Friday morning joke

[CHS_CG]

Two women were out for a Saturday stroll. One had a Doberman and the
>>other, a Chihuahua. As they walked down the street, the one with the
>>Doberman said to her friend, "Let's go over to that bar for a drink."
>>
>>The lady with the Chihuahua said, "We can't go in there We've got
>>dogs with us."
>>
>>The one with the Doberman said, "Just watch, and do as I do." She put
>>on a pair of dark glasses, walked over to the bar and started to walk in.
>>The bouncer at the door said, "Sorry, lady, no pets allowed."
>>
>>The woman said, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog." &!
>>nbsp;
>>The bouncer said, "A Doberman?"
>>
>>The woman said, "Yes, they're using them now. They're very good."
>>
>>The bouncer said, "OK, come on in."
>>
>>The lady with the Chihuahua thought that convincing the bouncer that
>>a Chihuahua was a seeing-eye dog may be a bit more difficult, but
>>thought, "What the heck," so she put on her dark glasses and started to walk in.
>>
>>Once again the bouncer said, "Sorry, lady, no pets allowed."
>>
>>The woman said, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog"
>>
>>The bouncer said, "A Chihuahua?"
>>
>>The woman with the Chihuahua said, "A Chihuahua? They gave me a
>>D@mn Chihuahua?'

[PPHSfan]

OK,

I laughed.:clap:

[pirate4state]

LOL!!

[Gobbla2001]

haha... that's good...

[CHS_CG]

Two old ladies are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. One of the old ladies pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.

Maude: What in the hell is that?

Mable: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

Maude: Where did you get it?

Mable: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Maude hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.

"Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel."

The pharmacist fainted.

[Gobbla2001]

Originally posted by CHS_CG
Two old ladies are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. One of the old ladies pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.

Maude: What in the hell is that?

Mable: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

Maude: Where did you get it?

Mable: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Maude hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.

"Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel."

The pharmacist fainted.

hehe

[CHS_CG]

*disclaimer* if you get offended easily please do not read this joke, if you read it after this disclaimer please do not complain! Thanks CHS_CG!*








A large, powerfully-built guy meets a woman at a bar. After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. As they are making out in the bedroom, he stands up and starts to undress.

After he takes his shirt off, he flexes his muscular arms and says, "See that, baby? That''s 1000 pounds of dynamite!"? She begins to drool.

The man drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilder''s pose, and says, referring to his bulging thighs, "See those, baby?? That''s 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She is aching for action at this point.

Finally, he drops his underpants, and after a quick glance, she grabs her purse and runs screaming to the front door.

He catches her before she is able to leave and asks, "Why are you in such a hurry to go?"

She replies, "With 2000 pounds of dynamite and such a short fuse, I was afraid you were about to blow!"