Football more important than family?

[noitall]

I saw where Brandon Stokley has decided to play in todays game while his one month old son lies in a hospital bed with meningitis, a potentially fatal illness. I can't understand why anyone in this situation could have any concentration at all on this game while your son and probably any other family members that are close to you are also at the hospital. I hope the best for this small infant because it would be tough to accept that you weren't at his side if something drastic happens. There will always be football in your future.

<small>[ January 18, 2004, 07:44 AM: Message edited by: noitall ]</small>

[Wildcat81]

I would be at the hospital with my child.

[TXMike]

Unbelieveable!!! I suppose it could be "somewhat" understood if he was a key member of the team but seems he could be fairly easily replaced.

Reminds me of a fellow official several years back. He shows up at the dressing room on Friday night and as we are talking he mentions his wife had a massive heart attack on Wednesday and was still hospitalized (our game site was about 90 miles from the hospital). It shocked me that he was there and caused me to lose some respect for his decision making ability.

[PPHSfan]

I don't think anyone on the board has the right to JUDGE this man for his decision. And I think comments like TXMIKE made about questioning ones decision making abilitys as a referee because of their decisions regarding something other than football are in poor taste.

You may not agree with his decision, but talking about someones family that you don't even know in an open forum is, in my opinion, a "BAD DECISION"

[TXMike]

You have demonstrated your lack of decision making ability in the past (i.e. allowing a player to violate UIL rules and still play).

It may surprise you to know this but there are some things in life that are right and wrong. Maybe you were never taught that. But you are one of many who apparently suffered the same lack of moral training.

[PPHSfan]

Mike,

The first part of your reply accuses me of being the person that allowed someone to do something as if it were my decision.

The second part of your reply only works if the first part were true.

I demand an apology for the personal attack on my moral character, as well as an apology on your personal attack on the referee you spoke of in your first post.

If you refuse, your actions will speak for themselves in this matter.

[Chris Hart]

noitall:
I saw where Brandon Stokley has decided to play in todays game while his one month old son lies in a hospital bed with meningitis, a potentially fatal illness. I can't understand why anyone in this situation could have any concentration at all on this game while your son and probably any other family members that are close to you are also at the hospital. I hope the best for this small infant because it would be tough to accept that you weren't at his side if something drastic happens. There will always be football in your future.Maybe Mr. Stokley has put his faith in God, and not the diagnosis of the physician. I know it may not be politically correct, but it is still in practice by believers. I don't know if this is the case or not, but in a situation like that, in whom else could you trust?

[GreatBigBurnetFan]

The commentators who brought up the subject said,
the child has improved. He will remain hospitalized for a period, but it is NO LONGER
life threatening. There is nothing Mr Stokley can do for his son. Sitting with a loved one in a hospital is certainly distressing. There is no way we can know the conversation between Mr Stokley and his wife. She may well have told him to play and dedicate the game to his son. Let's give him the benefit of the doubt and we can think positively and pray for the baby and his parents.
Regards,
GreatBigBurnetFan

[poncho]

Making morality judgements without having all the facts is done all the time, just look at out news media. It is between Mr. Stokley his family and God if he should play or not. Lets not prejudge him publicly. :cool:

<small>[ January 18, 2004, 08:08 PM: Message edited by: poncho ]</small>

[noitall]

Since this IS an open forum, everyone on this board has a right to say what they want about a particular matter. Hopefully this child is improving as some might say and perhaps there isn't anything that he can do personally for his son but he CAN be there for his wife and family back home. Nobody can tell me that the right thing for him to be doing is playing football today. People judge other people everyday and I know I wouldn't want myself or anybody in my family to make the same decision that he has chosen to make. This is wrong and people should let it be known!

[fball fanatic]

I thought it was marvin harrison.

[fball fanatic]

OOPS, my bad. They are doing bad right now.

