Important info you need to know!!!

[STANG RED]

Hopefully, this wont get edited by the mods. I dont think it should offend anyone.

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!"
Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N.
Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt.
The deeply religious couple produced six children:
Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Against her parents' objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a highschool dropout.
After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.
The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse.
Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa
Schitt. Now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt," you can correct them.

[Ranger Mom]

LOL!! That's funny!

(I bet at LEAST one poster will be offended)!

We will see how it goes!!

[piratebg]

I know Jack Schitt, but it has been some time since I've been to the Schitt house. :D

[Phil C]

Originally posted by Ranger Mom
LOL!! That's funny!

(I bet at LEAST one poster will be offended)!

We will see how it goes!!

I'm more offended by the Houston Texans not drafting Vince Young than this harmless joke. :mad:

[AP Panther Fan]

LOL...this one never gets old.:D

[STANG RED]

Originally posted by piratebg
I know Jack Schitt, but it has been some time since I've been to the Schitt house. :D

I hear theres a nice creek with row boat behind that house.................but you have to bring your own paddles.

[SintonFan]

Originally posted by STANG RED
I hear theres a nice creek with row boat behind that house.................but you have to bring your own paddles.
.
Curious....
what kind of dogs do these ppl breed?:thinking:

[CenTexSports]

Everybody knows that with out the paddle you are:

Up the proverbial tributary without the necessary means of locomotion.

[piratebg]

One time I took a Schitt too a movie when I was in high school. I think her name was Constant or something like that. I do remember her dad, Major Schitt. He did not take crap from no one. He was a real A-hole.

[AP Panther Fan]

Originally posted by SintonFan
.
Curious....
what kind of dogs do these ppl breed?:thinking:


Schitzus, of course!:cool:

[Cameron Crazy]

Thats hillariuos

[SintonFan]

Originally posted by AP Panther Fan
Schitzus, of course!:cool:
.
:clap:
.
Did you hear that their favorite fishing site is affected by the brown tide?:eek:

[44INAROW]

I know Jack's half-brothers, TOUGH and DEEP.. Really nice guys :D

[pirate4state]

Originally posted by Ranger Mom
(I bet at LEAST one poster will be offended)!

The only thing I find offensive about the Schitt family is their smell!!! :eek:

[LH Panther Mom]

This week, I've worked with their cousin...."For Brains". :doh: :doh:

[SintonFan]

Originally posted by 44INAROW
I know Jack's half-brothers, TOUGH and DEEP.. Really nice guys :D
.
Small world. :cool:
I know them too, they are hard workers and they really BUST A$$.

[AP Panther Fan]

Originally posted by 44INAROW
I know Jack's half-brothers, TOUGH and DEEP.. Really nice guys :D


I run across Ima Schitt-Outtaluck from time to time.....:thinking:

I believe she is a cousin or something.....

[44INAROW]

Originally posted by pirate4state
The only thing I find offensive about the Schitt family is their smell!!! :eek:

LOL I overheard someone say that their Schitt didn't stink :D

[piratebg]

I had no idea Jack Schitt and Noe Schitt's kids had grown into big Schitts. I remember when those terds were nothing but little schitts stinking up the town.

[Ranger Mom]

Originally posted by AP Panther Fan
Schitzus, of course!:cool:

Sometimes they breed them with their cousins bulldog.

Then they get Bullschitz!!

[SintonFan]

Originally posted by AP Panther Fan
I run across Ima Schitt-Outtaluck from time to time.....:thinking:

I believe she is a cousin or something.....
.
Isn't she a down in the dumps movie director. I heard her last film "Cigar between the Cheeks" really stank up the joint.:(

[AP Panther Fan]

Originally posted by Ranger Mom
Sometimes they breed them with their cousins bulldog.

Then they get Bullschitz!!


Their other cousin has a bird dog...when they bred the two of course they got a BirdShitz....

That crazy dog always wants to get "on" my car!

[pirate4state]

Originally posted by SintonFan
.
Isn't she a down in the dumps movie director. I heard her last film "Cigar between the Cheeks" really stank up the joint.:( ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww :weeping: LMAO

[SintonFan]

Originally posted by pirate4state
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww :weeping: LMAO
.
It's ok... I heard it was one of those artsy fartys type of movies.:)

[piratebg]

I saw in the paper that they recently had a family reunion at the park......




SCHITT STORM 2006

[SintonFan]

Originally posted by piratebg
I saw in the paper that they recently had a family reunion at the park......




SCHITT STORM 2006
.
Was that at COLONial Park?

[piratebg]

Originally posted by SintonFan
.
Was that at COLONial Park?


Actually it was at Pooter Park just off of Anal Lane.

