie's voice when reading the excerpt from the cat? :thinking: :D hahahaha, i thought i was the only one when i read this a while back.

pirate4state
04-20-2007, 01:35 PM
STEWIE (http://www.ebaumsworld.com/2006/07/stewie-fg.html)