[poncho]

Noitall,
Don't take this out of context, people do what they feel is right for them based on the facts, its not always as simple as it seems. Your last sentence says this is wrong and people should let it be known. It sounds like you think he should be investigated. :cool:

[noitall]

No Poncho I don't think he should be investigated. This is not a criminal offense. I'm sure this has to be the hardest decision he's ever made in his life. I'm just not sure what to make of all this talk like he's really sacrificing by playing in this game. Well sure he is and he has chosen so. All I'm really saying is that I don't agree with his decision to play. Nuff said

[poncho]

noitall:
No Poncho I don't think he should be investigated. This is not a criminal offense. I'm sure this has to be the hardest decision he's ever made in his life. I'm just not sure what to make of all this talk like he's really sacrificing by playing in this game. Well sure he is and he has chosen so. All I'm really saying is that I don't agree with his decision to play. Nuff saidI agree. :cool:

[Chief Woodman]

First of all before anyone says this is right or wrong or moral or immoral, three questions should be answered.
First have YOU been in the exact situation before? If you have not, then may I humbly suggest that you can state what you THINK you would do, but you do not know for 100% what you would do until you are in the exact same place. I have a bro-n-law that once said he would never be a dumb ole fireman and seeing my garage a little cluttered told me that it was nasty and his would never look like that, (he was single, I had a 2 car garage with 2 cars in it, amongest many other things) 5 years later he was working as a dumb ole fireman, and had a two car garage that he could not even get one car in for all the stuff he had in there. I none too gently reminded him of his "I will never" statement he made before he even was married or even owned a house. My how some things change when you are in the situation that you so boldly said what you knew exactly would and would not do.

Second, do you know all the facts? He may be handling the stress so poorly that hie wife asked him to go play to get his mind off of it for a short while. Maybe his child is no longer in a life threating situation. Maybe could be applied to alot here. So without the facts, may I suggest that you might say that wihout further information it seems a poor decision, but qualify that remark by admiting you do not have the facts.

Before you say it is immoral, back up your statement with scripture, or else you might be placing your self in position of judge, which you would be immoral for doing. I can say that stealing is immoral because I can show you where the Good book says "Thou shalt not steal". I can say that flaunting your victory in the face of a defeated opponet through trash talk or taunting is immoral because I can show you where the good book says "Everyone that is proud in the heart is an abomination to the Lord". (after all would you do that in your mothers face if you scored on her?) Having said this here is the third question that needs an answer.....if his actions are immoral, where does it say "Thou shalt not leave you family the whole time they are sick"? OR "Everyone that works while their offsping is ill is an abomination"?

We too many times try to make up our own rules on what is moral/immoral, and many do not even really follow the rules that are there for us to follow. This is not ment as an attack on anyone, but please think out your opinion on this matter before you post it.

[vet93]

Great post Woodman...I agree wholeheartedly. However...I can also understand where Noitall was coming from. Professional athletics (and athletics in general) have become such a national obsession that many have made athletics their god. If the young man in question, or any one of us have made this mistake and put athletics or anything else before our relationship with the Lord and the responsibilities that go with that relationship...including the care of those around us...then we are indeed sinning against God. Deuteronomy 5:7 You shall have no other gods before me (the first commandment). I confess that many times I have broken this commandment in relation to sports and other things I am ashamed to say.

[cubs]

Thanks, PPHS - seems like people think it is their life's work to judge others. When you don't know the family, the circumstances, their conversations about the issue ... I could go on and on .... don't worry about their decisions and what they are doing. Seems like taking care of your ownself would be a big enough job in itself. My patience is real thin with the judging thing - can ya tell?????

[bearcat1]

Chief Woodman:
First of all before anyone says this is right or wrong or moral or immoral, three questions should be answered.
First have YOU been in the exact situation before? If you have not, then may I humbly suggest that you can state what you THINK you would do, but you do not know for 100% what you would do until you are in the exact same place. I have a bro-n-law that once said he would never be a dumb ole fireman and seeing my garage a little cluttered told me that it was nasty and his would never look like that, (he was single, I had a 2 car garage with 2 cars in it, amongest many other things) 5 years later he was working as a dumb ole fireman, and had a two car garage that he could not even get one car in for all the stuff he had in there. I none too gently reminded him of his "I will never" statement he made before he even was married or even owned a house. My how some things change when you are in the situation that you so boldly said what you knew exactly would and would not do.

