Your opinion please

[injuredinmelee]

Hypothetical situation:

He is divorced. Still amicable with his ex. He is planning on attending a small event with his girlfriend. He goes to this event weekly usually at a different location every week. He has invited the ex to go on at least two occasions when she complaind about having nothing to do. She refused sayign she hates goign to those events.

Today He tells her he is going to the event with his gf. The ex had said that she didnt have anything to do. When she finds out he is going with the gf sh decides she will go to. It will put someone in an uncomfortable situation dont you agree?

Please give me some feedback.

[AggieJohn]

don't go to place....call in sick with both of them

[shankbear]

He is an idiot. He wants the ex as a kind of gf also along with his real gf. Can't serve two masters.

Is the new gf really smokin hot?????

[SWMustang]

I think for the GF's sake this is a bad deal. It's one thing if the divorced couple had kids and you try to put your differences behind you for their sake, but there is no reason to be hanging out with your Ex unless there is the possibility of reconcilling. Theoretically of course...

[griff]

Tell both women that you don't want to put either of them in an uncomfortable situation like that. Plus, you're not totally at peace with it, either. Go to the event alone or don't go at all. Then, the next time you want to go to this event, make another attempt at this and take ONLY one of the women. If the ex tries the "I don't want to go", then "I do want to go" scenario again after knowing you invited the girlfiriend, tell her, "We've already been through this once. I can't/don't want to take both of you. Sorry, but I invited (girlfriend) first and she's agreed to go. If you really wanted to go, you would have said yes the first time."

[injuredinmelee]

Originally posted by shankbear
He is an idiot. He wants the ex as a kind of gf also along with his real gf. Can't serve two masters.

Is the new gf really smokin hot?????

please explain what makes him an idiot? Remaining friends with the EX? What if they had kids together is he still an idiot for remainng freiends for the sake of the kids?

[big daddy russ]

I don't know how deep you are in your ex's load of crap (it's an intricate web all girls weave around us), but you should tell the ex "but you hate going to these events."

Uninvite her and tell her better luck next time.

[LH Panther Mom]

Hypothetically speaking, aren't there some compelling reasons that this is a hypothetical "ex" we're speaking of? Take the g/f if she wants to go.

[big daddy russ]

Originally posted by griff
Tell both women that you don't want to put either of them in an uncomfortable situation like that. Plus, you're not totally at peace with it, either. Go to the event alone or don't go at all. Then, the next time you want to go to this event, make another attempt at this and take ONLY one of the women. If the ex tries the "I don't want to go", then "I do want to go" scenario again after knowing you invited the girlfiriend, tell her, "We've already been through this once. I can't/don't want to take both of you. Sorry, but I invited (girlfriend) first and she's agreed to go. If you really wanted to go, you would have said yes the first time."
AMEN!!!!

[SWMustang]

Originally posted by injuredinmelee
please explain what makes him an idiot? Remaining friends with the EX? What if they had kids together is he still an idiot for remainng freiends for the sake of the kids?

does the event invovle the kids? If not, you shouldn't be going out with her in any social capacity. Hypothetically...

[shankbear]

Do they have kids together? Will those kids go to this event also? Who dumped who in the divorce?

[Bullaholic]

Hard to make an evaluation when you do not know any of the parties. I think this situation goes a little deeper than just a social gathering dilemna. I think maybe this divorced couple is sorry they divorced and this girlfriend is getting caught up in the middle. If this guy is using the g/f to make his ex jealous, and she is responding to it---we have this type of situation. If there are truly no longer any romantic ties between the exes, then there should be no prob with the man taking his girlfriend to the event, and he should be able to politely explain this to his ex, and she should understand. This man is headed for trouble if he intends to pursue a serious relationship with his g/f. She will not tolerate his "dating" his ex-wife---and rightly so. Either you are divorced or you are not. Doesn't mean you can't still be friends, but dating is more than friends. Either he has a g/f or he has a wife---pick one.

[SWMustang]

well put Bull!

