Adidas410s
04-25-2006, 02:00 PM
This is taken from an ESPN2 article and I can't take claim to creating the laughs you are about to have.
18. Dallas Cowboys: Dr. Phil, licensed clinical psychologist
Phil McGraw is "a licensed clinical psychologist in the great state of Texas," according to his official bio, yet films his show in Hollywood. This means he does not practice psychology on his shows, because he is not licensed to practice in California. But there are no laws saying you can't hand out worthless advice on the air to people you've met only moments before. Dr. Phil has "published numerous scholarly articles," his Web site claims, though strangely lists none. Check McGraw's preposterously negative guidance to the married, which includes these cheery assignments: "Write one page about the current deadness in your life. Write a 65-item 'bitch list' about your partner." Darling, I have 65 written complaints about you I'd like to discuss. Imagine if the Cowboys took Dr. Phil's advice:
BILL PARCELLS: When the going gets tough, the tough …
TERRELL OWENS: I feel a current deadness in my life.
PARCELLS: Go out there and …
OWENS: We need to discuss my bitch list. It contains 65 items.
PARCELLS: I want you men to smash the living …
OWENS: Item number one: People should stand when I enter the room. Item number two: The white star at the center of Texas Stadium should be replaced with my picture. Item number three: I was not invited to be the keynote speaker at the funeral of Coretta Scott King. Item number four: My helipad at the practice facility still isn't ready. Item number five …
PARCELLS: Get me Dr. Phil!
TEAM OFFICIAL: Sorry, he's writing a scholarly article
18. Dallas Cowboys: Dr. Phil, licensed clinical psychologist
Phil McGraw is "a licensed clinical psychologist in the great state of Texas," according to his official bio, yet films his show in Hollywood. This means he does not practice psychology on his shows, because he is not licensed to practice in California. But there are no laws saying you can't hand out worthless advice on the air to people you've met only moments before. Dr. Phil has "published numerous scholarly articles," his Web site claims, though strangely lists none. Check McGraw's preposterously negative guidance to the married, which includes these cheery assignments: "Write one page about the current deadness in your life. Write a 65-item 'bitch list' about your partner." Darling, I have 65 written complaints about you I'd like to discuss. Imagine if the Cowboys took Dr. Phil's advice:
BILL PARCELLS: When the going gets tough, the tough …
TERRELL OWENS: I feel a current deadness in my life.
PARCELLS: Go out there and …
OWENS: We need to discuss my bitch list. It contains 65 items.
PARCELLS: I want you men to smash the living …
OWENS: Item number one: People should stand when I enter the room. Item number two: The white star at the center of Texas Stadium should be replaced with my picture. Item number three: I was not invited to be the keynote speaker at the funeral of Coretta Scott King. Item number four: My helipad at the practice facility still isn't ready. Item number five …
PARCELLS: Get me Dr. Phil!
TEAM OFFICIAL: Sorry, he's writing a scholarly article