Second, do you know all the facts? He may be handling the stress so poorly that hie wife asked him to go play to get his mind off of it for a short while. Maybe his child is no longer in a life threating situation. Maybe could be applied to alot here. So without the facts, may I suggest that you might say that wihout further information it seems a poor decision, but qualify that remark by admiting you do not have the facts.

Before you say it is immoral, back up your statement with scripture, or else you might be placing your self in position of judge, which you would be immoral for doing. I can say that stealing is immoral because I can show you where the Good book says "Thou shalt not steal". I can say that flaunting your victory in the face of a defeated opponet through trash talk or taunting is immoral because I can show you where the good book says "Everyone that is proud in the heart is an abomination to the Lord". (after all would you do that in your mothers face if you scored on her?) Having said this here is the third question that needs an answer.....if his actions are immoral, where does it say "Thou shalt not leave you family the whole time they are sick"? OR "Everyone that works while their offsping is ill is an abomination"?

We too many times try to make up our own rules on what is moral/immoral, and many do not even really follow the rules that are there for us to follow. This is not ment as an attack on anyone, but please think out your opinion on this matter before you post it.That is a great post Chief.

bc

[slpybear the bullfan]

Ditto on the post, Chief.

Everyone here certainly has the right to express their opinion of the players actions. And everyone here can say what they "THINK" they might do if they were in that situation...

...and don't forget, Everyone (who profess to be Christlike), also can bend a knee and offer a prayer for the young child. Actions by his father or mother don't change the fact that the child needs His Healing.

Sorry to sermonize, I just thought it good to throw that in...

[KKB]

slpybear,
Don't apologize for "sermonizing". I think we could all stand to pray more, PERIOD.

[BrahmaMom]

Chief Woodman: You are so right. A long time ago, I learned(the hard way) to NEVER say I would never....or my kids would never... God has humbled me to know that I never know. Funny story you told, to prove the point. Glad you are out there, doing what you do best. The rest of us thank you.

[TXMike]

There is a huge difference between right/wrong, moral/immoral. I did not say that what the player did was immoral, but I do think it was wrong, according to my sense of right and wrong. You can elect not to have an opinion or you can elect to have one and keep it to yourself or you can have 1 and voice it.

[Green Ranger]

I read these post and felt the need to put my two cents in. The facts first of all, for those of you who listened to the media other than how many passes a quarterback had completed or how many sacks somebody has; Stokley's little one was out of the woods prior to him returning to the team. The coach in fact had a press conference saying he was not expecting him back with the team unless he (Stokley) felt comfortable with his sons status. Regardless who are we to judge as numerous people have posted. Whether his actions to play where right or wrong, judging him was just as sinful as him playing. Now to the "I would haves. . . . .,I would nevers. . . . ." We dont know what the future holds, and unless you have been close to death you do not appreciate life as those who have. Not to start another arguement, I am not saying those who havent experienced something close to death dont value their life. Example, Sept 11th alot of people said they would look at life different. Since then I have seen few take life differently. My point is live each day as your last as tomorrow is not promised to you. Stokley son could pass just as you or I could tomorrow. Last two points, if this wasnt someone famous, this wouldnt be such a big deal. Second, nine out of ten of you will not forget this come next August and feel that football is only thing that matters I would be willing to bet.

[Old Tiger]

It depends on the situation, in most cases yes...football is life.

[PPHSfan]

TXMike:
There is a huge difference between right/wrong, moral/immoral. I did not say that what the player did was immoral, but I do think it was wrong, according to my sense of right and wrong. You can elect not to have an opinion or you can elect to have one and keep it to yourself or you can have 1 and voice it.Phouque EWE MIKE,

Your post was directed straight at me, as anyone with any sense can see. If you are not Man enough to admit it and apologize then you have just proven to me how much of a weasel you are. I gave you a chance to make it right....NOW YOU CAN KISS MY FAT ASS.