[injuredinmelee]

Originally posted by Bullaholic
Hard to make an evaluation when you do not know any of the parties. I think this situation goes a little deeper than just a social gathering dilemna. I think maybe this divorced couple is sorry they divorced and this girlfriend is getting caught up in the middle. If this guy is using the g/f to make his ex jealous, and she is responding to it---we have this type of situation. If there are truly no longer any romantic ties between the exes, then there should be no prob with the man taking his girlfriend to the event, and he should be able to politely explain this to his ex, and she should understand. This man is headed for trouble if he intends to pursue a serious relationship with his g/f. She will not tolerate his "dating" his ex-wife---and rightly so. Either you are divorced or you are not. Doesn't mean you can't still be friends, but dating is more than friends. Either he has a g/f or he has a wife---pick one.

here is the deal h has politely asked his ex not to go and she says that everyone has to deal with the new relationship at soem point well what makes her the one that gets to pick the point. They remain friends because there are two small children involved. It is best for the kids that they are amicable to each other.

[pirate4state]

Originally posted by injuredinmelee
here is the deal h has politely asked his ex not to go and she says that everyone has to deal with the new relationship at soem point well what makes her the one that gets to pick the point. They remain friends because there are two small children involved. It is best for the kids that they are amicable to each other.

Is the "ex" always invited to these functions? Did the ex-husband invite the "ex"? If so, why if he already invited the g/f?

Or am I missing something?

[Ranger Mom]

Since my ex-husband has been in prison, his g/f has come hung out at my house on several occasions!!:D :D

[shankbear]

The other chick needs to hit the road. The ex is dictating this relationship. Why should the new gf take this??

[injuredinmelee]

Originally posted by pirate4state
Is the "ex" always invited to these functions? Did the ex-husband invite the "ex"? If so, why if he already invited the g/f?

Or am I missing something?

The ex is not always invited to these events but the times she has been inited was the weekend he had the kids and she said she had nothign to do so he asked if she wanted to go to the game with them.

[injuredinmelee]

Originally posted by injuredinmelee
The ex is not always invited to these events but the times she has been inited was the weekend he had the kids and she said she had nothign to do so he asked if she wanted to go to the game with them.
cant believe I wasted my 5000th post on that

[shankbear]

premature post-ulation

[44INAROW]

Originally posted by injuredinmelee
cant believe I wasted my 5000th post on that

well, look at it this way, the post did mention your kids and they are important :) that's one way to look at it :) One thing I do know is: trying to make everyone happy, will drive you NUTS :( The road to heaven is paved with good intentions though -


Originally posted by shankbear
premature post-ulation

OMG rofl..............

[pirate4state]

Originally posted by injuredinmelee
The ex is not always invited to these events but the times she has been inited was the weekend he had the kids and she said she had nothign to do so he asked if she wanted to go to the game with them. :thinking: Well you asked for opinions and here is one you may not like :p

I know you are trying to be "the good guy" by inviting her, but she probably needs to find something she likes to do. She didn't like going to the games before, why now? So, I guess I'm saying is if you want to keep you new hot smoking g/f don't invite the "ex" anymore. Unless, your new g/f doesn't mind, but I would find that VERY hard to believe.

[injuredinmelee]

Originally posted by 44INAROW
well, look at it this way, the post did mention your kids and they are important :0 that's one way to look at it :p One thing I do know is: trying to make everyone happy, will drive you NUTS :( The road to heaven is paved with good intentions though -

I am sure the intelligent ones have figured out this is a situation I am in. I have tried o hard to be amicalbe and the onyl reason the ex is doing his is to prove a point. She says i cant tell her where to go I am not. i told her that if she wants to go then the gf and I will do somethign else that is fine and she says that makes me a coward. I disagree. The kids will come with her. Will the daugher feel bad that she has to choose who she sits with? Will it make the gf uncomfortable? This can not end well. The ex said she didnt know what she was going to do until I told her I was goign to the game with the gf then she said she was going to the game. That is just her being a witch in my opinion.

