BlueBlood
07-14-2006, 12:51 PM
Wacky predictions for baseball's second half:
10. Carl Everett’s world-view will be shattered when a brontosaurus wanders onto the field at Safeco.
9. In full view of the cameras, Ozzie Guillen and Jay Mariotti will unknowingly reenact the “you know how I know you’re gay” scene from The 40 Year Old Virgin.
8. Taking a cue from English football, MLB relegates the Cubs to the Pioneer League.
7. A.J. Pierzynski will begin hating and booing himself.
6. Jose Lima will find employment in the only other place eager to hire incompetent clowns: The Los Angeles Times sports pages.
5. Grand Jury will order that Barry Bonds be put out to stud.
4. The American people will finally realize that Travis Hafner looks more like Shrek than Kevin Mench does.
3. Flanked by UN negotiators, Derek Jeter and Nick Lachey will agree to stop dating the same celebutantes.
2. Zidane will headbutt Ben Roethlisberger off his motorcycle. This will happen at a ballpark.
1. Manny Ramirez will opt to play the field for the balance of the season in an Arnold Palmer-endorsed mobility scooter.
10. Carl Everett’s world-view will be shattered when a brontosaurus wanders onto the field at Safeco.
9. In full view of the cameras, Ozzie Guillen and Jay Mariotti will unknowingly reenact the “you know how I know you’re gay” scene from The 40 Year Old Virgin.
8. Taking a cue from English football, MLB relegates the Cubs to the Pioneer League.
7. A.J. Pierzynski will begin hating and booing himself.
6. Jose Lima will find employment in the only other place eager to hire incompetent clowns: The Los Angeles Times sports pages.
5. Grand Jury will order that Barry Bonds be put out to stud.
4. The American people will finally realize that Travis Hafner looks more like Shrek than Kevin Mench does.
3. Flanked by UN negotiators, Derek Jeter and Nick Lachey will agree to stop dating the same celebutantes.
2. Zidane will headbutt Ben Roethlisberger off his motorcycle. This will happen at a ballpark.
1. Manny Ramirez will opt to play the field for the balance of the season in an Arnold Palmer-endorsed mobility scooter.