IHS Fan
02-23-2007, 05:55 PM
Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary:
>
> 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
>
> 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
>
> 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
>
> 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
>
> 12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
>
> 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
>
> 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
>
> 5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
>
> 7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
>
> 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
>
> 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
>
>
>
>
>
> Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:
>
> Day 683 of my captivity:
>
> My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
>
> They dine lavishly on fresh meat while the other inmates and I are fed
> hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
>
> Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I
> nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
>
> The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.
>
> In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.
>
> Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.
> I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
> demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
> condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The
> audacity!
>
> There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
> placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I
> could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement
> was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and
> how to use it to my advantage.
>
> Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
> tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
> again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs.
>
> I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
>
> The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems
> to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded!
>
> The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the
> guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors
> have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is
> safe.... for now.
>
> 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
>
> 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
>
> 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
>
> 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
>
> 12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
>
> 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
>
> 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
>
> 5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
>
> 7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
>
> 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
>
> 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
>
>
>
>
>
> Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:
>
> Day 683 of my captivity:
>
> My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
>
> They dine lavishly on fresh meat while the other inmates and I are fed
> hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
>
> Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I
> nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
>
> The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.
>
> In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.
>
> Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.
> I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
> demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
> condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The
> audacity!
>
> There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
> placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I
> could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement
> was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and
> how to use it to my advantage.
>
> Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
> tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
> again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs.
>
> I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
>
> The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems
> to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded!
>
> The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the
> guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors
> have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is
> safe.... for now.