i need advice

[bhtrainer]

k so my boyfriend and i have been together going on three years... and for the past couple months things have been rocky...to say the least...well anyways so he goes on an ag trip with his best friend (who happens to be a girl) which isnt a big deal...and he comes back and hes a completely different person... hes rude and everything and now hes hangin out with all these girls and expects me to sit at home and be a stepford wife...do i try to work thru it...or do i break it off...

[pero chato]

When a guy has a best friend who is a girl, it is a very big deal. Unless she is butt ugly and a lesbian, they will eventually hook up. It sounds to me that he wants to break it off with you, probably because of her or one of her friends. Do yourself a favor and cool it off with him...and don't sit at home. He needs to see that you're ok without him.

[bhtrainer]

Originally posted by pero chato
When a guy has a best friend who is a girl, it is a very big deal. Unless she is butt ugly and a lesbian, they will eventually hook up. It sounds to me that he wants to break it off with you, probably because of her or one of her friends. Do yourself a favor and cool it off with him...and don't sit at home. He needs to see that you're ok without him.


yeah acutally her best friend was in the picture and then i kicked her out and now she is kind of comin back and his best friend is practically married...he says he loves me and wants to be with me but why is he acting like this if he wants to be with me

[pirate4state]

Originally posted by pero chato
When a guy has a best friend who is a girl, it is a very big deal. Unless she is butt ugly and a lesbian, they will eventually hook up. It sounds to me that he wants to break it off with you, probably because of her or one of her friends. Do yourself a favor and cool it off with him...and don't sit at home. He needs to see that you're ok without him.

:thumbsup: Sound advice!

[Z motion 10 out on 2]

Originally posted by pirate4state
:thumbsup: Sound advice!

Yep. Sound advice -- take it.

[pero chato]

Originally posted by bhtrainer
yeah acutally her best friend was in the picture and then i kicked her out and now she is kind of comin back and his best friend is practically married...he says he loves me and wants to be with me but why is he acting like this if he wants to be with me

Guys act weird for very basic reasons--like sex or food or sex. If he acting like a jerk, then make him pay. Like I said, he needs to see you're ok without his stupidity.

[bhtrainer]

yeah but i don't know i mean i don't want to lose him for good i just want it too stop...we were perfect before he left and as soon as he left he wanted to fight because i went to hooters for my best friends 18th birthday...i mean i have never cheated on him...

[themsu97]

you want advice...follow what chato told you... if you stay with him all it does is reinforce that you are okay with his behavior...plain and simple.... he can either get along or get gone... he ain't going to change unless he feels there is a need and if you do not change, he aint...
we men operate differently...

[bhtrainer]

Originally posted by themsu97
you want advice...follow what chato told you... if you stay with him all it does is reinforce that you are okay with his behavior...plain and simple.... he can either get along or get gone... he ain't going to change unless he feels there is a need and if you do not change, he aint...
we men operate differently...

why do men operate differently, girls fall hard, all yall fall for is food and sex...

[pero chato]

Originally posted by bhtrainer
yeah but i don't know i mean i don't want to lose him for good i just want it too stop...we were perfect before he left and as soon as he left he wanted to fight because i went to hooters for my best friends 18th birthday...i mean i have never cheated on him...

No, it's perfect you found out how he really is before you got married. For this reason, people should wait until all this type of crap is out of their system before tying the knot. He's mad because YOU went to hooters? Should be the other way around.
It's hard to give advice based on a few lines on a website, but if the relationship is worth saving to you, then give him something to think about---such as --he is not the center of your universe.

[themsu97]

we are wired differently...men are hunter/gatherer and we are very into the physical... women are more into the emotion... boys at that age, I am guessing 18, have no interest in emotion, it is all about the physical...
there is a lot of maturity issues that he will need to go through... not saying that you do not need to stick around but if gets by without any drawbacks, you will always be in the back seat and treated that way... some of lifes lessons are learned the hard way...

[bhtrainer]

k so heres the plan...i stay with him and play hard to get...go out with my friends...party...do my own thing...let him know there is more to me than him...if i do all that very well what are the odds of him going back to normal?

