Republican/Conservative Light Bulb Jokes

[Keith7]

Since Political Jokes are now allowed, here are some that I found.. haha have fun

-------------------------------------

"Republican/Conservative Light Bulb Jokes"


Q: How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A #1: Two, one to do it and one to steady the chandelier.

A #2: None, they only screw the poor

--

Q: How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

A #1: One, after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the
previous bulb.

A #2: Four, one to do it and three to complain that the old bulb was a lot
better.

--

Q: How many libertarians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None, because somebody might come into the room who likes to sit in
the dark.

--

Q: How many G.W. Bushes does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One, but it has to be a pretty dim bulb.

--

Q: How many NRA members does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A #1: Three, one to give up the old bulb when they pry it from his cold dead
fingers, one to screw it in and pose for an "I'm the NRA" ad while doing so,
and one to complain about the waiting period.
\

--

Q: How many pro-lifers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A #1: Two, one to do it and one to insist that the bulb was lit when the
screwing began.

A #2: Nine, four to block the entrance to the room, four to hold up pictures
of burnt-out bulbs, and one to try and convince the person with the new bulb
to let the room stay dark.

--

Q: How many Christians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Three, but they're really one.

--

Q: How many fundamentalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: THE BIBLE DOES *NOT* SAY *ANYTHING* ABOUT LIGHT BULBS!!!!

--

Q: How many Ku Klux Klansmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One hundred-one to do it and the others to stand around solemnly and
watch the old bulb burn.

--

Q: How many members of the Bush Administration does it take to screw in a
light bulb?

A: Ten...
1. One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed
2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs
to be changed
3. One to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb
4. One to tell the nations of the world that they are either "for"
changing the light bulb or "for" darkness
5. One to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to Halliburton for the
new light bulb
6. One to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a janitor, standing
on a step ladder under the banner: "Light Bulb Change Accomplished"
7. One administration insider to resign and write a book documenting
in detail how Bush was literally in the dark
8. One to viciously smear #7
9. One surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on how George Bush
has had a strong light-bulb-changing policy all along
10. One to confuse Americans about the difference between screwing
a light bulb and screwing the country.

[smustangs]

see bbde i can take a good joke i thought they were pretty funny myself does that make me a child and a week person who cant stand on my own and defend my beliefs?

[DDBooger]

Originally posted by Keith7
Since Political Jokes are now allowed, here are some that I found.. haha have fun

-------------------------------------

"Republican/Conservative Light Bulb Jokes"


Q: How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A #1: Two, one to do it and one to steady the chandelier.

A #2: None, they only screw the poor

--

Q: How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

A #1: One, after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the
previous bulb.

A #2: Four, one to do it and three to complain that the old bulb was a lot
better.

--

Q: How many libertarians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None, because somebody might come into the room who likes to sit in
the dark.

--

Q: How many G.W. Bushes does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One, but it has to be a pretty dim bulb.

--

Q: How many NRA members does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A #1: Three, one to give up the old bulb when they pry it from his cold dead
fingers, one to screw it in and pose for an "I'm the NRA" ad while doing so,
and one to complain about the waiting period.
\

--

Q: How many pro-lifers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A #1: Two, one to do it and one to insist that the bulb was lit when the
screwing began.

A #2: Nine, four to block the entrance to the room, four to hold up pictures
of burnt-out bulbs, and one to try and convince the person with the new bulb
to let the room stay dark.

--

Q: How many Christians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Three, but they're really one.

--

Q: How many fundamentalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: THE BIBLE DOES *NOT* SAY *ANYTHING* ABOUT LIGHT BULBS!!!!

--

Q: How many Ku Klux Klansmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One hundred-one to do it and the others to stand around solemnly and
watch the old bulb burn.

--

Q: How many members of the Bush Administration does it take to screw in a
light bulb?

A: Ten...
1. One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed
2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs
to be changed
3. One to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb
4. One to tell the nations of the world that they are either "for"
changing the light bulb or "for" darkness
5. One to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to Halliburton for the
new light bulb
6. One to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a janitor, standing
on a step ladder under the banner: "Light Bulb Change Accomplished"
7. One administration insider to resign and write a book documenting
in detail how Bush was literally in the dark
8. One to viciously smear #7
9. One surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on how George Bush
has had a strong light-bulb-changing policy all along
10. One to confuse Americans about the difference between screwing
a light bulb and screwing the country. lmao, where did you find that?

[BuffyMars]

I think they are hilarious.

But I may be biased since I have no affiliation.

I have my beliefs and thats is.

[Ranger Mom]

I thought they were funny too, and I guess I am a Republican.....not really into politics, but that's what my card says anyway.

I do have to admit it seems like democrats DO get offended easier that Republicans!!

I wonder why??:thinking: :thinking:

[Keith7]

Originally posted by DDBooger
lmao, where did you find that?

they were a link off of this page:

CLICK HERE (http://web.infoave.net/~dennmac/reich-wing/)

[DDBooger]

Originally posted by BuffyMars


I have my beliefs and thats is. genuine and intelligent. there are more then two answers(dem or rep) lol

[smustangs]

Originally posted by Ranger Mom
I thought they were funny too, and I guess I am a Republican.....not really into politics, but that's what my card says anyway.