[SintonFan]

Originally posted by piratebg
Actually it was at Pooter Park just off of Anal Lane.
.
Is Anal Lane close to Dookie Houser Drive?
This IS in the town of Skidmarks, isn't it?

[piratebg]

Originally posted by SintonFan
.
Is Anal Lane close to Dookie Houser Drive?
This IS in the town of Skidmarks, isn't it?


Yes it is. They met there because the city is building a monument for Grandpa Schitts, who passed away last year of what was then an unknown disease. Now that they have identified the disease, they have dubbed it the Walking Schitts.

[AP Panther Fan]

OKAY....tears are running down my face now!:evillaugh

[SintonFan]

Originally posted by piratebg
Yes it is. They met there because the city is building a monument for Grandpa Schitts, who passed away last year of what was then an unknown disease. Now that they have identified the disease, they have dubbed it the Walking Schitts.
.
Thank Goodness! I'm so glad he didn't have Sleeping Schitts. That comes and bites in you in the a$$ while you sleep!:eek:
.
So did they have Bronze beef medallions at the ceremony?

[AP Panther Fan]

Originally posted by SintonFan
So did they have Bronze beef medallions at the ceremony?

I heard it was Chinese....and consisted of primarily poo poo platters... :nerd:

[SintonFan]

Originally posted by AP Panther Fan
I heard it was Chinese....and consisted of primarily poo poo platters... :nerd:
.
I found part of the menu!.
.
http://www.rahoi.com/images/blog/menu/livingthebowel.jpg

[SintonFan]

Originally posted by Ranger Mom
Sometimes they breed them with their cousins bulldog.

Then they get Bullschitz!!
.
That's the same breed as Scooby Doo!

[Gobbla2001]

That good, Sherlock haha...

I like that, surprised it wasn't done 20 years ago...

Too bad I can't go off of the Dave Chapelle skit and post a 'different' last name on here... that one would for sure be pulled...

[SintonFan]

Originally posted by SintonFan
.
I found part of the menu!.
.
http://www.rahoi.com/images/blog/menu/livingthebowel.jpg
.
.
Here's the rest of the menu. Enjoy.:)
.
http://www.rahoi.com/images/blog/menu/bigchunk.jpg
.
I bet the "Cucumber flavor soup immerses meatball" was a big hit.

[piratebg]

Here's funny fact. With all of the Schitts in the world, not one of them are plumbers. Infact most end up becoming lawyers, politicians, used car salesmen.....you know bull$h!++ers.

[SintonFan]

Originally posted by piratebg
Here's funny fact. With all of the Schitts in the world, not one of them are plumbers. Infact most end up becoming lawyers, politicians, used car salesmen.....you know bull$h!++ers.
.
Are the all heavy drinkers? If so, what are they like after a twelve-pack?

[mustang04]

wasnt there like the blacksheep of the whole family, he always thought he was cooler than the rest...i think his name was like Haught Schitt?!?! i know he was german:D

[piratebg]

Originally posted by SintonFan
.
Are the all heavy drinkers? If so, what are they like after a twelve-pack?


Trust me, there is nothing worse than a drunk Schitt.

[SintonFan]

Originally posted by piratebg
Trust me, there is nothing worse than a drunk Schitt.
.
Close but no brown cigar...

[AP Panther Fan]

Originally posted by SintonFan
.
Are the all heavy drinkers? If so, what are they like after a twelve-pack?


Schitt-faced....:doh:

[piratebg]

Originally posted by AP Panther Fan
Schitt-faced....:doh:


They all look Schitt-faced. It's a genetic thing. :)

[SintonFan]

Originally posted by AP Panther Fan
Schitt-faced....:doh:
.
HaHa!:clap:
.
.
Here's you reward. A conversation over heard at the Schitt family reunion:
.
Three old Schitt elders are talking about their aches, pains and bodily functions.

The 70 year old man says, "I have this problem.
I wake up every morning at seven and it takes me twenty minutes to pee."

The 80 year old man says, "My case is worse.
I get up at eight and I sit there and grunt and groan for half an hour before I finally have a bowel movement."

The 90 year old man says, "At seven I pee like a horse, and at eight I crap like a cow."

"So what's your problem?" ask the others. "I don't wake up until nine!"

[piratebg]

Someone get him a pack of Ooops I Crapped My Pants. :thumbsup:

[SintonFan]

Originally posted by piratebg
Someone get him a pack of Ooops I Crapped My Pants. :thumbsup:
.
lol SNL!:D
.
.
Here's the Schitt family legacy:
.
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "But I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull,
"They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally, after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer who shot the turkey.

Moral of the story:
BullSchitt might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.