[BTEXDAD]

Originally posted by bhtrainer
yeah acutally her best friend was in the picture and then i kicked her out and now she is kind of comin back and his best friend is practically married...he says he loves me and wants to be with me but why is he acting like this if he wants to be with me

The same thing is happening on Days of Our Lives. I'll get one of the ladies at work to let me know how it plays out.

[pero chato]

Originally posted by bhtrainer
k so heres the plan...i stay with him and play hard to get...go out with my friends...party...do my own thing...let him know there is more to me than him...if i do all that very well what are the odds of him going back to normal?

Normal may not ever return. You will always wonder if he'll do this to you again. That's not to say that he (and you) can't work through this and mature in the process. It's always a good idea though to have a life and friends outside of your love life.

[shankbear]

Stick a fork in it. It is done. dig your keys into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive, carve your name into his leather seats. Take a Louisville Slugger to both headlights, slash a hole in all 4 tires...maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.

[big daddy russ]

Originally posted by bhtrainer
k so heres the plan...i stay with him and play hard to get...go out with my friends...party...do my own thing...let him know there is more to me than him...if i do all that very well what are the odds of him going back to normal?
50/50. And those are the best odds you can hope for in a situation like this.

The big thing that you have to realize is how much you're growing up right now. Look at the difference between when you were 13 (say, eighth grade) and when you're 17 (I'm assuming you're 17 or 18 right now). You'll change that much between the time you're 17 and the time you're 21, too. Up until you're about 25, you change drastically on a yearly basis.

You're going to be a completely different person then than you are now. So will he. As a couple, you can either grow into those people together, or you can grow apart. There's no other way about it. If he's not willing to accomodate that, then that's just too bad.

But it sounds like this relationship may be worth salvaging. If it's worth salvaging for the LONG HAUL, then go out and have a good time with your friends and let him know that he can't run your life. If it's not, break it off now and still go have a good time with your friends anyways. Either way, you'll wind up having a good time. It's a win-win situation.

[CHS_CG]

just bc of how i am, i would ask him about it.. tell him straight up hes being a jerk about stuff and u need to know where he wants this relationship bc you arent gunna sit at home by yourself while he is out partying... tell him its not that you dont trust him but when hes acting like hes got PMS you dont feel secure about things. if he blows up and gets angry and cant answer your questions then hes hiding something and i'd tell him when he cools off and figures out what the hell he wants he would call me

[Gobbla2001]

when ANYONE's best friend is of the opposite sex (or gay as the opposite sex, don't want to discriminate), and that person has a girlfriend/boyfriend etc..., their girlfriend/boyfriend should do the two-step program...

Step 1 - Request that the boyfriend/girlfriend not be best friends with the other because it makes you feel like you're not good enough and that you may leave with them...

Step 2 - If step 1's request is not filled, run like hell and take your feelings with you...

[Phil C]

Originally posted by bhtrainer
why do men operate differently, girls fall hard, all yall fall for is food and sex...

Now now Honey! Don't go shooting all the dogs just because one of them has fleas.

[Gobbla2001]

Originally posted by Phil C
Now now Honey! Don't go shooting all the dogs just because one of them has fleas.

dang right, phil, girls do the same damn thing...

[Old Tiger]

Here are a couple of questions to ask yourself...

How old are you?

How cute are you?

What is your myspace URL?


If you answer those I will tell you my advice ;)

[g$$]

Originally posted by themsu97
we are wired differently...men are hunter/gatherer and we are very into the physical... women are more into the emotion... boys at that age, I am guessing 18, have no interest in emotion, it is all about the physical...
there is a lot of maturity issues that he will need to go through... not saying that you do not need to stick around but if gets by without any drawbacks, you will always be in the back seat and treated that way... some of lifes lessons are learned the hard way...

Sound advice & so true. Let it play out & show him he is not in charge 24/7. You will know your answer soon enough.

Remember, msu & I are both guys, so there you go...

[LH Panther Mom]

Originally posted by shankbear
dig your keys into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive, carve your name into his leather seats. Take a Louisville Slugger to both headlights, slash a hole in all 4 tires...maybe next time he'll think before he cheats. And right after you do the above, call shankbear so he can take your case. ;)


You don't have to put up with his crap.....and you need to tell him so. If he cares about you, he'll straighten up. If he doesn't, he's not worth it anyway. :)