I do have to admit it seems like democrats DO get offended easier that Republicans!!

I wonder why??:thinking: :thinking:

i agree i find it amusing

[DDBooger]

Originally posted by Ranger Mom
I thought they were funny too, and I guess I am a Republican.....not really into politics, but that's what my card says anyway.

I do have to admit it seems like democrats DO get offended easier that Republicans!!

I wonder why??:thinking: :thinking: well being we are in a predominantly republican state and seems as if most posters are conservative one could see how a dem would feel alienated. especially if all the jokes center around dems being *bleep*ies lol

[BIG BLUE DEFENSIVE END]

Originally posted by smustangs
see bbde i can take a good joke i thought they were pretty funny myself does that make me a child and a week person who cant stand on my own and defend my beliefs?


What is with you always trying to bring me into a discussion? Do you have some sort of a man crush on me? Do you have some pent up homosexual desires that you're trying to get out. I'm sorry to let you know, but I'm just not like that.

[Keith7]

Originally posted by Ranger Mom


I do have to admit it seems like democrats DO get offended easier that Republicans!!

I wonder why??:thinking: :thinking:

prolly because people w/ democratic views get ganged up on by the republicans

[smustangs]

Originally posted by BIG BLUE DEFENSIVE END
What is with you always trying to bring me into a discussion? Do you have some sort of a man crush on me? Do you have some pent up homosexual desires that you're trying to get out. I'm sorry to let you know, but I'm just not like that.

ya thats it, i was just proving that you said i was child like and couldnt stand on my own and needed to learn about jokes so i was just saying that i can take and allowing you to see it is that what you were looking for? and i also have never "brought you into a discussion" as you put before this nor will i again cuz god knows it would ruffle your feathers if someone did

[BIG BLUE DEFENSIVE END]

Originally posted by Ranger Mom
I thought they were funny too, and I guess I am a Republican.....not really into politics, but that's what my card says anyway.

I do have to admit it seems like democrats DO get offended easier that Republicans!!

I wonder why??:thinking: :thinking:

Or maybe, just maybe, the Democrats on here are tired of the Republican bias that runs the board and are getting irritated by all the of jokes bashing the Democrats that are allowed, and all of the Republican propaganda that is allowed. Of course, that's just me, so I'm speaking for myself on this one, I don't know about the other three.

[Ranger Mom]

Originally posted by Keith7
prolly because people w/ democratic views get ganged up on by the republicans

Well....I do have to agree that it happens on this site.

I don't see it "out in the world" so much, mainly because if there is political topic being discussed, I usually jet in the other direction!

[Ranger Mom]

Originally posted by BIG BLUE DEFENSIVE END
Republican bias that runs the board

Hmmm.....could you clarify that for me?

Who would that be?

[BIG BLUE DEFENSIVE END]

Originally posted by Ranger Mom
Hmmm.....could you clarify that for me?

Who would that be?

Okay, aside from Rita, what political parties do the other moderators support? You're not naive, and my assertion has been very straightforward.

[BIG BLUE DEFENSIVE END]

Originally posted by smustangs
ya thats it, i was just proving that you said i was child like and couldnt stand on my own and needed to learn about jokes so i was just saying that i can take and allowing you to see it is that what you were looking for? and i also have never "brought you into a discussion" as you put before this nor will i again cuz god knows it would ruffle your feathers if someone did

So you're a closet homo is what you're saying?

[Keith7]

Originally posted by Ranger Mom
Well....I do have to agree that it happens on this site.

I don't see it "out in the world" so much, mainly because if there is political topic being discussed, I usually jet in the other direction!

yes in real life people seem more willing to listen and accept ideas from the other side so you feel like you are actually getting somewhere w/ a political arguement..

and on here everyone is stubborn and will just state their beliefs until one side gets mad enough to call names and then the thread just gets closed down..

[smustangs]

Originally posted by BIG BLUE DEFENSIVE END
So you're a closet homo is what you're saying?

ya thats it im a homo for agruing w/ someone

if you take a breath and calm down i bet it will all be ok

[BIG BLUE DEFENSIVE END]

Originally posted by smustangs
ya thats it im a homo for agruing w/ someone

Really, I thought it was your strong attraction to the same sex?

[smustangs]

Originally posted by BIG BLUE DEFENSIVE END
Really, I thought it was your strong attraction to the same sex?

your like arguing with a little kid so what ever floats your boat dude attack away i really dont care. its funny this starts over a political joke now its calling me gay and defining what homosexual is but like i said what ever floats your boat man

[Txbroadcaster]

Wow how has the two threads went from political bickering to calling some a homo

[Ranger Mom]

Originally posted by BIG BLUE DEFENSIVE END
Okay, aside from Rita, what political parties do the other moderators support? You're not naive, and my assertion has been very straightforward.

I know that Sinton66 supports the republican party......I have no clue about the rest!

I don't always vote strictly republican either!

[BIG BLUE DEFENSIVE END]

Originally posted by smustangs
your like arguing with a little kid so what ever floats your boat dude attack away i really dont care

What's that, you can't take a joke? Was it a little inappropriate? My point has been proven. I don't really think you're a homo, but my remarks were necessary. Sorry if I offended you.