The Purina Diet

[Adidas410s]

I have a Rottweiler and I was buying a large bag of Purina at
Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had
a dog? On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet
again, although I probably shouldn't because, while I lost 50 pounds the
last time I tried it, I ended up in the hospital intensive care ward
with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it
works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat
one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally
complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I wound up in the hospital because I'd been
poisoned by the dog food? I told her no, I was sitting in the middle of
the street licking my genitals and a car hit me.

I thought the big guy was going to have to stagger out the door he was
laughing so hard.

[pirate4state]

Originally posted by Adidas410s
I have a Rottweiler and I was buying a large bag of Purina at
Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had
a dog? On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet
again, although I probably shouldn't because, while I lost 50 pounds the
last time I tried it, I ended up in the hospital intensive care ward
with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it
works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat
one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally
complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I wound up in the hospital because I'd been
poisoned by the dog food? I told her no, I was sitting in the middle of
the street licking my genitals and a car hit me.

I thought the big guy was going to have to stagger out the door he was
laughing so hard.

I wouldn't be me if I didn't tell you that this has already been posted on the DL, but thanks for the laugh it never gets old!! :D :clap:

[injuredinmelee]

Nice!!!