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Adidas410s
10-10-2006, 01:49 PM
This is all kinds of messed up.

LORTON, Virginia (AP) -- A woman is taking the unusual step of trying to unadopt her 15-year-old son, saying she learned of his troubled past only after he molested two younger children.

"You don't want to throw somebody away," said Helen Briggs, a longtime foster mother. "But sometimes you have to."

Briggs, 57, said she did not know that the boy had lived in five foster homes since he was 16 months old, or that he had been physically abused by his alcohol- and drug-addicted biological parents and was possibly psychotically bipolar.

"I did not know any of that," Briggs said. "They just told me he was hyperactive."

Virginia policy mandates that caseworkers provide "full, factual information" about a child to adoptive parents. State child welfare advocates would not comment on the case because of confidentiality rules.

But records obtained by The Washington Post show some caseworkers do not believe Briggs' claim that she was not fully informed and think she may be trying to get out of having to pay child support.

After the youngster molested a 6-year-old boy and a 2-year-old girl in 2003, he was deemed a "sexual predator" by psychologists. That meant that if he remained in Briggs' home, she could no longer be a foster parent to others or allow her three grandchildren in her home, so she chose to try to dissolve the adoption.

A judge granted Briggs's bid to relinquish custody, and the boy is back in foster care. But in Virginia, a child older than 14 must give consent, and the teenager wants Briggs to remain his mother.

Briggs, who with her husband adopted the boy when he was 9, is still required to pay $427 per month in child support.

Briggs said the state's failure to fully disclose the boy's background is tantamount to fraud, and she has asked politicians for help finding a way out of the situation.

"At first blush, you think, `What, you're trying to give up your kid? You're a jerk,"' said state Delegate David B. Albo.

"Then you find this lady has received awards for all the foster work she's done. And that she never would have adopted the boy and put other children in danger if she had had the information that was withheld from her."

Copyright 2006 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

injuredinmelee
10-10-2006, 01:53 PM
wow after reading that i still dont know where i stand on that situation. Can see both points.

Bullaholic
10-10-2006, 01:58 PM
Another child we have failed. There has to be a place other than prison or an institution for this young man.

injuredinmelee
10-10-2006, 02:06 PM
you are right bullaholic there has to be another place esp at his age. if he is still making these mistakes at 18 and 21 then the place for him is prison or the grave. Surely he knows what he did was wrong. He has to take responsibility for it even at his current age. Where he goes fromk here is al up to him. He was dealt a crappy hand in lif it sounds like but what he does with his life is up to him. There are lots of success stories with peopel who came from similar backgrounds but not near as many as the failures sadly. I am all about philpassion and rehabilitation but most of the work has to come from with in the person themselves. No one can make you be a better person. No one can make stop touching little kids. You have to make the decision for yourself that you are going to be a different person.

piratebg
10-10-2006, 02:11 PM
This is just a really bad situation all together. I don't know what else to say about it except wow.

SWMustang
10-10-2006, 02:42 PM
Originally posted by Bullaholic
Another child we have failed. There has to be a place other than prison or an institution for this young man.

Maybe WE share some responsibility, but the biological mom and Dad deserve most of the "credit" for this.

I don't want to raise other people's kids. I have my own and I take care of them.

Bullaholic
10-10-2006, 03:00 PM
Originally posted by SWMustang
Maybe WE share some responsibility, but the biological mom and Dad deserve most of the "credit" for this.

I don't want to raise other people's kids. I have my own and I take care of them.

SWM, I think most responsible parents feel that way---and thank God you are one of those parents. The problem comes with the irresponsible parents who do not provide love, guidance, or food and shelter and who do not teach responsibility. So it falls to the rest of us to care for these children in some manner----they did not ask or create their circumstances, but someone has to care for them. I know we cannot all "bleed" for the whole world, but somehow we must all learn to love each other more.

I do not want to turn this thread into a religious discussion, but I was struck by this quote by Mother Teresa on serving the unfortunate:

"When a poor person dies of hunger, it has not happened because God did not take care of him or her.
It has happened because neither you nor I wanted to give that person what he or she needed."

SWMustang
10-10-2006, 03:28 PM
well Bull, now you made me feel bad. :(

It just seems like the number of other people's kids that need help is growing.

Bullaholic
10-10-2006, 03:35 PM
Originally posted by SWMustang
well Bull, now you made me feel bad. :(

It just seems like the number of other people's kids that need help is growing.

I'm sorry, SWM---that certainly was not my intention. You seem like a good man who is trying to do his part to make things better. That is all any of us can do---just try to do our part each day to make the world a better place. I wish I had the means to be able to make sure that no child anywhere grows up without love and caring, and that no child had to worry about hunger today. I do what I can, along with a lot of other folks, but you're right---the numbers of disadvantaged and troubled children grows everyday. I wish it were not so---there is nothing more precious than a child.

jlwzz
10-10-2006, 06:38 PM
I have to say that this is a terrible thing ,but I side with the parents whom it sounds like, they have made it there life helping those who needed help. I am sorry for that young kid, but it sounds like he needs to be away for other small children, and if there job is helping, they cant do that and turn on the ones they are helping.

luvhoops34
10-10-2006, 06:46 PM
Sometimes I wonder how my daughter turned out so good with all the mistakes I made when she was growing up!

I owe it all to her teachers, friends and their parents. I couldn't have done it withouth them. They played a big part in teaching her responsibility and how to be a good person. The saying "It takes a village to raise a child" is the truth.

jlwzz
10-10-2006, 07:03 PM
Originally posted by luvhoops34
Sometimes I wonder how my daughter turned out so good with all the mistakes I made when she was growing up!

I owe it all to her teachers, friends and their parents. I couldn't have done it withouth them. They played a big part in teaching her responsibility and how to be a good person. The saying "It takes a village to raise a child" is the truth. Hey don't get on your self esteem, you will do something that will make all that up. I figure you have already.
I wasn't the best dad early in life, but have had a couple kids I took care of, who's parent had a little trouble and was proud that I could help and all my kids turned out very good, and the other two are doing great.