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CHS_CG
01-11-2007, 11:37 AM
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt

he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use
on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, " University of Oklahoma ."

And they say blondes are dumb...
---- ------------------------------------------

A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
"I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
----------------------------------------------

" It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out
of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I
mowed the lawn like this?" "Probably that I married you for your money," she replied .
----------------------------------------------\
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?

A: A rumor
----------------------------------------------

A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th
wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said
that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.

Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.

The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
Gotta love that fairy!
----------------------------------------------

Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And
Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to
death.

AMEN

---------------------------------------------------------------

QWhy do little boys whine?

A: They are practicing to be men.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?

A: Trustworthy.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and
calling your name?

A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
----------------------------------! -------- -----------------
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"

bobcat1
01-11-2007, 11:40 AM
You do know how to tell when a woman is about to say something smart? She starts her sentence with "A man told me....":p

Adidas410s
01-11-2007, 11:40 AM
Originally posted by CHS_CG
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt

he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use
on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, " University of Oklahoma ."

And they say blondes are dumb...


She should've replied "turn water to hot...add bleach...LOTS of it! ;)

Adidas410s
01-11-2007, 11:41 AM
Originally posted by bobcat1
You do know how to tell when a woman is about to say something smart? She starts her sentence with "A man told me....":p

good one! :thumbsup:

CHS_CG
01-11-2007, 11:41 AM
Originally posted by bobcat1
You do know how to tell when a woman is about to say something smart? She starts her sentence with "A man told me....":p

hey you have ur lil man law thread.. get outta ours! lol

Ranger Mom
01-11-2007, 11:47 AM
I have felt sorry for my husband because he has been sick the past couple of weeks....but if doesn't quit snoring like he has the past few nights...I might have to use the ole pillow over the face trick!!:mad: :mad:

BILLYFRED0000
01-11-2007, 11:51 AM
Old math but accurate.


To find a woman you need time and money.
Therefore--

WOMAN = TIME X MONEY

Since TIME IS MONEY

WOMAN=MONEY X MONEY
WOMAN=MONEY SQUARED.

MONEY IS THE ROOT OF ALL PROBLEMS

(SQUARE ROOT OF PROBLEMS) SQUARED.

THEREFORE

WOMAN=(SQUARE ROOT OF PROBLEMS)SQUARED.

BY CANCELLING THE SQUARES TO THE LOWEST DENOMINATOR

WOMAN=PROBLEMS.

Blastoderm55
01-11-2007, 12:00 PM
Originally posted by Ranger Mom
I have felt sorry for my husband because he has been sick the past couple of weeks....but if doesn't quit snoring like he has the past few nights...I might have to use the ole pillow over the face trick!!:mad: :mad:

Those breathing strips worked ok for me. Actifed or Claratin might be good if he's full'o'snot.

Ranger Mom
01-11-2007, 12:02 PM
Originally posted by Blastoderm55
Those breathing strips worked ok for me. Actifed or Claratin might be good if he's full'o'snot.

Usually I can just shove him and he rolls over....but he has been being stubborn here lately!!

Phil C
01-11-2007, 12:19 PM
Originally posted by CHS_CG
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt

he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use
on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, " University of Oklahoma ."

And they say blondes are dumb...
---- ------------------------------------------

A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
"I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
----------------------------------------------

" It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out
of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I
mowed the lawn like this?" "Probably that I married you for your money," she replied .
----------------------------------------------\
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?

A: A rumor
----------------------------------------------

A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th
wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said
that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.

Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.

The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
Gotta love that fairy!
----------------------------------------------

Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And
Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to
death.

AMEN

---------------------------------------------------------------

QWhy do little boys whine?

A: They are practicing to be men.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?

A: Trustworthy.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and
calling your name?

A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
----------------------------------! -------- -----------------
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"


HEY CHS! RECENT PICTURES OF THE BABY GIRL!!

:mad: :mad: :mad: