Cat22
05-12-2006, 11:11 AM
Hope this has not been posted before. Someone sent me this in an email and I thought I would share it with you guys. So True!!
Differences between football in the North and in the South
Women's Accessories:
North - ChapStick in back pocket and a $20 bill in the front pocket
South - Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks, waterproof mascara, and
a flask of bourbon. Money is not necessary, that's what dates are for.
Stadium Size:
North - College football stadiums hold 20,000 people South - High school
football stadiums hold 20,000 people
Getting Tickets:
North - 5 days before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus
and can still purchase tickets South - 5 months before the game you walk
into the ticket office on campus and can still put you name on the
waiting list for tickets (which have been sold out for months)
Friday Classes after a Thursday Night Game:
North - Students and teachers not sure they're going to the game because
they have classes on Friday South - Teachers cancel Friday classes
because there is a game the night before
Parking:
North - An hour before game time, the university opens the campus for
game parking South - RVs sporting their school flags begin arriving on
Wednesday for the weekend festivities. The really faithful arrive on
Tuesday.
Game Day:
North - A few students party in the dorm and watch ESPN on TV.
South - Every student wakes up, has a beer for breakfast, and rushes
over to where ESPN is broadcasting "Game Day Live" to get on camera and
wave to the people up North who wonder why "Game day Live" is never
broadcast from their campus.
Tailgating:
North - Raw meat on a grill, beer with lime in it, listening to local
radio station with truck tailgate down South - 30-foot custom pig-shaped
smoker fires up at dawn. Cooking is accompanied by live performance by
"Dave Matthews Band"
Getting to the Stadium:
North - You ask "Where's the stadium?" When you find it, you walk right
in.
South - When you're near it, you'll hear it. On game day it becomes the
states third largest city.
Concessions:
North - Drinks served in a paper cup, filled to the brim with soda.
South - Drinks served in a plastic cup, with the home team's mascot on
it, filled 3/4 full with coke, to ensure enough room for the right mix
of whiskey
Commentary (Male):
North - "Nice play."
South - "#!@*$ you slow #*!@# - tackle him and break his legs."
Commentary (Female):
North - "My, this certainly is a violent sport."
South - "#!@*$ you slow #*!@# - tackle him and break his legs."
After the Game:
North - The stadium is empty way before the game ends.
South - Another rack of ribs goes on the smoker, and planning begins for
next week's game.
Differences between football in the North and in the South
Women's Accessories:
North - ChapStick in back pocket and a $20 bill in the front pocket
South - Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks, waterproof mascara, and
a flask of bourbon. Money is not necessary, that's what dates are for.
Stadium Size:
North - College football stadiums hold 20,000 people South - High school
football stadiums hold 20,000 people
Getting Tickets:
North - 5 days before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus
and can still purchase tickets South - 5 months before the game you walk
into the ticket office on campus and can still put you name on the
waiting list for tickets (which have been sold out for months)
Friday Classes after a Thursday Night Game:
North - Students and teachers not sure they're going to the game because
they have classes on Friday South - Teachers cancel Friday classes
because there is a game the night before
Parking:
North - An hour before game time, the university opens the campus for
game parking South - RVs sporting their school flags begin arriving on
Wednesday for the weekend festivities. The really faithful arrive on
Tuesday.
Game Day:
North - A few students party in the dorm and watch ESPN on TV.
South - Every student wakes up, has a beer for breakfast, and rushes
over to where ESPN is broadcasting "Game Day Live" to get on camera and
wave to the people up North who wonder why "Game day Live" is never
broadcast from their campus.
Tailgating:
North - Raw meat on a grill, beer with lime in it, listening to local
radio station with truck tailgate down South - 30-foot custom pig-shaped
smoker fires up at dawn. Cooking is accompanied by live performance by
"Dave Matthews Band"
Getting to the Stadium:
North - You ask "Where's the stadium?" When you find it, you walk right
in.
South - When you're near it, you'll hear it. On game day it becomes the
states third largest city.
Concessions:
North - Drinks served in a paper cup, filled to the brim with soda.
South - Drinks served in a plastic cup, with the home team's mascot on
it, filled 3/4 full with coke, to ensure enough room for the right mix
of whiskey
Commentary (Male):
North - "Nice play."
South - "#!@*$ you slow #*!@# - tackle him and break his legs."
Commentary (Female):
North - "My, this certainly is a violent sport."
South - "#!@*$ you slow #*!@# - tackle him and break his legs."
After the Game:
North - The stadium is empty way before the game ends.
South - Another rack of ribs goes on the smoker, and planning begins for
next week's game.