[BrahmaMom]

Green Ranger: I have been close to death, done CPR on my mother, made life and death decisions for my husband, and made parenting "I never, my kids would never..."statements way back when they did what I told them to do. There is NO way for any of us to say for certainty what we would do in that case, certaily not me. Sometimes the best thing one can do is leave and go do something else. I pray for the child's recovery as I had meningitis and it can be a long road back, and I pray for the parents, who will never take a second with that child for granted again. It sounds like a good ending for the family, that is the really important thing.

[vet93]

PPHSfan...I think that your last reply was a little over the top. We can strongly disagree on this board without getting nasty.

[TXMike]

PP:
This is what I wrote:
You have demonstrated your lack of decision making ability in the past (i.e. allowing a player to violate UIL rules and still play).

Would it make you feel better if I clarified it to say ?:
You have demonstrated your lack of decision making ability in the past (i.e. YOUR SUPPORT OF allowing a player to violate UIL rules and still play).

[PPHSfan]

TXMike:
PP:
This is what I wrote:
You have demonstrated your lack of decision making ability in the past (i.e. allowing a player to violate UIL rules and still play).

Would it make you feel better if I clarified it to say ?:
You have demonstrated your lack of decision making ability in the past (i.e. YOUR SUPPORT OF allowing a player to violate UIL rules and still play).That is not all you wrote MIKE.

In my post I said that I didn't think that anyone on the board has the right to JUDGE, and that I thought what you said about the ref was in poor taste. Since you too are a ref, I felt that it was in poor taste to say something like that against one of your peers.

You went on to say this....

"It may surprise you to know this but there are some things in life that are right and wrong. Maybe you were never taught that. But you are one of many who apparently suffered the same lack of moral training. "

Your statment leaves no room for interpretation...you patronized me, judged the way I was "raised" and then came right out and accused me of having no morals ...just like you did the referee and the football player.

Don't try and spin your way out of this one MIKE. Go back and read your post. You sir, are a judgmental ass, and there is no denying it.

[PPHSfan]

And since you insist on bringing up that "other" topic.

Go back and read every one of my posts on the subject.

I never supported the decision, I only supported the right to make it.

And my posts were about grown men and women such as yourself slamming a teenager on a bulletin board.

[TXMike]

I think your responses speak for themselves with regard to your upbringing.

I never slammed the teenager. I slammed the decision, BY ADULTS, to take that "other situation" into court.

[PPHSfan]

So it is your position that you are not a judgmental ass?

I mean I don't hear you defending your statements, I only hear you avoiding my accusation.

Or is it that you are just too much of a pussie to stand up and support what you said?

Tell us all how you are not Judgemental MIKE.

[noitall]

The main reason I started this post was to show what I consider the declining values of the majority of Americans today. Sure everyone has a right to do what they want to in this situation. What I hope everyone gets out of this discussion is although we have rights in this country that protect alot of the things we do or say, there are alot of people who think more highly of moral or family values than others do. Whether this is right or wrong is for you to decide.

[poncho]

Green Ranger:
I read these post and felt the need to put my two cents in. The facts first of all, for those of you who listened to the media other than how many passes a quarterback had completed or how many sacks somebody has; Stokley's little one was out of the woods prior to him returning to the team. The coach in fact had a press conference saying he was not expecting him back with the team unless he (Stokley) felt comfortable with his sons status. Regardless who are we to judge as numerous people have posted. Whether his actions to play where right or wrong, judging him was just as sinful as him playing. Now to the "I would haves. . . . .,I would nevers. . . . ." We dont know what the future holds, and unless you have been close to death you do not appreciate life as those who have. Not to start another arguement, I am not saying those who havent experienced something close to death dont value their life. Example, Sept 11th alot of people said they would look at life different. Since then I have seen few take life differently. My point is live each day as your last as tomorrow is not promised to you. Stokley son could pass just as you or I could tomorrow. Last two points, if this wasnt someone famous, this wouldnt be such a big deal. Second, nine out of ten of you will not forget this come next August and feel that football is only thing that matters I would be willing to bet.Good post!! :cool: