sinton66
10-08-2003, 10:43 PM
> >1. Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my
> >own pants.
> >
> >2. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
> >
> >3. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said
> >"Implants?" She hit me.
> >
> >4. I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast.
> >
> >5. I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here.
> >
> >6. I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a
> >moaner.
> >
> >7. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
> >
> >8. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get
> >elected.
> >
> >9. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and hothead's.
> >
> >10. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person
> >you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
> >
> >11. I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore, I am perfect.
> >
> >12. Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive
> >days I've stayed alive.
> >
> >13. How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50
> >for Miss America?
> >
> >14. Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?
> >
> >15. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.
> >
> >16. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words:
> >"Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been.
> >own pants.
> >
> >2. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
> >
> >3. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said
> >"Implants?" She hit me.
> >
> >4. I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast.
> >
> >5. I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here.
> >
> >6. I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a
> >moaner.
> >
> >7. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
> >
> >8. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get
> >elected.
> >
> >9. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and hothead's.
> >
> >10. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person
> >you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
> >
> >11. I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore, I am perfect.
> >
> >12. Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive
> >days I've stayed alive.
> >
> >13. How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50
> >for Miss America?
> >
> >14. Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?
> >
> >15. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.
> >
> >16. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words:
> >"Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been.