Gobbla2001
06-01-2006, 05:39 PM
This is off one of the websites/forums I frequent:
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Brad's Corner is a monthly commentary written by Brad about whatever he feels like. It's supposed to be funny, interesting and thought provoking, but most geniuses are misunderstood. Check out the June 2006 edition of Brad's Corner and see what's on his mind.
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link:http://www.galleywinter.com/main/News/article/sid=189.html
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(Ed. Note. I am getting married this month; I'm the best man at my best friend's wedding a week after ours; and 2 weeks before ours I'm a groomsman in a longtime friend of mine's wedding. Three weddings within a month. It's hectic, it's crazy, and it's fun. This chain of events goes to show that we don't know what's in store for us in life. Some higher power is guiding us around, and no, it's not L. Ron Hubbard, Tom Cruise. I first wrote this column almost two years ago after I was in my friends, Ben and Amy's wedding)
So I was in a wedding last month and it got me to thinking how they have changed since I was a little kid. Sure, Catholic weddings have always just been a huge excuse to get hammered and mingle with people you see all the time. Whereas Baptist weddings tend to be less exciting than a putt putt golf tournament ON TV! But, nowadays they are so much more. As a child, I have no recollection of ice sculptures, umpteen groomsmen and bridesmaids, unity candles, weird frilly things, and long drawn out sermons about how the ring represents the unity of life and the couple. Maybe it’s because I was busy harassing my mom, not paying attention, playing with building fund offering envelopes and annoying the old people in front of me, but I just don’t think people had all that hoopla back in the day.
People now spend thousands upon thousands of dollars on weddings. Why? If it was up to me, I’d save all that money, do the Vegas or J.P. thing and then have a big ass party. The worst part of the whole wedding process is taking pictures. Especially if it’s a summer wedding or since we’re in Texas even January because it gets so damn hot in those tux’s and I’m sure the ladies are burning up in those ugly dresses. Why must we get there three hours early to have some jackass pose us for stupid pictures the bride/groom aren’t going to buy? “Alright fellas, now one with the sunglasses leaning to the left, 2 of you smile, 4 of you don’t etc etc.” Well, chief, I’ve got a posing idea for you how about you take a picture of my middle finger and use in your studio to display how good your work is. In actuality, the reception’s the only important part, or at least it is to the guys. Well, that and the bachelor party. Yet, that’s a whole ‘nother story. I’m from a small town and I’ve been to weddings in tiny towns and big cities. Small town weddings are different. You run into more people you don’t want to see than you do, you have ex girlfriends, teachers, neighbors, that smelly kid from the 3rd grade, people who used to be nerds but have now had their extreme makeover by removing their glasses, and ladies that were so old when you were young you thought they’d died 20 years ago.
I believe Rodney Carrington summed it up best when he said just make sure there’s beer and whiskey when the sh*t’s over with. And isn’t that the truth. It’s the last few hours married people will have their lives as they know it. Sure, they’ve lived together, dated for a while, combined bank accounts and all that good stuff. However, something strange seems to happen to people I’ve known who got married the minute they get back from their honeymoon. Aside from being sore from all the reading and studying they did while on their honeymoon, marriage seems to age them 40 years. All of a sudden 2 of the wildest, craziest partying people you’ve ever known make old Jewish people in Miami seem like Kid Rock.
Right here on Galleywinter we’re having couple after couple get married or engaged. All I can say is good luck to Amanda/Michael, Aaron/Sheila, Meg/Scott, and everyone else. I plan to join you one day after I turn 30! (HA!)
---
Brad's Corner is a monthly commentary written by Brad about whatever he feels like. It's supposed to be funny, interesting and thought provoking, but most geniuses are misunderstood. Check out the June 2006 edition of Brad's Corner and see what's on his mind.
---
link:http://www.galleywinter.com/main/News/article/sid=189.html
---
(Ed. Note. I am getting married this month; I'm the best man at my best friend's wedding a week after ours; and 2 weeks before ours I'm a groomsman in a longtime friend of mine's wedding. Three weddings within a month. It's hectic, it's crazy, and it's fun. This chain of events goes to show that we don't know what's in store for us in life. Some higher power is guiding us around, and no, it's not L. Ron Hubbard, Tom Cruise. I first wrote this column almost two years ago after I was in my friends, Ben and Amy's wedding)
So I was in a wedding last month and it got me to thinking how they have changed since I was a little kid. Sure, Catholic weddings have always just been a huge excuse to get hammered and mingle with people you see all the time. Whereas Baptist weddings tend to be less exciting than a putt putt golf tournament ON TV! But, nowadays they are so much more. As a child, I have no recollection of ice sculptures, umpteen groomsmen and bridesmaids, unity candles, weird frilly things, and long drawn out sermons about how the ring represents the unity of life and the couple. Maybe it’s because I was busy harassing my mom, not paying attention, playing with building fund offering envelopes and annoying the old people in front of me, but I just don’t think people had all that hoopla back in the day.
People now spend thousands upon thousands of dollars on weddings. Why? If it was up to me, I’d save all that money, do the Vegas or J.P. thing and then have a big ass party. The worst part of the whole wedding process is taking pictures. Especially if it’s a summer wedding or since we’re in Texas even January because it gets so damn hot in those tux’s and I’m sure the ladies are burning up in those ugly dresses. Why must we get there three hours early to have some jackass pose us for stupid pictures the bride/groom aren’t going to buy? “Alright fellas, now one with the sunglasses leaning to the left, 2 of you smile, 4 of you don’t etc etc.” Well, chief, I’ve got a posing idea for you how about you take a picture of my middle finger and use in your studio to display how good your work is. In actuality, the reception’s the only important part, or at least it is to the guys. Well, that and the bachelor party. Yet, that’s a whole ‘nother story. I’m from a small town and I’ve been to weddings in tiny towns and big cities. Small town weddings are different. You run into more people you don’t want to see than you do, you have ex girlfriends, teachers, neighbors, that smelly kid from the 3rd grade, people who used to be nerds but have now had their extreme makeover by removing their glasses, and ladies that were so old when you were young you thought they’d died 20 years ago.
I believe Rodney Carrington summed it up best when he said just make sure there’s beer and whiskey when the sh*t’s over with. And isn’t that the truth. It’s the last few hours married people will have their lives as they know it. Sure, they’ve lived together, dated for a while, combined bank accounts and all that good stuff. However, something strange seems to happen to people I’ve known who got married the minute they get back from their honeymoon. Aside from being sore from all the reading and studying they did while on their honeymoon, marriage seems to age them 40 years. All of a sudden 2 of the wildest, craziest partying people you’ve ever known make old Jewish people in Miami seem like Kid Rock.
Right here on Galleywinter we’re having couple after couple get married or engaged. All I can say is good luck to Amanda/Michael, Aaron/Sheila, Meg/Scott, and everyone else. I plan to join you one day after I turn 30! (HA!)