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View Full Version : How do these people make it in the world?? (NF)



kaorder1999
10-05-2006, 10:09 AM
ONE= Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.

TWO= I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.

THREE= A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy.."

FOUR= I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."

FIVE= Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

SIX= A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she
needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine, the mother says, I just gave him some ant killer.....
Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency!

kaorder1999
10-05-2006, 10:12 AM
#5 is pretty funny...i could picture someone doing that

piratebg
10-05-2006, 10:18 AM
I've got one. Two days ago I called CPL to turn to transfer power and my account to my new house. My wife and I have pretty much moved everything except for the beds and tvs. Anyways, I told the lady on the phone that I wanted this to be done on the next available date and they say everything will be done by Monday. I'm like, okay. Well yesterday, at my apartment, the power gets cut off at 900am. My wife hears a door shut and looks outside to see the CPL truck leaving. We check the new house and there is no power there at all. I called CPL and they said well you said the next available day. Apparently, the soonest they could cut my power was yesterday, but they can't turn my new house on until Monday. I hate them.

SWMustang
10-05-2006, 10:18 AM
#1 is the most realistic.

injuredinmelee
10-05-2006, 10:19 AM
I went to Burger King when they had a double cheese something they were advertising on special. I ordered it as Double cheese (whatever it was).
Cashier: would you like cheese with that?
Me: Silent. ( i thought she was messing with me)
Cashier: Looking at me impatiently while I remain silent. after about 10 seconds she repeats, "Would you like cheese on that sir? "
Me: "Sweetie it is a double CHEESE."
Cashier: "Let me ask my manager"
Manager: "I apologize sir it is her first day."
Me: Inside im thinking, 'first day with a new brain?'

injuredinmelee
10-05-2006, 10:21 AM
Originally posted by piratebg
I've got one. Two days ago I called CPL to turn to transfer power and my account to my new house. My wife and I have pretty much moved everything except for the beds and tvs. Anyways, I told the lady on the phone that I wanted this to be done on the next available date and they say everything will be done by Monday. I'm like, okay. Well yesterday, at my apartment, the power gets cut off at 900am. My wife hears a door shut and looks outside to see the CPL truck leaving. We check the new house and there is no power there at all. I called CPL and they said well you said the next available day. Apparently, the soonest they could cut my power was yesterday, but they can't turn my new house on until Monday. I hate them.

Oh wow I would be 3 feet up their _ _ _.

piratebg
10-05-2006, 10:23 AM
Originally posted by injuredinmelee
Oh wow I would be 3 feet up their _ _ _.

I just spent the longest night of life at my inlaws house because of this. Trust me, I'm not done with them yet.

Adidas410s
10-05-2006, 10:28 AM
Originally posted by injuredinmelee
Oh wow I would be 3 feet up their _ _ _.

it wouldn't be pretty in South Texas with Rickadamus running the show...

injuredinmelee
10-05-2006, 10:29 AM
Originally posted by piratebg
I just spent the longest night of life at my inlaws house because of this. Trust me, I'm not done with them yet.
my gf's parents called yesterday evening and wanted me to go pick up a cake that her mom had made. I am thinking that this will be a in and out job... 3 hours later and 400 different reasons i had to give him that UT is better than Tech and that all wylie kids are not spoiled little rich kids we left. The cake was worth it.

kaorder1999
10-05-2006, 10:29 AM
This is a TRUE STORY. My mom got a call from a lady who is almost like my adopted sister. She had at the time a 2 year old son with a bad ear ache which later was diagnosed as a severe ear infection. My mother told me if she had given him anything for the pain and she said..."Well...i put the tylenol in his ears but he's just crying louder."

pirate4state
10-05-2006, 10:30 AM
I really LMAO at all of them, but #2 killed me!!!! :evillol:

carter08
10-05-2006, 04:25 PM
These are hillarious:D