Adidas410s
08-14-2006, 12:38 PM
For those who have grown children - this is hysterical
For those who have children past this age, this is hilarious.
For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.
The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin,
Texas: Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a
2000 sq. foot house, 4 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with
roller blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults
in a crowded restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor
is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman
underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough,
however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint
on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling
fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you
have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.
A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a
baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh",
it's already too late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint
rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can
only do it in the movies.
10.)Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive
tract of a 4-year old boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
2.) Super glue is forever.
3.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool
you still can't walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
5.) VCR's do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even
though TV commercials show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on;
plastic toys do not like ovens.
20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response
time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does
not make earthworms dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their
friends, with or without kids.
25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox
and Brake fluid.
For those who have children past this age, this is hilarious.
For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.
The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin,
Texas: Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a
2000 sq. foot house, 4 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with
roller blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults
in a crowded restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor
is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman
underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough,
however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint
on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling
fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you
have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.
A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a
baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh",
it's already too late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint
rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can
only do it in the movies.
10.)Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive
tract of a 4-year old boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
2.) Super glue is forever.
3.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool
you still can't walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
5.) VCR's do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even
though TV commercials show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on;
plastic toys do not like ovens.
20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response
time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does
not make earthworms dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their
friends, with or without kids.
25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox
and Brake fluid.