[injuredinmelee]

Originally posted by pirate4state
:thinking: Well you asked for opinions and here is one you may not like :p

I know you are trying to be "the good guy" by inviting her, but she probably needs to find something she likes to do. She didn't like going to the games before, why now? So, I guess I'm saying is if you want to keep you new hot smoking g/f don't invite the "ex" anymore. Unless, your new g/f doesn't mind, but I would find that VERY hard to believe.


i didnt invite her tonight. I have invited her in the past when I had the kids and she had free reign to do whatever and said she had nothign to do. That was me being nice. I can see that being nice does not pay off.

[injuredinmelee]

I have also decided that it is not p[ossible to be friends. Only co-parents. I cant believe i am using psycho babble but that is what it is.

[luvhoops34]

Uhhh either you're married or divorced....pick one. You can't have it both ways.

And you are letting your ex dictate to you. That's wrong, very wrong. If you're trying to make an impression on your girl friend, you have. A very bad impression.

If it's a football game, can't you just sit as far away as possible? Or sit on the visitors side. Or better yet just don't go. If you're not there, I guarantee your ex wife will lose her desire to go to football games. She's just doing it to be nosey and or aggreviate you. Don't let her do it.

And quit talking to her and telling her all your business.

[Bullaholic]

Originally posted by injuredinmelee
I am sure the intelligent ones have figured out this is a situation I am in. I have tried o hard to be amicalbe and the onyl reason the ex is doing his is to prove a point. She says i cant tell her where to go I am not. i told her that if she wants to go then the gf and I will do somethign else that is fine and she says that makes me a coward. I disagree. The kids will come with her. Will the daugher feel bad that she has to choose who she sits with? Will it make the gf uncomfortable? This can not end well. The ex said she didnt know what she was going to do until I told her I was goign to the game with the gf then she said she was going to the game. That is just her being a witch in my opinion.

Injured...I'm really sorry you are having to deal with this situation. I don't think I could discuss this problem any more without asking some pretty personal questions. I'm not a certified counselor, but I will tell you that I am available anytime day or night if you need another "guy" to talk to----I will be glad to give you my phone nos. via PM and I will be happy to just visit with you anytime. Don't get "down" and hang in there---time heals all.

[GreenMonster]

Ricky, I love you man. Can I have one of your Bud Lights???

[SWMustang]

Originally posted by GreenMonster
Ricky, I love you man. Can I have one of your Bud Lights???

I was curious what "nugget of wisdom" GM would leave behind. :D

[GreenMonster]

No wisdom on women. I can't figure them out either. I respect Rick for trying to remain amacable with the ex for the kids sake. I hope the gf is understanding and works with Rick. Knowing Rick, he's a pretty straight forward kind of guy so I'm sure he's laid it all out there for her. Just sucks for him that the ex decided to change her mind to attend this function at the last minute. It would be rather awkward.

[westtxfballfan]

Originally posted by SWMustang
...... there is no reason to be hanging out with your Ex unless there is the possibility of reconcilling. Theoretically of course...

Seconded. Later posts reveal that there are kids involved, but the GF deserves better and you can quickly become radioactive to the other sex if perceived as still being hooked on the ex.

[Technoredneck]

Originally posted by injuredinmelee
I have also decided that it is not p[ossible to be friends. Only co-parents. I cant believe i am using psycho babble but that is what it is.
You need to quit listening yo whomever is feeding you this crap! YOU ARE A PARENT! PERIOD! You're not a "co" anything and anything ytou think you are doing with your "ex" will haunt you for years to come. Quit letting her dictate your life. If you want to go to the game go, ignore her, enjoy yourself. If it is your weekend with the kids, take then and enjoy the time with them, FORGET YOUR EX, she is you r ex for a very BIG reason, whatever it was it didn't work, it is now time to move on.

Yes I am divorced with kids and am in the process of rebuilding the realtionships with my children, who my ex had custody of and promptly moved 1500 miles away, as soon as she figured out that I wasn't playing her games. But you gotta stand on you own feet, and you have to decide to do it. Good Luck.